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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I learned my wife wasn't speaking to me because our daughter told her I kissed another woman. My daughter neglected to mention that this happened when she came to work with me yesterday, and the kiss was between me and the dummy I use to teach my interns CPR. My wife doesn't believe me. FML

#6581083
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36409) - you deserved it (2341)

On 12/03/2009 at 6:34am - love - by fmldr (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my very traditional grandmother has decided it's time for me to get married to Kevin. She's called half the town and informed them of the good news. I'm 17. I've never met Kevin. FML

#6580570
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40115) - you deserved it (1912)

On 12/03/2009 at 4:47am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 months has been faking his southern accent. FML

#6575339
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30530) - you deserved it (8239)

On 12/02/2009 at 10:15pm - love - by wooed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I received an e-mail from my stepmom. It was a picture of a boy that she said she thought I might like to know. Next to the picture was the message "he comes from a good military background". My love life is so pathetic that my stepmother feels the need to try and set me up. FML

#6573987
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20892) - you deserved it (4292)

On 12/02/2009 at 9:06pm - love - by kay (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my sister was dumped by her boyfriend. As my mother was comforting her, I overheard her say "Honey, it's okay, you're the pretty one. Think of those worse off than you. Think of your sister, she might never get a boyfriend." FML

#6570014
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46983) - you deserved it (2609)

On 12/02/2009 at 5:27pm - love - by UglySister - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out that the person sending me secret love letters was actually my dad, who felt sorry for me. FML

#6564625
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45282) - you deserved it (3175)

On 12/02/2009 at 3:51am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out that my husband thinks its okay to have an online girlfriend and have naked pictures sent to his email because he's not "physically touching, making love, or kissing". The sad part is that the online girlfriend gets more action than me. FML

#6562992
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34521) - you deserved it (4367)

On 12/02/2009 at 12:57am - love - by j.b. - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I told my long distance girlfriend I will be coming half way across the country to visit here since I have not seen her in a month, I gave her my flight information so she could pick me up at the airport. She responded with "That's when The Office is on, can you take a cab?" FML

#6560085
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31587) - you deserved it (5172)

On 12/01/2009 at 10:18pm - love - by Bostonian (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I cleaned out my husband's drawer. He had kept every love letter I wrote him for the past 7 years. I smiled, struck by how romantic he was. My bliss was short-lived as I realized that he had also kept every single love letter his other lovers wrote him while we were married. FML

#6547469
87 comments

Today, I went on my first date in a long time. We went to see "New Moon." After the girl stole my hat, I grabbed her phone. While trying to get it back, she held a lighter to me, threatening me. Next thing I know my beard is on fire, so not only did I have to sit through horrible acting, I got burnt. FML

#6544765
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31791) - you deserved it (11939)

On 12/01/2009 at 12:00am - love - by toastedguy (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my girlfriend decided we are ready for the next step in our relationship. Apparently that next step is her taking a dump with the door open. FML

#6540223
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34782) - you deserved it (4473)

On 11/30/2009 at 8:55pm - love - by Cpm (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I posted a picture of my boyfriend and I kissing on facebook. He untagged himself. FML

#6530048
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32316) - you deserved it (17730)

On 11/30/2009 at 7:17am - love - by destiny147 (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I spoke with my boyfriend's crazy ex-girlfriend. Actually, she isn't all that crazy. He really did cheat on her with half a dozen other girls. The same girls he's apparently cheating on me with. How do I know for sure? Thank you crazy ex for his email passwords. FML

#6521538
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41483) - you deserved it (4526)

On 11/29/2009 at 9:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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