Today, I told my husband that I was going to get a swimsuit from the Victoria's Secret catalog. He replied, "Are you going to get the body to go with it?" FML

by heather / 06/20/2011 at 6:25pm / Canada / Love

Today, I found out my boyfriend uses me for two things. 1) My food. 2) My sister. FML

by Maddie / 06/20/2011 at 4:05pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML

by blondetergent / 06/20/2011 at 4:12am / Singapore / Love

Today, my boyfriend told me he's been having doubts, but he still wants to stay with me. I asked him why he had been so nervous about us and he replied, "I don't know, just thinking about a future with you makes me feel nauseous". We've been together over 2 years now. FML

by MissNoFuture / 06/20/2011 at 3:13am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I received the only love letter I've ever gotten. Too bad it's from the guy who's been stalking me. FML

by Hello / 06/20/2011 at 1:21am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. His reason was because he's moving away for college. That won't be for another year. FML

by youngblood / 06/19/2011 at 9:20pm / United States (Kansas) / Love

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by putting a post-it note on my locker that said "consider yourself dumped". FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2011 at 1:01am / United States (California) / Love

Today, for the first time in my life, a girl has a crush on me. Too bad it's my co-worker's five year old granddaughter. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2011 at 6:00pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, my marriage counselor got divorced. FML

by screwed / 06/18/2011 at 4:51am / United States / Love

Today, my girlfriend bought several packs of bottled water, even though we have pure mountain water on tap. She did this because the pile-up of unwashed dishes in the sink makes it virtually impossible to slide a glass under the tap. FML

by Anonyme / 06/17/2011 at 9:25pm / Switzerland (Fribourg) / Love

Today, I realized that I text my boyfriend more than I see him. He's my next door neighbor. FML

by Emily J. / 06/17/2011 at 8:31pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I was almost done getting ready for a really big date, when I heard my dad call for help from outside. I rushed downstairs and out the door, only to be ambushed and showered by my father with the garden hose. FML

by anonymous / 06/17/2011 at 3:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I woke up to NYPD detectives banging on my door with flashlights, looking for some criminal who used to live in my house. Apparently, when they showed the man's mugshot to my neighbors upstairs, for some reason they identified the man as my husband. FML

by ari / 06/17/2011 at 7:06am / United States / Love