Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my girlfriend decided we are ready for the next step in our relationship. Apparently that next step is her taking a dump with the door open. FML

#6540223
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34786) - you deserved it (4473)

On 11/30/2009 at 8:55pm - love - by Cpm (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I posted a picture of my boyfriend and I kissing on facebook. He untagged himself. FML

#6530048
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32318) - you deserved it (17730)

On 11/30/2009 at 7:17am - love - by destiny147 (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I spoke with my boyfriend's crazy ex-girlfriend. Actually, she isn't all that crazy. He really did cheat on her with half a dozen other girls. The same girls he's apparently cheating on me with. How do I know for sure? Thank you crazy ex for his email passwords. FML

#6521538
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41482) - you deserved it (4527)

On 11/29/2009 at 9:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was lying in bed minding my own business when my mom entered the room. I was proposed to a few weeks ago by my boyfriend, and my mom came in to tell me that my boyfriend's mom was on the phone. Turns out, he stole the engagement ring from her drawer. FML

#6517359
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33794) - you deserved it (2822)

On 11/29/2009 at 5:52pm - love - by violet (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, Me and my girlfriend went and saw "The Blind Side." I sobbed throughout the entire movie. My girlfriend didn't shed a tear. FML

#6509087
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25343) - you deserved it (14374)

On 11/29/2009 at 4:33am - love - by jimmyt420 (man) - United States (California)

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend was kind enough to give me prescription strength deodorant. FML

#6505473
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27750) - you deserved it (6972)

On 11/29/2009 at 12:16am - love - by random123 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I felt fairly depressed about being single for the holidays during work. This cute girl came to my register asking about our sales ad. After telling her we had no copies, she asked for my number. I shouted: "Finally, someone wants to go out with me." She wanted the store's number to call. FML

#6497714
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10513) - you deserved it (43361)

On 11/28/2009 at 5:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

#6494130
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59653) - you deserved it (6380)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:32pm - love - by IB6UB9 - United States

Today, I realized that I am dating a 25 year old man-child. He turns 13 whenever he sees my boobs, complete with big eyes and saying "honk honk" whenever he touches them. FML

#6493322
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33375) - you deserved it (9648)

On 11/28/2009 at 11:17am - love - by moon_paw (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I woke up feeling awesome. I turned to face the sunrise in the window, and as I stretched and let out a big yawn. Only for my boyfriend to say "Baby, turn back over. Your breath smells like turds." FML

#6493156
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27387) - you deserved it (9280)

On 11/28/2009 at 10:57am - love - by lol smiley face - United States

Today, I had to look at my positive ebay feedback to feel loved. FML

#6491892
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30583) - you deserved it (5584)

On 11/28/2009 at 7:22am - love - by Anon. (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my boyfriend and I were gazing into each others' eyes in the moonlight after not having seen each other for a week. I thought he was going to say "I love you" and pull me in for a kiss. Instead, he said, "Since you can’t drive, we should get one of those two seater bicycles." FML

#6489348
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22924) - you deserved it (8546)

On 11/28/2009 at 1:32am - love - by tjcl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I invited my crush to come and spend thanksgiving dinner with me and my family, she agreed but asked me if she could bring her friend. Turns out her "friend" was actually her boyfriend and they drank all the expensive wine I bought. FML

#6485720
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27051) - you deserved it (7095)

On 11/27/2009 at 10:02pm - love - by lonelyguy (man) - Puerto Rico



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: