Today, I got more excited when two Kit-Kat bars fell at once in a vending machine than I did when I got married. FML

by jakewr / 07/02/2011 at 12:14am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, my wife and I were watching TV. The lady on the show began to talk about how to have a smooth divorce. My wife discreetly turned the volume up. FML

by single / 07/01/2011 at 5:12am / China (Guangdong) / Love

Today, I got asked on a date. I was later told we had to cancel. Why? My ex is parked in front of his house and he is afraid to leave. FML

by nolove4me / 06/29/2011 at 4:41pm / United States (Alaska) / Love

Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML

by lamortdeshommes / 06/28/2011 at 1:03pm / United States / Love

Today, my boyfriend informed me that he'd resolved all the issues with his ex and is getting back together with her. Normally I could tolerate this if it weren't for the fact that I just moved to a different country to live with him, and turned down a university and a scholarship. FML

by Mrs.Slyfox / 06/28/2011 at 5:53am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, my boyfriend tried to climb up to my third story window in the early hours of the morning. Just before he got to the top, he slipped and fell to the ground. My dad had to drive him to the hospital at 3am. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2011 at 7:45pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Love

Today, I surprised my girlfriend with roses. She surprised me by getting back together with her ex. FML

by fmylovelife / 06/27/2011 at 7:45pm / United States / Love

Today, I found out my new Commanding Officer is my ex-wife's new boyfriend. We're going on a two year tour at sea in two weeks. The reason we got a divorce is that she couldn't handle being tied down with someone in the Navy. FML

by Drunken Sailor / 06/27/2011 at 3:20pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my boyfriend of five years proposed to me in front of my entire family. He later confessed that it was part of a dare with his friends because, "There was no way you'd say yes." Guess who has to explain this to all my relatives? FML

by mavstrr1764847 / 06/27/2011 at 2:38pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, when my boyfriend said it was time to play with his baby, I figured he was talking about me. He meant his Xbox. FML

by luni / 06/26/2011 at 5:17pm / United Kingdom (Devon) / Love

Today, I sprained my knee while going down on one knee to propose to my girlfriend. She laughed as I rolled in pain. I still haven't gotten an answer. FML

by smoothmove / 06/26/2011 at 12:29am / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, my boyfriend caught me in a lie about being on my period. He memorized my menstrual cycle, but still forgot that today is my birthday. FML

by cek4uytp / 06/25/2011 at 2:02am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my school year book awarded "cutest couple" to my boyfriend and I. We broke up yesterday. FML

by yearbook369 / 06/25/2011 at 12:31am / United States (New Jersey) / Love