Today, my mom asked if I was seeing anyone. I launched into a description of my girlfriend, only for her to interrupt, saying that she meant a therapist, and the fact that I'd just made up a relationship was further proof that I needed one. I really do have a girlfriend. FML

by lovingpsychosis / 05/26/2011 at 3:53am / United Kingdom (Aberdeen City) / Love

Today, my boyfriend told me I looked pretty. I said, "Aww, that's the first time you've said that to me." He replied, "Well, it's the first time you've looked pretty." FML

by Username / 05/25/2011 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, the guy I have loved for seven years asked me to move in with him. Turns out he only did so because he needed someone to pay the rent since he's quit his job. FML

by Anonymous / 05/23/2011 at 3:25am / United States / Love

Today, I went on a blind date. When I got there, I found out that the guy was a ventriloquist and was going to use his puppet to talk to me. FML

by severedface / 05/22/2011 at 1:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I woke up, rolled over, and kissed the boy who was peacefully sleeping next to me, cheerfully saying, "Good morning, baby!" That boy is my dog. FML

by Anonymous / 05/21/2011 at 5:29pm / Denmark / Love

Today, my ex husband is marrying my sister. FML

by uetlqdja / 05/21/2011 at 11:31am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my crush and I were talking on the phone and we were really hitting it off. We got on the subject of sex and I told him I have a purity ring. Then he suddenly said he had to go and hang up. FML

by Cassie / 05/21/2011 at 3:44am / United States (Kansas) / Love

Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2011 at 7:30pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me. Ten minutes after, he called me asking how to change his relationship status on facebook. FML

by BALEIGHLOVE17 / 05/20/2011 at 1:46am / Love

Today, my boyfriend of nearly 4 years, with whom I have a baby, broke up with me. His reason? His best friend said he didn't like drinking with guys who were "tied down". FML

by me / 05/18/2011 at 12:13am / Love

Today, I drove the width of the country to tell the girl I've lost that I'm in love with her. She wasn't home. FML

by unrequited / 05/17/2011 at 10:36pm / United States / Love

Today, I was making out with this guy that I like. In an attempt to be romantic, he tried to pick me up and press me against the wall. He couldn't lift me off the ground. FML

by Fatty / 05/16/2011 at 10:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. He said he would have done it two weeks ago but he needed someone to drive him around while his car was getting repaired. FML

by Anonymous / 05/16/2011 at 6:15pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love