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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML

#7040883
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10190) - you deserved it (49094)

On 12/30/2009 at 7:03pm - love - by BrutallyBlonde (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the instructions on my new IKEA bed made me cry. It includes a picture of a person working alone with a frown crossed out and is replaced by two smiling people working together. I have no one in my life to help me. FML

#7036461
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37149) - you deserved it (4268)

On 12/30/2009 at 2:07pm - love - by hatelife (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized the closest thing I have to guys hitting on me are the ones who ask to be my friend on Call of Duty because I have the word "girl" in my name. FML

#7035210
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24752) - you deserved it (6144)

On 12/30/2009 at 12:47pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my husband left me for one of the college students I was tutoring in Spanish. We have two kids and are expecting a third. He left a note that said he would "stay in touch." FML

#7028465
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40598) - you deserved it (2354)

On 12/30/2009 at 2:03am - love - by Leslie (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I told my mom I was going on a date tonight. She laughed and didn't believe me. When I tried to convince her it was real, she got mad and grounded me for lying. I had to cancel the date. FML

#7014682
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35142) - you deserved it (3279)

On 12/29/2009 at 1:50pm - love - by Grounded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend called me 80 times in 5 minutes. I had previously told him I was with my friends. He left me a voicemail proposing saying he loved me to death and he was crying. We've been dating for a week. FML

#6999302
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38523) - you deserved it (4465)

On 12/28/2009 at 8:21pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was talking to the guy that has been in love with me for two years. He said "There is a shortage of perfect breasts in the world. It would be a shame to lose yours." He then creepily looked at me and said "It's true." Thanks, Princess Bride, for supplying creepers with material. FML

#6998674
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21350) - you deserved it (3964)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:50pm - love - by creeped (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of two years over the phone, I recieved a knock on my door. It was my now ex-girlfriend who came to seek revenge by shooting me in the balls with a paintball gun at about a three foot range. FML

#6994925
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15482) - you deserved it (50538)

On 12/28/2009 at 3:41pm - love - by lovehurts (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, the girl I like was panicking because her car broke down, so I offered her a lift to wherever she needed to be. I drove her to her boyfriend's house. She asked me to drive her home in the morning. FML

#6992183
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28634) - you deserved it (6505)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:17pm - love - by syco (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I asked my husband if he thought I was pretty. He replied "compared to what?" He was serious. FML

#6990469
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26188) - you deserved it (6218)

On 12/28/2009 at 9:00am - love - by For (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I allowed my friend to talk me into going on a date. The guy's truck smelled like formaldehyde - I'm assuming from the snake that he apparently tried to turn into a necklace. FML

#6985807
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22560) - you deserved it (2683)

On 12/28/2009 at 1:26am - love - by KittyNeko (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was messing around with my boyfriend, trying to get him to tell me he loved me more than KISS, his favorite band. He couldn't do it. FML

#6985452
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23111) - you deserved it (10474)

On 12/28/2009 at 1:13am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got a call from a girl I fell madly in love with 8 years ago. She disappeared from my life with no trace. Turns out she just finalized her divorce, has 2 wild kids, packed on 75 lbs, has $25,000 in debt and is taking meds to keep from going crazy. Now she wants me back. FML

#6983877
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33667) - you deserved it (3033)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:03am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)



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