Today, I brought my girlfriend over to her first dinner with my family. My gramps spent the entire dinner telling my girlfriend how the Illuminati are plotting to take over the world and use microchips to control everyone. So much for being taken seriously now. FML

by Trey / 11/18/2011 at 8:58pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my girlfriend dumped me. Her exact words used were "I like the idea of you, but I don't like you." I still don't know what that means. FML

by dharp7 / 11/16/2011 at 12:23am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my date threw a fit, burst into tears, and made a huge scene in the middle of a crowded restaurant, all because I offered to pay. FML

by Izamellayella / 11/14/2011 at 8:29pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I introduced my Chinese-born girlfriend to the rest of the family. My uncle immediately blurted out, "He's dating a communist." FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2011 at 12:09am / United States (California) / Love

Today, the guy I've recently started seeing confided that he's relieved I'm on the heavier side, and that he has a thing for watching chubby women eat. I just reached my ideal weight after losing 40 pounds. FML

by notfatanymore / 11/13/2011 at 3:50pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Love

Today, I brought my girlfriend of six months over to meet my family. When my grandpa saw her, he said, "What a waste of good breeding stock." FML

by mandie / 11/13/2011 at 12:10pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love

Today, I sent the texts "I love and miss you babe;)." and "Shit wrong person." to my ex just so he would think I have a life. FML

by random person / 11/13/2011 at 1:16am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I got married. About five minutes after I got my huge wedding dress on, I had to pee. It took three people to help me not pee on my dress, and my bridesmaids took pictures. FML

by summinay / 11/12/2011 at 3:30am / United States (Tennessee) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I tried to break up with my girlfriend because I feel unappreciated. She fell asleep while I was attempting this. FML

by kirrby / 11/12/2011 at 1:41am / United States (Nevada) / Love

Today, my boyfriend gave me a promise ring. It was so sweet and romantic, until he said, "I want to marry you one day. But I want to date some other girls first." FML

by so romantic / 11/12/2011 at 12:06am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my boyfriend of five years was in a bad car crash, and ended up with a concussion. He didn't remember me. At all. But he remembered his other girlfriend he had cheated on me with for two months. FML

by Nicoli / 11/10/2011 at 1:22pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I took my girlfriend out for dinner to a fancy Italian restaurant for our one year anniversary. After giving her some roses, freshly baked cookies, and a thoughtful poem I wrote for her, she started laughing and asked for her real gift. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 3:00pm / Canada / Love