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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went on a blind date. We were walking in the park and I noticed a funny smell. I looked down and realized I stepped in dog crap. I tried to nonchalantly rub it off on the grass, but instead hit a patch of wet grass and slipped onto my butt, right into a pile of goose poop. FML

#7314783
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28691) - you deserved it (3989)

On 01/13/2010 at 3:07am - love - by Juanna (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out the guy I've been seeing for 3 months lives at home with his parents. He's 30. They live in a '50+ only' housing complex and he sneaks in the side door. FML

#7313507
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27226) - you deserved it (3561)

On 01/13/2010 at 1:11am - love - by ilu.xo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His mother, seconds upon meeting me, gave me a hug, smiled at me, and said: "It's so nice to finally meet you! All I ever hear is 'Emma this', and 'Emma that', 'I love Emma!'. He never stops talking about you!" My name's not Emma. FML

#7306926
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41350) - you deserved it (2213)

On 01/12/2010 at 8:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I made a fake MySpace so that I could flirt with my boyfriend and see what he would do. He ended up dumping me for the fake MySpace girl. FML

#7304615
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14199) - you deserved it (45198)

On 01/12/2010 at 7:03pm - love - by BetterThanFake (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend. Looking around, the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman, looking at me and smiling. I worriedly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML

#7295909
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10319) - you deserved it (36779)

On 01/12/2010 at 5:26am - love - by awkward23 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my crush of over a year came over for me to take her on our first date. Today was also the day my drunk parents decided to dance the chicken dance in our front yard, naked. FML

#7278276
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34200) - you deserved it (2820)

On 01/11/2010 at 1:12pm - love - by JK2010 (man) - Israel (Hefa)

Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date, destination unknown. I dressed up, he had a tux on. We went to McDonalds. FML

#7275628
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36248) - you deserved it (5248)

On 01/11/2010 at 8:25am - love - by krisx3ftw (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend asked for me to come to her. Then move my head in close to her and close my eyes. Expecting a sweet and romantic kiss I positioned my lips for my surprise. My surprise wasn't a kiss, instead it was a nice crunchy booger she placed in my mouth with her finger. FML

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She came over to see me one last time. We hugged for minutes and cried; it was a touching moment. Just after she left, I realized my wallet that I had on the table beside us was gone. FML

#7261077
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35319) - you deserved it (4332)

On 01/10/2010 at 4:50pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while playing spin the bottle, my two spins landed on two really pretty girls. The first girl I missed and kissed her chin. The second girl I headbutted and gave a nosebleed. FML

#7258041
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11426) - you deserved it (39004)

On 01/10/2010 at 1:13pm - love - by Olihime (man) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I confessed my love to a guy I've been flirting with for months. He then decided to reject me through a poem on Facebook for all of our friends to read. FML

#7255685
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26761) - you deserved it (3644)

On 01/10/2010 at 9:48am - love - by VAngelique (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after months of hardcore flirting with this incredibly attractive guy, he invited me to hang out. At which point he introduced me to his boyfriend. FML

#7239167
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33596) - you deserved it (6856)

On 01/09/2010 at 4:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I dressed up, went over to my boyfriend and told him he could do anything he wanted. He said nothing and walked outside. I figured he'd come back in shortly, but when I looked out the window a few minutes later, he was building a snowman. FML

#7239048
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28841) - you deserved it (10451)

On 01/09/2010 at 4:20pm - love - by dollybabe (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)



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