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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was texting this cute guy that I like. After a couple of minutes I get a missed call from him, I call back and his girlfriend answers and says "Hi this is his girlfriend, please stop calling him". FML

#6612429
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11733) - you deserved it (26723)

On 12/05/2009 at 3:44am - love - by JennyAndrews (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I found out that just because you're drunk, it doesn't make it okay to call your mother-in-law a fat slag. However, it does make it okay for your wife to knee you in the snow globes. FML

#6599042
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6109) - you deserved it (40472)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:33pm - love - by mainlaw (man) - Ireland (Wexford)

Today, I found out that my father asked my best friend to marry him. He's 38 and we're 18. She said yes. FML

#6593768
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52664) - you deserved it (2749)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her birthday is tomorrow so she sent her new boyfriend to pick up her birthday present. FML

#6591482
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30674) - you deserved it (2331)

On 12/03/2009 at 10:11pm - love - by holla1787 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to a female friend of mine, because I thought they would get along. Apparently they get along better than I expected; she dumped me for the other girl. FML

#6589221
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34300) - you deserved it (3794)

On 12/03/2009 at 8:14pm - love - by Sub (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I called my wife to tell her I finally found a job after 6 months. A man answered the phone claiming to be the cable guy. We cut our cable off when I was laid off 6 months ago. FML

#6584948
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34312) - you deserved it (2135)

On 12/03/2009 at 3:13pm - love - by SatelliteUser (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I posted a note on Facebook about a weird dream I had about my ex-boyfriend, where I made out with him, then it transitioned into a vampires vs. werewolves battle. My ex private messages me and says there's a better chance of a vampires vs. werewolves battle than us ever making out again. FML

#6584536
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9045) - you deserved it (41682)

On 12/03/2009 at 2:34pm - love - by ohiochibi (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I learned my wife wasn't speaking to me because our daughter told her I kissed another woman. My daughter neglected to mention that this happened when she came to work with me yesterday, and the kiss was between me and the dummy I use to teach my interns CPR. My wife doesn't believe me. FML

#6581083
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36461) - you deserved it (2346)

On 12/03/2009 at 6:34am - love - by fmldr (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my very traditional grandmother has decided it's time for me to get married to Kevin. She's called half the town and informed them of the good news. I'm 17. I've never met Kevin. FML

#6580570
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40175) - you deserved it (1915)

On 12/03/2009 at 4:47am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 months has been faking his southern accent. FML

#6575339
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30585) - you deserved it (8247)

On 12/02/2009 at 10:15pm - love - by wooed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I received an e-mail from my stepmom. It was a picture of a boy that she said she thought I might like to know. Next to the picture was the message "he comes from a good military background". My love life is so pathetic that my stepmother feels the need to try and set me up. FML

#6573987
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20951) - you deserved it (4297)

On 12/02/2009 at 9:06pm - love - by kay (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my sister was dumped by her boyfriend. As my mother was comforting her, I overheard her say "Honey, it's okay, you're the pretty one. Think of those worse off than you. Think of your sister, she might never get a boyfriend." FML

#6570014
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47047) - you deserved it (2614)

On 12/02/2009 at 5:27pm - love - by UglySister - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out that the person sending me secret love letters was actually my dad, who felt sorry for me. FML

#6564625
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45644) - you deserved it (3202)

On 12/02/2009 at 3:51am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)



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