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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I decided to try something new and sign up for an online dating service, since I can't meet a decent guy in person. The first guy I talked to told me he used to be in a mental hospital for obsessing over a girl, then told me he would be dreaming of me that night. FML

#12807084
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32709) - you deserved it (7637)

On 08/29/2010 at 3:45pm - love - by CreepedOut (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my boyfriend sat me down to reassure me that his competitive, possessive ex-wife will not come between us or ruin our relationship. Mid-conversation, his phone rang. It was her, and he left to answer it. FML

#12804973
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28724) - you deserved it (3672)

On 08/29/2010 at 12:58pm - love - by ForgottenAgain (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend was talking with his friends about how long girls take to get ready (hair, make-up, etc.). I said, "I never spend a long time getting ready..." He then looked at me and said, "maybe you should." FML

#12803211
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30052) - you deserved it (7087)

On 08/29/2010 at 10:14am - love - by ILoveFML - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend of six months broke up with me because of 'creative differences', as she put it. The real reason is that we couldn't decide which cupboard the plates should have gone in. FML

#12797067
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23142) - you deserved it (3977)

On 08/29/2010 at 12:21am - love - by nottelling7012 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, the girl I like sent me a Facebook message telling me how the message I left on her phone was one of the funniest drunk dials she's ever gotten. I'm debating whether or not I should tell her that I don't drink. FML

#12793954
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29875) - you deserved it (3899)

On 08/28/2010 at 9:36pm - love - by 713 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was watching TV when a Dentyne gum commercial came on and stated that the average person spends more than 20,000 minutes kissing. I've spent less than three. FML

#12786707
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32790) - you deserved it (5818)

On 08/28/2010 at 12:19pm - love - by doesntkissalot - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years finally asked me to marry him. He said: We could save taxes if we married.. what do you think? That was the most romantic thing he said to me in the last 2 years. FML

#12768911
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30528) - you deserved it (9444)

On 08/27/2010 at 5:57am - love - by weddinggirl (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend from the top of a bungee jumping platform at an amusement park. I yelled out, "WILL YOU MARRY ME?" from the platform, pointing her out. Turns out, I was pointing at the wrong girl. My girlfriend was very angry and ran away when the wrong girl yelled, "Yes!" FML

#12757529
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34537) - you deserved it (14507)

On 08/26/2010 at 4:06pm - love - by Ido (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realised that every morning my girlfriend gets me to help her put on a locket her ex-boyfriend bought her on Valentine's Day. FML

#12752229
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32911) - you deserved it (4274)

On 08/26/2010 at 5:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, I had to confront my boyfriend after finding a girl's phone number next to my bed. He said I was over reacting. When I told him it was over, he asked for the number back so he could call her. FML

#12748715
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31416) - you deserved it (8636)

On 08/26/2010 at 12:11am - love - by tj - United States

Today, my husband has been out of town for a week. The only text I've got from him was, "I didn't take a poop today." FML

#12748634
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30329) - you deserved it (3633)

On 08/26/2010 at 12:08am - love - by TextsAlot (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend wants to move in with me is so he has better internet connection and won't get kicked off of Xbox live while playing MW2. FML

#12748631
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29178) - you deserved it (5559)

On 08/26/2010 at 12:08am - love - by devigsgirl (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my date and I went to the movies. After the date, we were both on an instant chat room at our homes. Her personal message displayed "I think I love my ex again." FML

#12746191
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28108) - you deserved it (2831)

On 08/25/2010 at 10:09pm - love - by bevo - Australia (New South Wales)



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