Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I peed myself. FML

#7736774
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32338) - you deserved it (12376)

On 01/31/2010 at 5:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend and I were in my basement. I play drums and guitar very well. My girlfriend bet me $50 that she could play better than me. I made the bet, but what I didn't know was that she had been taking both drum and guitar lessons since she was 5. I just lost $50. FML

#7732713
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7256) - you deserved it (40094)

On 01/31/2010 at 1:54am - love - by unknown - Sent from mobile version

Today, my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend bumped into me at McDonald's. I was sitting alone at a table with a big mac, two large fries, a large drink and 1 case of chicken nuggets. FML

#7732342
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21198) - you deserved it (32543)

On 01/31/2010 at 1:44am - love - by tammy999 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend had replaced our picture in her locket for a picture of Taylor Lautner shirtless. FML

#7724225
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34223) - you deserved it (5736)

On 01/30/2010 at 10:20pm - love - by Twilightsux (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my husband of five years was living a double life. He and his mistress have two children together and a third one on the way. He told me the only reason he stayed with me was for my money. I make about 8 dollars an hour and work two jobs to make ends meet. FML

#7721655
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44297) - you deserved it (2441)

On 01/30/2010 at 9:11pm - love - by pkz - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was stuck sitting at a cafeteria table next to the girl who broke my heart and her boyfriend. I got to overhear the conversation, which included "I want to go to the car" followed by "Me too, but I don't have a condom." FML

#7720142
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30986) - you deserved it (2926)

On 01/30/2010 at 8:35pm - love - by WishesWasDeaf (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend convinced me to skip school with him. His mom came home early. I had to hide in his closet and wait 6 hours for her to go to her book club meeting. FML

#7711945
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9972) - you deserved it (33056)

On 01/30/2010 at 3:55pm - love - by madgf - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out I was getting a divorce. My wife is leaving me for my brother, saying that now that he has money there is nothing that can stand in their way. I recently decided to send him money to help him get back on his feet. FML

#7708774
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39411) - you deserved it (2613)

On 01/30/2010 at 1:59pm - love - by hahahaha090114 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating so I broke up with him. As revenge he threw my PS3 and XBox out of the window when I wasn't in our house. I got those consoles out of the spare money my three jobs had brought in - the same three jobs I had to get because he refused to get a job of his own. FML

#7702902
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40169) - you deserved it (8071)

On 01/30/2010 at 10:17am - love - by GamerGirl (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)

Today, the guy that I'm in love with and plan to marry some day told me he would choose a million dollars over me. I got upset and told him I no longer want to be with him. In an excited voice he said, "Really? So are you serious I don't have to worry about this love stuff anymore?" FML

#7693033
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30013) - you deserved it (8354)

On 01/30/2010 at 12:01am - love - by Star (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after finally getting a date with the girl I like, she invited her new boyfriend along as well. I ended up paying for their first date. FML

#7669267
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28875) - you deserved it (9051)

On 01/29/2010 at 8:18am - love - by waterspike - Sent from mobile version

Today, the girl I've been dating asked me to describe her body. I said "Thin an toned but curvy in all the right places." I then asked her the same question to which she replied, "I don't know, you know I'm always drunk when we're together." FML

#7667037
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27488) - you deserved it (4183)

On 01/29/2010 at 3:43am - love - by pugs - Sent from mobile version

Today, my fiancé told me he didn't have the money to make payments on my engagement ring and that I either have to return it, or make the payments myself. Now we aren't engaged any more, and are "dating." FML

#7657890
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27467) - you deserved it (4022)

On 01/28/2010 at 10:32pm - love - by oregongrl1991 - Sent from mobile version



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