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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, while in the shower with my girlfriend she was going on and on about how she thinks she's fat when she's in perfect shape. With what she said still on my mind, I meant to say "honey, you're so beautiful", but accidentally said "honey, you're so fat". I'll be sleeping alone tonight. FML

#7460932
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13348) - you deserved it (30025)

On 01/20/2010 at 7:23pm - love - by showerpower (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for the fifth time, and all I could say was: "Can I have my parking permit back?" FML

#7451699
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8037) - you deserved it (26866)

On 01/20/2010 at 2:33am - love - by mapollis (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was fired from my job. The reason? My boss didn't feel comfortable paying his son's girlfriend. FML

#7449785
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27012) - you deserved it (3194)

On 01/20/2010 at 12:09am - love - by mysterygurll1234567 (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I went on a third date with a guy, hoping that maybe finally I would get some physical interaction. I did. I got a high five. FML

#7434698
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27507) - you deserved it (6155)

On 01/19/2010 at 9:17am - love - by Sl3vin (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me for six months with my best friend of five years. After asking him what she had that I didn't, he responded with one word - "Boobies." FML

#7432728
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34712) - you deserved it (4070)

On 01/19/2010 at 2:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in one of two hot tubs with my dad at a vacation resort, when 3 good looking guys walked into the pool area. My dad moved to the other hot tub so the guys could hang out in the one I was in. They came outside, passed my hot tub, and went into the one my dad just moved into. FML

#7426309
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28254) - you deserved it (4069)

On 01/18/2010 at 9:06pm - love - by pictureperfect678 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I bought a fake "wedding ring" at Target to play a prank on my parents. They kicked me out, saying my "fiancé" can take care of me now. There is no fiancé, and I just lost my job. FML

#7420544
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10114) - you deserved it (37291)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:12pm - love - by Crissylove10 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife changed her name back to her maiden name. Why? So people would stop asking questions about us. We have been married for 15 years. FML

#7411056
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27446) - you deserved it (2332)

On 01/18/2010 at 12:06am - love - by unloved (man) - United Kingdom (Southend-on-Sea)

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML

#7405426
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9581) - you deserved it (34216)

On 01/17/2010 at 7:57pm - love - by IceMage (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I drove 4 hours to see my girlfriend of a year, as she had asked me to stay with her for a few days. When I arrived she told me she wanted to be friends as she liked someone else, but wanted me to stay the few days so we could work on being friends. FML

#7404884
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29410) - you deserved it (1975)

On 01/17/2010 at 7:30pm - love - by longtrip (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, I realized that the only boy that shows up at my door is the pizza boy. FML

#7399621
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22900) - you deserved it (6542)

On 01/17/2010 at 2:24pm - love - by mapleleafs34 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend, who I've dated for 6 years, is getting engaged to my friend. The very same "friend" who's been encouraging me to break up with her for the past year. FML

#7396804
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33728) - you deserved it (2596)

On 01/17/2010 at 11:22am - love - by anonymous (man) - Austria (Steiermark)

Today, I woke up with a pillow under my t-shirt. Turns out my boyfriend wanted to 'see if I would look hot even when pregnant'. We've been dating for three weeks now. FML

#7394843
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29644) - you deserved it (4652)

On 01/17/2010 at 7:20am - love - by notpregnant (woman) - Italy (Lombardia)



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