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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my friends were all sharing sweet things their boyfriends had shared with them. After hearing "he says I look pretty without makeup" or "he promises we'll get married one day", I realized that the only compliment he's given me is that my laughter "sounds like a squirrel having a seizure." FML

#12552157
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31053) - you deserved it (5278)

On 08/16/2010 at 1:03am - love - by 86145 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, right after I turned down an amazing job opportunity in another location, just so I could be with him. FML

#12547774
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31291) - you deserved it (15382)

On 08/15/2010 at 10:15pm - love - by crystalpistol (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my overprotective parents hired a private investigator a month ago, who since then has been watching my perfectly normal boyfriend, in case he "tries to rape or kill" me. We're both 25 years old. FML

#12536265
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40360) - you deserved it (2704)

On 08/15/2010 at 8:52am - love - by wtf - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she is embarrassed of my real brother. FML

#12524990
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39898) - you deserved it (2815)

On 08/14/2010 at 7:23pm - love - by incestastic - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my best friend thought it would look cool if I recorded her swinging while lying under the swing. She ended up kicking me in the face and laughing so hard she pissed on me. FML

#12522582
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36910) - you deserved it (19436)

On 08/14/2010 at 4:43pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I missed my shift at work. I had asked my girlfriend, who works at the same store, to text me my schedule. She sent me the wrong hours for today. I got suspended, and she broke up with me for being too irresponsible. FML

#12522579
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30397) - you deserved it (8032)

On 08/14/2010 at 4:41pm - love - by irresponsible (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend and I made lists of what celebrities we're interested in. The first one she listed wasn't a celebrity - it was my brother. He's spending the weekend with us. FML

#12519731
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31392) - you deserved it (3667)

On 08/14/2010 at 1:37pm - love - by Chad - United States (New York)

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to hack my Facebook and "like" everybody's statuses. This includes my boyfriend's about his grandmother dying. FML

#12498783
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38307) - you deserved it (5812)

On 08/13/2010 at 12:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my husband of 3 years, who I have a 1 year old daughter with, told me he wants a divorce, but who knows, maybe in the future we can "date." FML

#12495310
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37769) - you deserved it (3058)

On 08/13/2010 at 5:11am - love - by starley (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that the guy I like was only coming to my house to get closer to my brother. FML

#12492067
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35893) - you deserved it (3705)

On 08/13/2010 at 1:33am - love - by brother love - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for for his birthday in a couple of days. He replied "to be single" and walked out of the room. FML

#12449914
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40548) - you deserved it (4160)

On 08/11/2010 at 6:40am - love - by gutsforme (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was dumped by my girlfriend due to our long distance relationship. She then agreed to date my best friend who lives in the same town as me. FML

#12447097
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36580) - you deserved it (3269)

On 08/11/2010 at 2:50am - love - by sadface - United States

Today, I had a fancy dinner date with a really hot guy. Near the end of our meal, he asked if I wanted to go back to his place. As soon as we walked in the door, he started a religious debate with his room mate. It's been 45 minutes and its still going. FML

#12443744
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35255) - you deserved it (5262)

On 08/11/2010 at 12:09am - love - by bitchasshonky - Sent from mobile version



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