Today, after dating my girlfriend for a while, I had a realization. She often says things like, "You're my favorite!" and scratches my beard, which I appreciated affectionately. Upon meeting her pets, it dawned on me that I am just another one of her cats. FML

by Jack / 01/09/2016 at 9:07pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love

Today, I spent nearly an hour trying to take a decent photo for my dating site profile. Not 20 minutes after uploading it, I got a message saying "Srsly dude stop trying, u look like Rosie O'Donnell." FML

by Anonymous / 01/09/2016 at 12:38am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I played charades with my girlfriend and her family. When it was her turn to act out a phrase, she simply walked to the center of the room and pointed to herself and then at me. It took less than 5 seconds for someone to correctly guess "Beauty and the Beast". FML

by fuglymug / 01/08/2016 at 4:48pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I now accept how stupid I was to marry a man whose plans for the future all start with "When I win the lottery..." FML

by Anonymous / 01/08/2016 at 12:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I tried asking a guy I like on a date. He turned me down, saying that I "seem like a nice person and all", but after seeing those reality shows on truTV, he "would rather not date a Russian. No offense, though." FML

by vanilla_blossom / 01/05/2016 at 1:49pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, this beautiful girl that I've known for a long time told me that she just can't date me anymore because I remind her too much of her cat. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2016 at 10:14am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, my boyfriend was so drunk at a New Years party that he approached me and asked me who I was. FML

by anon / 01/02/2016 at 10:57am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I celebrated my 4-year anniversary with my girlfriend. We didn't have sex and we didn't even kiss. All I got to do was cuddle the stuffed Minion she got me for Christmas. FML

by no love / 01/01/2016 at 5:41pm / United States / Love

Today, I was talking to myself in the bathroom to remind myself of what chores I need to do. My husband overheard me and is now convinced that I was on the phone with someone. No amount of proof, logic or reasoning can convince him that I'm not cheating on him. FML

by ardea_alba / 01/01/2016 at 3:27pm / Russian Federation (Sverdlovsk) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend furiously bitched me out because I got more upset about my phone screen cracking than when she told me about the death of her cat. We hadn't even met when her cat died. Did she expect me to burst into tears from hearing the story? Guess who's single again! FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2016 at 5:33am / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, my girlfriend let me stay over at her house for the first time. I went into her room only to find out she's obsessed with the Joker and has a bunch of posters and toys of him. I am deathly afraid of clowns. FML

by ScaredOfClowns / 12/31/2015 at 11:40am / United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove) / Love

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after I told her that I'd never watched The Lion King. FML

by hakuna_matata / 12/30/2015 at 9:41pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I found out my wife has been taking "love thy neighbour" very literally with the bloke next door. FML

by Anonymous / 12/29/2015 at 9:15am / Love