Today, during my honeymoon, my wife and I finally went scuba-diving. My nose was too big to fit in the face goggles, so I couldn't go. My wife went without me anyway. FML

by pinocchio / 06/24/2011 at 7:04pm / United States / Love

Today, I got all dressed up to go on a date with a guy. Upon getting to my house to pick me up, he told me he'd forgot to put on mascara, and asked if he could borrow some. FML

by wowohwow / 06/23/2011 at 12:24am / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mother thinks I'm a loser and a scumbag. We haven't even met yet. FML

by arekusa / 06/22/2011 at 11:00pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I decided I was done waiting for my boyfriend to ask me to marry him, so we were cuddling in his bed and I asked him. He asked for a rain check. FML

by brokenbabe / 06/21/2011 at 10:38pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I finally found out who has been sending me hate letters, it's my husband's ex-wife. They've been divorced for 7 years. FML

by nasty_ex / 06/21/2011 at 8:25am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I finally went on a date with my crush. When he kissed me goodnight, it made me think of a dying slug. FML

by anon / 06/21/2011 at 7:52am / United States / Love

Today, the girl I've been dating for several months, and fallen in love with, said "We're just friends, right? My mom thinks I'm leading you on." FML

by played / 06/21/2011 at 1:07am / Norway / Love

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML

by holdengurl18 / 06/21/2011 at 12:46am / China / Love

Today, I met my husband's old high school sweetheart. My mother-in-law introduced me to her as "one of my son's friends." We've been married for over eight years. FML

by minnEmouse / 06/20/2011 at 10:40pm / United States / Love

Today, I told my husband that I was going to get a swimsuit from the Victoria's Secret catalog. He replied, "Are you going to get the body to go with it?" FML

by heather / 06/20/2011 at 6:25pm / Canada / Love

Today, I found out my boyfriend uses me for two things. 1) My food. 2) My sister. FML

by Maddie / 06/20/2011 at 4:05pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML

by blondetergent / 06/20/2011 at 4:12am / Singapore / Love

Today, my boyfriend told me he's been having doubts, but he still wants to stay with me. I asked him why he had been so nervous about us and he replied, "I don't know, just thinking about a future with you makes me feel nauseous". We've been together over 2 years now. FML

by MissNoFuture / 06/20/2011 at 3:13am / United States (California) / Love