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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my recently married friend took off her wedding ring to make bread. Being single and pathetic, I tried it on to see what it would look like. It got stuck on my finger. The ER doctor had to cut it off. FML

#14298065
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11746) - you deserved it (49519)

On 12/22/2010 at 1:03pm - love - by lisa (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I looked deep into my wife's eyes and told her how much I loved her and how much she meant to me. Her reply was "Clean your glasses." FML

#14284829
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30853) - you deserved it (4067)

On 12/21/2010 at 12:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my girlfriend's parents offered her a trip to Europe if she dumped me. She accepted, and broke up with me. Her parents were lying. FML

#14271579
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42389) - you deserved it (3698)

On 12/20/2010 at 11:15am - love - by pinkfloyd777 -

Today, I went horseback riding with this guy I like. I asked him to help me get on the horse. I slipped, and while trying to keep my balance, I kicked him in the face. FML

#14267759
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27304) - you deserved it (5470)

On 12/20/2010 at 1:22am - love - by Me -

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't attend her dog's funeral, and was therefore an insensitive bastard. I couldn't attend because my mum has cancer and I was driving her to a hospital appointment. FML

#14263192
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51925) - you deserved it (3241)

On 12/19/2010 at 7:31pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, after a long time convincing my parents that my boyfriend is really a good guy, not only did he decide to come by the house completely drunk, but he also ended up trying to kiss my mom, thinking it was me. FML

#14263039
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29248) - you deserved it (9373)

On 12/19/2010 at 7:20pm - love - by hugme101 (woman) - Canada

Today, I got a call from an ex, demanding to know why my Facebook relationship status was set as married. I got married a few months ago, and I quietly explained this to her. My wife overheard and now thinks I've been cheating all along. FML

#14260456
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36398) - you deserved it (5374)

On 12/19/2010 at 1:51pm - love - by married and hates - United States

Today, I sat in the cafeteria at work and saw a girl, which is a rare sight at my workplace, from the back with a beautifully long ponytail. After a full hour of building up courage to perhaps say hi to her, she turned around. It was a 50-year-old man. FML

#14257746
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15062) - you deserved it (30637)

On 12/19/2010 at 5:28am - love - by lonelyengineer (man) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, my parents finally invited my boyfriend over for dinner. Everything was going great until my mother asked him his profession. He stuffed his mouth full of lasagna, snorted, and then responded, "I clean shit for a living." FML

#14256786
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16066) - you deserved it (24298)

On 12/19/2010 at 2:46am - love - by lovecrisis247 - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom after he had been in there awhile. I found him with his pants down, looking at a pimple on his butt in the mirror. He asked me for "help". FML

#14254950
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29223) - you deserved it (4362)

On 12/19/2010 at 12:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my girlfriend of four years is legally married to a man in prison. He gets out next week. FML

#14254809
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44778) - you deserved it (3730)

On 12/19/2010 at 12:14am - love - by fouryearswasted - United States

Today, trying to be romantic, I started giving my boyfriend a neck massage. He gave me a weirded-out look, removed my hand, called me creep, and wouldn't let me touch him for the rest of the day. FML

#14251219
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30406) - you deserved it (4479)

On 12/18/2010 at 7:14pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend decided that he needed some time alone for a few weeks. This break just so happens to include our one year anniversary, Christmas, New Year's, and my birthday. Now I get to spend the next three weeks alone. FML

#14250583
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36336) - you deserved it (4636)

On 12/18/2010 at 6:10pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)



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