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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I took my girlfriend of five and a half years to family dinner at a restaurant. After we all had finished dessert, I got down on one knee, pulled out my great grandmother's ring and proposed. The entire restaurant was dead silent. She looked around and then slowly walked out. FML

#9157665
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71026) - you deserved it (6133)

On 03/17/2010 at 11:38am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my boyfriend of more than two years told me in front of all of our friends that he'd trade me for some Playstation 3 games. I laughed it off because I thought he was kidding. He made it clear that he was serious. FML

#9153191
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32282) - you deserved it (4635)

On 03/17/2010 at 3:05am - love - by Girl (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out why my roommate and best friend comes home late three nights a week. She goes to get drunk with some guy, then goes back to his house to hook up. Who is this guy? The guy I've been dating for three years. FML

#9139236
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34201) - you deserved it (2811)

On 03/16/2010 at 7:17pm - love - by latenightbite - United States

Today, I found out my fiancé is in a long distance relationship with his ex. Not only do we live on the same island, he's also my neighbor and my co-worker. FML

#9134899
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26881) - you deserved it (3033)

On 03/16/2010 at 4:14pm - love - by KMAC (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML

#9134827
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9466) - you deserved it (36898)

On 03/16/2010 at 4:12pm - love - by splitzville (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend since I believed him to be cheating on me with another woman, something he adamantly denied. I went to his house to get all my stuff back. After I left, I discovered a silk thong that definitely did not belong to me, in amongst my clothes. FML

#9132820
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27791) - you deserved it (4143)

On 03/16/2010 at 2:35pm - love - by Busted (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was proposed to in a McDonald's. FML

#9127255
445 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58445) - you deserved it (13608)

On 03/16/2010 at 6:55am - love - by hater -

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend of a year and a half on the beach. Everything was fine until she saw a plane with a banner behind it saying "Cassie, will you marry me?" She said yes. I didn't order a plane. FML

#9122302
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45443) - you deserved it (4071)

On 03/16/2010 at 12:50am - love - by ManInTrouble - United States (California)

Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive". She called me a cow murderer. FML

#9123015
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14127) - you deserved it (37462)

On 03/16/2010 at 12:28am - love - by meatballz (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

#9110965
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41016) - you deserved it (8458)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML

#9104990
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39145) - you deserved it (3851)

On 03/15/2010 at 3:34pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I realised I spend more time and receive more satisfaction talking on the phone with Chinese take away than talking to my wife in person. FML

#9102877
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11203) - you deserved it (20979)

On 03/15/2010 at 1:38pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, I spent three hours getting ready to go out to lunch with my boyfriend, only to find out he meant we're going to the McDonald's inside Wal-Mart so he can also pick up condoms. FML

#9102089
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26868) - you deserved it (9161)

On 03/15/2010 at 12:46pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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