Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our five-year anniversary. I got him a new flat-screen TV. He got me toilet seat cover. FML

#6856764
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28409) - you deserved it (4070)

On 12/20/2009 at 11:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a huge fight. Instead of taking me home like he told me he was going to, he pulled up to the gas station, gave me $6, and asked me to go pay. As soon as I walked inside, he threw my bag out the door, and drove off. FML

Today, I texted my Dad to tell him I'm staying at my boyfriend's house and won't be home. Since I had predictive text on, my phone didn't quite get the word 'home' - the message I sent said, 'I'm staying at Will's, I'll not be good tonight.' FML

#6852058
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12185) - you deserved it (25267)

On 12/20/2009 at 7:26pm - love - by embarrassed (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I asked a girl I liked for her number, but she claimed she had a broken phone and was getting a new one for Christmas. Unhinged, I go home and go onto Facebook. First thing I see is her status: "Why is no one answering my calls?" FML

#6843701
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25000) - you deserved it (3487)

On 12/20/2009 at 7:58am - love - by Surfinbird09 (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was about to propose. I got on my knee in front of my girlfriend and opened the box. My friend thought it would be funny to replace the ring with a condom. FML

#6842155
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43339) - you deserved it (3943)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:14am - love - by Catholicguy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was lying in bed with the worst stomach cramps ever. My boyfriend came, looked at me writhing in pain, and said, "Well at least if it's a tapeworm you'll get skinnier." FML

#6826046
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32463) - you deserved it (3298)

On 12/19/2009 at 10:15am - love - by ouch (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, when my boyfriend and I were becoming intimate, his cat decides to jump onto the bed and lie right in between us. He then informs me that he wanted to stop to "preserve his cat's innocence." FML

#6824662
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25395) - you deserved it (4292)

On 12/19/2009 at 5:18am - love - by Madagascar (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend who I love very deeply dumped me two times, over the phone. The first time was to dump me. She then called me back a couple hours later explicitly to dump our friendship. I was just friend dumped. FML

#6823589
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30576) - you deserved it (2611)

On 12/19/2009 at 2:48am - love - by musicyman55 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I recieved a phone call from a good guy friend of mine, someone I haven't seen for years. He tells me he has "deep" feelings for me, and wants to know since my husband is deployed, if it would be okay if we "dated" because he told his parents I'm his girlfriend. FML

#6821987
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30697) - you deserved it (2367)

On 12/19/2009 at 12:52am - love - by annoyed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I met a girl at the bar. Things were going really well and we ended up going back to her place. Problem? Her husband who normally works the graveyard shift was home sick. FML

#6821281
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22939) - you deserved it (10095)

On 12/19/2009 at 12:13am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I spent hours delicately writing out what seemed to be a beautiful poem to my girlfriend. After I sent it to her, I kept eyeing my phone to see her surprised message. No, my only response was "you may want to use a spellcheck." FML

#6820464
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10958) - you deserved it (22041)

On 12/18/2009 at 11:29pm - love - by Poem (man) - United States (California)

Today, my best friend decided to admit to me that he and my girlfriend have been cheating behind my back for the past two months. The reason he finally admitted it? Because she is now cheating on him with another one of our friends. FML

#6812194
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31339) - you deserved it (2295)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realised that the most kisses I ever get are in text messages from my Dad. FML

#6812092
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23684) - you deserved it (3577)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:26pm - love - by lovesucks (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: