Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, after two years, my girlfriend finally got over her intimacy and commitment problems, with a guy she met over the summer. FML

#21310086
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33451) - you deserved it (2719)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:59pm - love - by Summer Loving Happened So Fast - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I received a package from my deployed husband. It contained a scarf, a letter, and a bag full of his pubes. FML

#21310077
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31760) - you deserved it (3515)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got broken up with. In a text message. She texted my grandma, who then had to forward said text to me. I got broken up via grandma. FML

#21310030
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38443) - you deserved it (2641)

On 12/02/2014 at 10:42am - love - by braceforcarnage (man) - United States

Today, I met an American guy at a bar. I felt flattered when he said, "You know what they say about Swedish girls, all so beautiful." After a pause, he filled in with, "What the fuck happened to you?" FML

Today, it's either be alone and miserable, or go on shitty dates and be miserable. I have no other options. FML

Today, I got friendzoned by three different women. Each girl suggested I should ask out one of the other two women who also friendzoned me. FML

#21309350
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32020) - you deserved it (9150)

On 12/01/2014 at 9:37am - love - by foreveralone (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband shaved off his beard. Turns out he looks like my ex. FML

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father for permission to take his daughter's hand in marriage. He asked me "Which one?" I said "Uh, the one I'm dating... Lisa." He belched and said, "Yeah sure, throw 'er off a cliff for all I care. Piss off, boy." So much for chivalry. FML

#21308242
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33413) - you deserved it (3029)

On 11/29/2014 at 4:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I thought it would be cute to put on a Santa hat and ask my crush what he wanted for Christmas. He said "A girlfriend." I took off my Santa hat and yelled "Ta-da!" He added, "An ATTRACTIVE girlfriend." FML

#21308095
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40103) - you deserved it (5164)

On 11/29/2014 at 11:28am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I farted while asking a girl out to dinner. FML

#21306727
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31397) - you deserved it (6504)

On 11/27/2014 at 10:13am - love - by fart - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to end a first date with the words, "You can get out of my car and go upstairs yourself, or I can come around and drag you out, bring you up the stairs, and knock on your door," because he'd gotten completely plastered in a span of about three hours. And yes, I had to drag him. FML

Today, what few friends I have won't talk to me anymore. My ex told them she dumped me because I abused her. I never abused her. What really happened is that she dumped me in a rage after I refused to give her money for drugs. Nobody's even asked for my side of the story. FML

#21306153
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36310) - you deserved it (2278)

On 11/26/2014 at 11:42am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I decided to check out a dating site, when I stumbled across my ex wife's profile. She'd had it for four out of the five years of our marriage. And no, it didn't rate us as a good match. FML

#21305183
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30928) - you deserved it (3253)

On 11/24/2014 at 1:47pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: