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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my wife accused me of cheating. Why? Because I recently started working out, and according to her, no married man tries to improve his physique unless he's trying to look good for other women. I can't believe I married this neurotic wreck. FML

#21459202
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23621) - you deserved it (4443)

On 08/22/2015 at 5:44am - love - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when I saw my best friend. I jokingly did a double-take and said I didn't recognize him with his clothes on. We laughed, talked a bit, then went our separate ways. My girlfriend later dumped me, claiming I'm blatantly gay and cheating on her. FML

#21459115
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26321) - you deserved it (3773)

On 08/21/2015 at 11:59pm - love - by cuckoo (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went on a date with someone I considered a real catch, my potential soulmate even. He ended up telling me about his fetish for "female smells", sang loudly in Italian in a crowded restaurant, and ate most of the food on my plate. Man, fuck dating. FML

#21458335
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23259) - you deserved it (2444)

On 08/20/2015 at 2:02am - love - by Catsfordays - United States (California)

Today, I found out the girl I met online, who I spent hours talking to every day for the past 2 months, and who I fell in love with is actually my gay roomate. He says if I could fall in love with "her", I can fall in love with him. It doesn't work that way, dickhead. FML

#21457909
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28706) - you deserved it (4418)

On 08/19/2015 at 2:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I am two months pregnant. Being super hormonal, I was crying about how much I was crying. My husband put his arms around me to comfort me, and I sobbed so hard that I threw up all over him. FML

#21457721
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25712) - you deserved it (2937)

On 08/18/2015 at 6:55pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through charades. FML

#21457655
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22444) - you deserved it (5046)

On 08/18/2015 at 4:17pm - love - by I hate games - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was telling my dad how my boyfriend dumped me yesterday. He responded by blowing his nose into his hand, wiping it in my hair, then saying "There, a REAL problem to whine about." FML

#21457532
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24484) - you deserved it (2684)

On 08/18/2015 at 8:34am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend of five years broke up with me, saying I've changed and she can't be with someone who's so emotional all the time. Well I'm so sorry that after two weeks, I'm not quite over my brother's death yet. FML

#21457397
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39384) - you deserved it (1677)

On 08/18/2015 at 12:09am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend dyed her hair from blonde to brunette. An hour later, she found one of her blonde hairs on my pillow, and accused me of cheating. FML

#21457265
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28459) - you deserved it (1926)

On 08/17/2015 at 6:46pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He's smart, attractive, and has a steady job. Imagine my surprise when he accepted. Then imagine my surprise when he followed up with "Hah, just kidding. You're fuckin' BORING!" FML

#21457207
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24841) - you deserved it (2237)

On 08/17/2015 at 3:20pm - love - by ThroatSlasher (woman) - United Kingdom (North East Lincolnshire)

Today, my husband decided he would rather be with his mistress than with me while I gave birth to our first child. FML

#21456262
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29653) - you deserved it (2319)

On 08/15/2015 at 4:22am - love - by MissyPants - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to start using a period tracker app so I can tell him which week of each month he needs to "stay the hell away" from me. FML

#21455940
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22466) - you deserved it (3763)

On 08/14/2015 at 9:19am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I got told that I was going to hell for turning down a man that was at least in his 60s. Even after I told him I was married. FML

#21455672
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23440) - you deserved it (1550)

On 08/13/2015 at 5:33pm - love - by hnnhyoo (woman) - United States (California)



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