Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML

by Anonymous / 12/23/2015 at 6:26pm / Love

Today, I was bitched out by my shrew of a mother for getting engaged, to a man. She's not homophobic, but rather pissed off because gay marriage is "trendy" and she wants me to be "above that nonsense". Hurray for love. FML

by Anonymous / 12/23/2015 at 4:06am / United States (California) / Love

Today, it's been a week since I flew down to stay with my long distance boyfriend. We went on long walks on the shore, under the stars, and had an unforgettable picnic viewing the sunset. I just now received a message of screenshots displaying him attempting to hook up with another girl. FML

by Nothing Special / 12/23/2015 at 1:54am / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I wanted my boyfriend to meet my parents. My mum introduced herself as, "I'm Petra. I'm completely normal." FML

by AustrianCow / 12/22/2015 at 4:45pm / Austria (Oberosterreich) / Love

Today, my boyfriend dumped me during what was supposed to be a romantic getaway at a remote log cabin. FML

by pabj208 / 12/22/2015 at 11:53am / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I went to meet a guy that i had already started to be involved with at a bar. We laughed, kissed and had a great time, until he admitted he was just doing all of this to make his ex-girlfriend jealous. Guess who was waiting for me outside. FML

by ThankYou! / 12/22/2015 at 12:50am / Canada (Manitoba) / Love

Today, I learned that my girlfriend takes creepshots of me sleeping, and my mom likes them on her Instagram. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2015 at 9:56am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I had fallen asleep in the back of a friend's car on the way home from a night out. When I woke up, they were in the middle of a full-on make out session. I had to pretend to be asleep for 20 minutes until they decided to "wake me up". FML

by mikmak / 12/20/2015 at 8:26am / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I took a nap on the couch. Apparently, my wife decided to put makeup all over my face as I slept. She didn't tell me until after I went to the gas station to grab some beer. Looks like I will have to find a new place to buy beer from now on. FML

by Sleeping Beauty / 12/19/2015 at 2:20pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I complained about period cramps. My boyfriend said periods can't be that bad since "girls must orgasm every time they put a tampon in." FML

by periods / 12/18/2015 at 11:37am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I finished polishing a song I was working on for my girlfriend. The next words out of her mouth when we next spoke: "I want to break up." FML

by HobblinGoblin / 12/18/2015 at 1:34am / United States (California) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was hanging out with a guy for the second time, and he was helping me buy a Christmas present for my dad. I excused myself to go to the bathroom, and when I came out, he was gone. He left me alone and took my dad's present with him. FML

by cjbutterfly96 / 12/17/2015 at 10:54am / United States / Love

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. At the right moment, I got down on one knee. As I was reaching into my pocket to get the ring, she got so freaked out she kicked me in the face. I chipped a tooth and the ring flew off, and now I can't find it. FML

by sothatsano / 12/16/2015 at 3:56am / United States (Washington) / Love