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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boyfriend called me 80 times in 5 minutes. I had previously told him I was with my friends. He left me a voicemail proposing saying he loved me to death and he was crying. We've been dating for a week. FML

#6999302
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38679) - you deserved it (4472)

On 12/28/2009 at 8:21pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was talking to the guy that has been in love with me for two years. He said "There is a shortage of perfect breasts in the world. It would be a shame to lose yours." He then creepily looked at me and said "It's true." Thanks, Princess Bride, for supplying creepers with material. FML

#6998674
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21752) - you deserved it (4005)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:50pm - love - by creeped (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of two years over the phone, I recieved a knock on my door. It was my now ex-girlfriend who came to seek revenge by shooting me in the balls with a paintball gun at about a three foot range. FML

#6994925
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16171) - you deserved it (51983)

On 12/28/2009 at 3:41pm - love - by lovehurts (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, the girl I like was panicking because her car broke down, so I offered her a lift to wherever she needed to be. I drove her to her boyfriend's house. She asked me to drive her home in the morning. FML

#6992183
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28757) - you deserved it (6519)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:17pm - love - by syco (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I asked my husband if he thought I was pretty. He replied "compared to what?" He was serious. FML

#6990469
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26286) - you deserved it (6229)

On 12/28/2009 at 9:00am - love - by For (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I allowed my friend to talk me into going on a date. The guy's truck smelled like formaldehyde - I'm assuming from the snake that he apparently tried to turn into a necklace. FML

#6985807
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22684) - you deserved it (2686)

On 12/28/2009 at 1:26am - love - by KittyNeko (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was messing around with my boyfriend, trying to get him to tell me he loved me more than KISS, his favorite band. He couldn't do it. FML

#6985452
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23243) - you deserved it (10497)

On 12/28/2009 at 1:13am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got a call from a girl I fell madly in love with 8 years ago. She disappeared from my life with no trace. Turns out she just finalized her divorce, has 2 wild kids, packed on 75 lbs, has $25,000 in debt and is taking meds to keep from going crazy. Now she wants me back. FML

#6983877
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33820) - you deserved it (3040)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:03am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, the girl that I have been secretly madly in love with for 6 years told me "fuck off and stop doing nice things for me." FML

#6980347
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30101) - you deserved it (9332)

On 12/27/2009 at 9:18pm - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally told my girlfriend I love her. She corrected my grammar. FML

#6978473
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23368) - you deserved it (8970)

On 12/27/2009 at 7:37pm - love - by ITalkGood - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend left me for my sister. I can't stop thinking about all those days they went out alone for "girl time." FML

#6976806
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43148) - you deserved it (3367)

On 12/27/2009 at 5:34pm - love - by notgoodenough38 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend told me how he used to collect little things when he was younger. He then decided to tell me about his current big toe nail collection. FML

#6976804
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25205) - you deserved it (3113)

On 12/27/2009 at 5:34pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was driving in the car with my boyfriend and he couldn't keep his hands off me. Nothing to complain about when your boyfriend likes to touch you, right? Except when he keeps smacking your jiggly thighs to watch the ripples and 'tenderize the pork chops'. FML

#6971374
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30789) - you deserved it (7105)

On 12/27/2009 at 9:19am - love - by porkythighs (woman) - Singapore



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