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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I realised that the last three people to see my intimate parts these last weeks were my beautician, my doctor and the lady who did my check up ultra sound. Oh, and I'm married. FML

#5875725
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26669) - you deserved it (4882)

On 10/18/2009 at 6:30am - love - by loveless - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend's idea of "washing her feet" is sticking her foot in the toilet and flushing. FML

#5872159
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38745) - you deserved it (2966)

On 10/17/2009 at 10:25pm - love - by userrrrr - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around when he accidentally elbowed me in the eye and I couldn't see. He rolled over, turned on the football game, and told me to just walk upstairs and get ice. He also added that he would like a coke while I am up there. FML

#5865108
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27586) - you deserved it (4265)

On 10/17/2009 at 12:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I discovered I was at the same restaurant as my ex and his new girlfriend. Quickly, I picked up my mother's phone when she wasn't looking, and began to pretend to talk to a fake new boyfriend. Few seconds later, the waiter loudly asked me if I was done talking into the calculator. FML

#5865096
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7874) - you deserved it (38899)

On 10/17/2009 at 12:25pm - love - by Ohgreat (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was on cloud nine when the beautiful waitress I frequently ordered takeaways from told me she didn't need to take my name as she remembers me from before. When I got my food I saw the sales slip. On it she had written, "Cheeseburger - Fries - Coke - nerdy guy with bad haircut." FML

#5850117
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25345) - you deserved it (3932)

On 10/16/2009 at 11:08am - love - by nerd (man) - Singapore

Today, I flew to Mexico with my (now ex) boyfriend of two years. It was my first time flying, and apparently I have a fear. I had a panic attack on the plane. When we landed, I got dumped for "causing a scene." I am now stranded in Mexico alone for two weeks with no hotel room booked. FML

#5843517
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30423) - you deserved it (4322)

On 10/15/2009 at 4:19pm - love - by dumpedandstranded (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years decided to start an online blog about his life. He mentioned his cars, his friends and even his staff. I was never mentioned. FML

#5840285
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23149) - you deserved it (4203)

On 10/15/2009 at 7:11am - love - by Forgotten One - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML

#5839452
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30087) - you deserved it (4257)

On 10/15/2009 at 3:07am - love - by Achoo (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend accidentally called me from his pocket. I thought it would be funny to see what him and his friends were talking about. I laughed when I heard him talking about us fooling around until I realized it wasn't me. FML

#5839151
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26342) - you deserved it (2234)

On 10/15/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Em - Sent from mobile version

Today, I just let out all my feeling for a woman that I have loved for 22 years. When I finished she said "You're so funny" and walked away. FML

#5835867
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25328) - you deserved it (4383)

On 10/14/2009 at 9:48pm - love - by diskdude13 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was listening to music, talking to a boy I like on MSN. He asked if I could share the song I was listening to, so I did. It wasn't until I had shared and fully transferred it did I realise it was actually the fake radio show I record on my own, in a phoney Australian accent. All 6 minutes of it. FML

#5830310
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6066) - you deserved it (24334)

On 10/14/2009 at 4:19pm - love - by LasagnaRawks (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I walked into a T-Mobile store to get a new phone. I wanted all of my numbers on my new phone, but the customer service rep had to transfer them. He said jokingly, "I understand. You don't want to lose your girlfriend's number." My girlfriend and I broke up two days ago. FML

#5829686
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21991) - you deserved it (6732)

On 10/14/2009 at 3:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got a phone call from my boyfriend, who screamed at me for being a f-ing liar and never taking time for him. He'd called my work and knew I wasn't there as I said I'd be. He was right - I was lying. I'd been driving for the past 10 hours to his family's beach house to surprise him. FML

#5827386
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25990) - you deserved it (2317)

On 10/14/2009 at 11:19am - love - by DumpedHisAss (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



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