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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was lying in bed with the worst stomach cramps ever. My boyfriend came, looked at me writhing in pain, and said, "Well at least if it's a tapeworm you'll get skinnier." FML

#6826046
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33154) - you deserved it (3353)

On 12/19/2009 at 10:15am - love - by ouch (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, when my boyfriend and I were becoming intimate, his cat decides to jump onto the bed and lie right in between us. He then informs me that he wanted to stop to "preserve his cat's innocence." FML

#6824662
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26110) - you deserved it (4367)

On 12/19/2009 at 5:18am - love - by Madagascar (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend who I love very deeply dumped me two times, over the phone. The first time was to dump me. She then called me back a couple hours later explicitly to dump our friendship. I was just friend dumped. FML

#6823589
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30750) - you deserved it (2625)

On 12/19/2009 at 2:48am - love - by musicyman55 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I recieved a phone call from a good guy friend of mine, someone I haven't seen for years. He tells me he has "deep" feelings for me, and wants to know since my husband is deployed, if it would be okay if we "dated" because he told his parents I'm his girlfriend. FML

#6821987
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31061) - you deserved it (2395)

On 12/19/2009 at 12:52am - love - by annoyed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I met a girl at the bar. Things were going really well and we ended up going back to her place. Problem? Her husband who normally works the graveyard shift was home sick. FML

#6821281
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23696) - you deserved it (10300)

On 12/19/2009 at 12:13am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I spent hours delicately writing out what seemed to be a beautiful poem to my girlfriend. After I sent it to her, I kept eyeing my phone to see her surprised message. No, my only response was "you may want to use a spellcheck." FML

#6820464
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11489) - you deserved it (22771)

On 12/18/2009 at 11:29pm - love - by Poem (man) - United States (California)

Today, my best friend decided to admit to me that he and my girlfriend have been cheating behind my back for the past two months. The reason he finally admitted it? Because she is now cheating on him with another one of our friends. FML

#6812194
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31640) - you deserved it (2317)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realised that the most kisses I ever get are in text messages from my Dad. FML

#6812092
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23779) - you deserved it (3587)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:26pm - love - by lovesucks (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, I looked at my house in Google Street View for the first time and noticed an unfamiliar vehicle in the driveway. When I asked my wife about it, she admitted to have an ongoing affair. Apparently the entire world knew my wife was having an affair before I did. FML

#6808651
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37431) - you deserved it (2536)

On 12/18/2009 at 9:31am - love - by cheaters_should_die (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that my ex-husband just had a baby with his new partner. We only split up a week ago. FML

#6808095
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32707) - you deserved it (2031)

On 12/18/2009 at 8:02am - love - by paula123 (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, while lying in bed with my wife, I asked her if she still loved me. Her reply "Sometimes". This I know is true because she instantly rolled over and farted on my leg. FML

#6802710
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28556) - you deserved it (4162)

On 12/17/2009 at 10:48pm - love - by yoked (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I found my boyfriend of two years is a wanted man in the state of Texas, and was living under a fake identity for the past three years. What is he wanted for? Rampant identity theft. FML

#6783390
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28407) - you deserved it (2545)

On 12/16/2009 at 8:42pm - love - by Frauded (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after many, many attempts to get her out of my life, the girl that is stalking me told me that she loves me and our love can only be ended by her killing either herself or me. FML

#6781373
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41198) - you deserved it (2205)

On 12/16/2009 at 6:55pm - love - by cheezmaster (man) - United States (California)



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