Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I found out that some men think it's ok to clip their fingernails, at the table, in a restaurant, on a first date. FML

#6420618
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36736) - you deserved it (2572)

On 11/23/2009 at 5:13am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend of almost a year invited me over to dinner at his house. Before leaving, I called him to let him know I was on my way. Just as he begins to tell me he'll call me back, I hear another girl in the background say, "Why don't you just tell her you're busy?" FML

#6416046
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33198) - you deserved it (2341)

On 11/23/2009 at 12:09am - love - by apparentlyhesbusy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to put my 17 year old cat down. I cried the whole way up to the vet's office and back. After finally coming to terms with the situation, and trying to forget, my dad's friend walks up to me and says, "So, I heard you killed your cat?" FML

#6415288
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30632) - you deserved it (3284)

On 11/22/2009 at 11:30pm - love - by petlover (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend broke up me with for being the "perfect boyfriend". Apparently I'm the best boyfriend she's ever had, and she didn't know how to take it. So she dumped me. FML

#6414657
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41851) - you deserved it (3288)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:59pm - love - by Micheal (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my family sat me down and told me I was spending way too much time with my boyfriend and not enough time with them. My boyfriend has been away in Iraq for six months and just came home a week ago. FML

#6406317
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40022) - you deserved it (2150)

On 11/22/2009 at 3:03pm - love - by gj09 - United States

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend of one year when an attractive girl walks over. She asks him, "Is this your girlfriend?" He replied "That depends... are you single?" FML

#6404510
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42398) - you deserved it (3324)

On 11/22/2009 at 12:49pm - love - by Rejected. (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I was finally able to hang out with a girl I really liked at a party. We had a great time and spent hours together. When I leaned in for a kiss at the end of the night, she stopped me and said that "you're a great guy, but we can't go out because you'll be bad for my social reputation." FML

#6403006
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35066) - you deserved it (3301)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:11am - love - by Jason (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I realized that my girlfriend had never said anything about the proposal ring I had put into a box of her Froot Loops. When I hinted it to her, she said that the cereal had expired, so she threw out the box. FML

#6391175
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31181) - you deserved it (24055)

On 11/21/2009 at 4:44pm - love - by frootloops (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my boyfriend of nine months that depression runs in my family and I think the reason I've been flipping shit so much lately may be that I am depressed. Not five minutes later he decided a break would be "the best thing for us right now." FML

#6390446
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24739) - you deserved it (8084)

On 11/21/2009 at 2:10pm - love - by Guess (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to a rock concert and met this amazing girl. We started talking and then swapped cell numbers. Five minutes later, she asks to see my cellphone, so I gave it to her. Once I got home I went to text her and saw that she deleted her number. FML

#6388280
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30161) - you deserved it (4993)

On 11/21/2009 at 3:28am - love - by SeeBrendenBurn (man) - United States (California)

Today, I thought I'd surprise my girlfriend with a bear hug. I found her in the hall with her back to me talking to friends. As I walked up behind her and was about to wrap my arms around her, she said, "so does anyone have any ideas about how I should break it off with my boyfriend?" FML

#6387420
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39156) - you deserved it (2469)

On 11/21/2009 at 12:59am - love - by Fail (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML

#6378966
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12232) - you deserved it (35651)

On 11/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by inpain (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me so she could "let her life flow in the direction she wants." Apparently that includes smoking, stealing and making out with other girls at parties. The best part? She wants to get back together "after she matures and gets it out of her system." FML

#6377568
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26657) - you deserved it (2643)

On 11/20/2009 at 4:30am - love - by ApparentlyIFail (man) - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: