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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, while lying in bed with my wife, I asked her if she still loved me. Her reply "Sometimes". This I know is true because she instantly rolled over and farted on my leg. FML

#6802710
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27577) - you deserved it (4068)

On 12/17/2009 at 10:48pm - love - by yoked (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I found my boyfriend of two years is a wanted man in the state of Texas, and was living under a fake identity for the past three years. What is he wanted for? Rampant identity theft. FML

#6783390
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27993) - you deserved it (2510)

On 12/16/2009 at 8:42pm - love - by Frauded (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after many, many attempts to get her out of my life, the girl that is stalking me told me that she loves me and our love can only be ended by her killing either herself or me. FML

#6781373
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40533) - you deserved it (2156)

On 12/16/2009 at 6:55pm - love - by cheezmaster (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML

#6779540
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26923) - you deserved it (5745)

On 12/16/2009 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that he will never marry me because we are different ethnicities and his parents don't approve. I was of course very upset and crying. His way to comfort me was by saying, "Don't worry, I will always cheat on my wife with you." FML

#6778697
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40131) - you deserved it (3160)

On 12/16/2009 at 2:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, it's the first evening that my husband and I will have without the kids in 8 months. We had been looking forward to it for ages, and my husband had even bought me some lovely new lingerie for the occasion. Guess what? I just got diarrhea. FML

#6776898
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36064) - you deserved it (3337)

On 12/16/2009 at 10:43am - love - by eww657 (woman) - United Kingdom (Bracknell Forest)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years confessed that he was sleeping with me and 5 other girls while we first started dating. He told me he numbered us and rolled a die to see which one he would date. I guess I won. FML

#6775724
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33300) - you deserved it (3338)

On 12/16/2009 at 7:09am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my ex-boyfriend, who I have been trying to get back together with, texted me. He asked me how life was going, he then asked me if I had the naked picture of him saved on my phone. I asked him why. He replied that he wanted to send it to his crush. FML

#6773242
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25730) - you deserved it (4010)

On 12/16/2009 at 1:15am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I called my boyfriend upset because my best friend has begun stripping to pay for school. His response was, "Where and what time does she work?" FML

#6765216
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29474) - you deserved it (7935)

On 12/15/2009 at 4:49pm - love - by notcool (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to a movie with a girl I went to high school with. There was a preview for an upcoming 3D movie. I asked her if she had ever seen a 3D movie before. She told me she couldn't because she is blind in one eye. Apparently it's a "sensitive subject." FML

#6762994
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25780) - you deserved it (4203)

On 12/15/2009 at 9:49am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

#6761205
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16876) - you deserved it (27418)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:32am - love - by Proof-Reader (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was excited when I saw a missed call. It wasn't my ex-boyfriend finally willing to talk, it was the creepy guy I met on the bus in November who I haven't seen since but has written me poetry. FML

#6761067
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19212) - you deserved it (5960)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:10am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was on AIM talking to a really cute guy, whom I've had a crush on for forever, when he asked me to video chat. I got so excited and immediately pressed accept, without thinking. Not until he started screaming and cursing did I realize that I was still using my laptop on the toilet. FML

#6753544
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8840) - you deserved it (57232)

On 12/14/2009 at 6:26pm - love - by toiletgirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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