Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, I enjoyed the soft caressing touch of the person I'm attracted to. It would have been even better if he weren't simply stroking my arm hair in amazement at its superior length and density. FML

#21313670
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30787) - you deserved it (4679)

On 12/08/2014 at 9:12am - love - by lovethateuropeanblood (woman) - Japan (Osaka)

Today, while clearing stuff out of the basement, I found my ex-wife's old electronic diary device from the '90s. I found the charger, powered it up, and had soon read all about out she'd been cheating on me for almost half our marriage with the guy she's now married to. FML

#21313160
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38502) - you deserved it (3272)

On 12/07/2014 at 2:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Galway)

Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams. She was so excited that she had a severe asthma attack and ended up in hospital. Her answer was yes, but her parents won't let me anywhere near her now. They say I'm lucky they haven't sued me for "trying to kill her". FML

#21312768
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40060) - you deserved it (2261)

On 12/06/2014 at 7:56pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out why my wife has been cold and distant lately. She went to a psycho fraudster - sorry, I mean "psychic medium" - who said I'm lusting after other women and am thinking about leaving her. She actually believed him. Now I'm considering leaving her for real. Well played, I guess. FML

#21312671
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31677) - you deserved it (2982)

On 12/06/2014 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium

Today, I went to dinner at my parents' house. I was going to surprise them by introducing them to my new boyfriend. They decided to surprise me too, by inviting my ex to the dinner. Everyone was surprised tonight. FML

#21312253
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34949) - you deserved it (2484)

On 12/05/2014 at 10:35pm - love - by Michelle - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house to break up with him. When I got there, I got sent on a scavenger hunt that ended with him proposing to me. FML

#21312092
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36706) - you deserved it (5975)

On 12/05/2014 at 4:13pm - love - by hh - United States (South Dakota)

Today, my neighbor showed me footage of my 7-year-old son spraying his beloved rose garden with weed killer. The whole garden is dead as fuck, and I'm now being taken to small claims court. FML

#21311905
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32306) - you deserved it (6964)

On 12/05/2014 at 8:44am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Being a chef of a highly-rated restaurant, I cooked a well-liked dish. Not only did she say no, but commented on how bland and tasteless the meal was. FML

#21311702
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35319) - you deserved it (3048)

On 12/04/2014 at 10:33pm - love - by Sad Chef ;( - United States

Today, my boyfriend brought me to a restaurant on a surprise date. I guess he didn't know that my ex-boyfriend now works there, and that he would be our waiter for the evening. FML

#21311019
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31904) - you deserved it (3013)

On 12/03/2014 at 9:49pm - love - by maddieex - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized that although I'm dating the most loveable, caring and genuine man, the fact that he's a crack addict means I'll never be his drug of choice when he needs a hit. FML

#21310760
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27517) - you deserved it (19398)

On 12/03/2014 at 1:34pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after two years, my girlfriend finally got over her intimacy and commitment problems, with a guy she met over the summer. FML

#21310086
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33429) - you deserved it (2716)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:59pm - love - by Summer Loving Happened So Fast - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I received a package from my deployed husband. It contained a scarf, a letter, and a bag full of his pubes. FML

#21310077
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31736) - you deserved it (3514)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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