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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I tried kissing my boyfriend on the tip of his nose. He sneezed mid-kiss and head butted me. Now there is just an awkward silence. FML

#21270556
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32580) - you deserved it (3856)

On 10/04/2014 at 8:11am - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my best friend, who I've been in love with for nearly a decade, asked me to help him set up an online dating profile. During our 4-hour conversation, as he waded through the profiles, he complained that it was impossible for him to find a girl to have a meaningful conversation with. FML

#21269205
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38477) - you deserved it (5524)

On 10/01/2014 at 9:33pm - love - by EosThorn (woman) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, I found out that when I asked my buddy to make sure my girlfriend was safe while I was abroad, he really did; he even used a condom. FML

#21268339
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43194) - you deserved it (3970)

On 09/30/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, same as every other night, I sat in my car outside my home, just to avoid going inside. I live alone. FML

Today, I waited for over an hour in a park for a date who didn't show up. I finally left because someone came up to me and accused me of creeping on their kids. FML

#21267321
64 comments

Today, I'm on the last day of my honeymoon in Ireland. My wife and I have an amazing hotel room and a huge bed. She's passed out drunk and if I even touch her, she needs the bucket next to our bed. So much for finishing our week on a "fun" note. FML

#21267195
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (521) - you deserved it (4364)

On 09/28/2014 at 6:55pm - love - by superman21 - Ireland

Today, I realized the sweet, sensitive girl I was talking to on a dating site was actually my brother trolling me for fun. FML

#21266998
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39167) - you deserved it (5261)

On 09/28/2014 at 1:12pm - love - by jquaw - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him. When I happily told my dad, he kept asking if I'd consider taking back my ex. FML

#21266215
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36226) - you deserved it (3044)

On 09/27/2014 at 4:16am - love - by nyx (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the day before my wife and I leave for our 1 year anniversary trip, I realized my passport expires in 2014, not 2015. Instead of a week's stay at an all-inclusive resort in the Dominican Republic, we'll be spending three days in Louisville. Three angry days in Louisville. FML

#21266059
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30046) - you deserved it (18028)

On 09/26/2014 at 10:23pm - love - by dumass - United States (Ohio)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend, only for her to slap me, throwing the "fake ring" away and storming off, convinced it was a cruel joke. FML

#21265921
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37135) - you deserved it (3078)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I heard my boyfriend talking with my father in the backyard. I thought he was asking for my hand in marriage. He was actually telling him about his plans to break up with me. FML

#21265851
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35724) - you deserved it (3308)

On 09/26/2014 at 3:13pm - love - by ihateguys (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up. He greeted me with a winning smile, a belch, and the words, "Nice tits." I'm beginning to lose hope. FML

#21265612
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34134) - you deserved it (3211)

On 09/26/2014 at 2:56am - love - by bri_sci94 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, as I was opening the door for my boyfriend, I pressed my boobs against the glass to make him laugh. I didn't see his dad standing just behind him at first, but he certainly saw me. FML

#21265100
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30670) - you deserved it (9293)

On 09/25/2014 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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