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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was at a party with a few of my friends. We saw a guy walking around with bright pink lipstick all over his mouth, so we made a bet to see who could match the lipstick to the girl first. I won. It was my girlfriend's. FML

#20953788
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52090) - you deserved it (3465)

On 11/11/2013 at 10:55am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, after doing vigorous chores all day with my girlfriend, her mom came and paid us each $100. My girlfriend cried and threw a fit because she said they were her chores, so she deserves all the money. FML

#20952303
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44628) - you deserved it (3965)

On 11/10/2013 at 3:03am - love - by Go away - United States (Iowa)

Today, I went on what I thought was a date. After a wonderful night with a perfect gentleman, he told me how excited he is that he's moving in with his girlfriend next week, and thanked me for reassuring him that he doesn't want anyone but her. FML

#20950992
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46912) - you deserved it (2872)

On 11/09/2013 at 12:17am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a text message consisting solely of emoticons. FML

#20950012
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42205) - you deserved it (3917)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:30am - love - by probablydodgedabullet - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the guy I really like asked me if I'd like to go to a hockey game this weekend. I said I'd love to go, so he said, "Then you'd best get a ticket soon before they sell out." I still don't know if I have a date or not. FML

#20947685
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41132) - you deserved it (3445)

On 11/06/2013 at 12:29pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I discovered that the guy I've been seeing is a firm supporter of the Westboro Baptist Church. FML

#20947273
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51690) - you deserved it (6482)

On 11/06/2013 at 12:06am - love - by maddie - United States (Texas)

Today, I had planned to break up with my overbearing girlfriend. She went into complete denial mode, bought me a pair of oversized sunglasses and tomorrow we're going ice-skating. Kill me now. FML

#20947052
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39334) - you deserved it (9569)

On 11/05/2013 at 9:53pm - love - by Trapped. (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finally worked up enough courage to ask out the guy I've had a crush on for months. I texted him, and he thought I was Maddy from work, not Maddie his neighbor. Now he and the Maddy from his work are dating. FML

#20945397
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48085) - you deserved it (4642)

On 11/04/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by :/ (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had the pleasure of driving in central London for the first time, to recover my drunk husband from his own brilliance, puking on the feet of Winston Churchill's statue in Parliament Square. At 4 am. FML

#20944193
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35448) - you deserved it (3095)

On 11/03/2013 at 5:53pm - love - by I am not amused! (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I told my girlfriend I loved her. She left and never came back. FML

#20943458
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48688) - you deserved it (5060)

On 11/03/2013 at 4:57am - love - by Whatswrongwithme? (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I got knocked over at the park by a rampant dog. My fiancé stood by laughing his ass off as I repeatedly tried to stand up, only to be knocked back down again. I'm seven months pregnant. FML

#20943386
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62858) - you deserved it (3791)

On 11/03/2013 at 2:21am - love - by StrandedWhale (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up to a brand new password on my phone that only my wife knows. Apparently, she thinks I've been looking at my phone more than I've been talking to her lately. FML

#20942179
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23674) - you deserved it (41213)

On 11/02/2013 at 2:27am - love - by LockedOut (man) - United States

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend, feeling pretty low. I said something along the lines of "You like me even when I look like shit." He replied, "Ah, that's just how you naturally look." FML

#20942129
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37350) - you deserved it (5890)

On 11/02/2013 at 1:06am - love - by lucy_g (woman) - United States



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