Today, after weeks of eating in the same restaurant, I finally worked up the nerve to ask the super-cute cashier for her phone number. "Aw, how cute. Do you have an older brother?" FML

by CaptMacLeod / 01/26/2016 at 4:18am / United States (California) / Love

Today, after months of all my friends telling me that the guy whom I was in love with most definitely held feelings for me, I was finally convinced by their words, and with confidence I went and confessed my feelings to him. I was rejected. FML

by UniGrad2019 / 01/25/2016 at 11:54pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, just 1 month after giving me a bracelet with an infinity symbol on it for Christmas, my boyfriend of three years ended everything out of the blue. That was a short infinity. FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2016 at 7:08pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, after the topic of grandkids came up yet again, my fiancé confessed that we've been having trouble conceiving. Later, I overheard his mum telling him to take my engagement ring back to the store and get a refund, because apparently I'm not worth marrying if I can't give him kids. FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2016 at 4:21am / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Love

Today, my boyfriend picked his nose and tried to stick his booger up my nose, claiming that it was time to plant his "seed." FML

by anonymous / 01/22/2016 at 8:56pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I accidentally stood up my first date ever. How? I spent all of last night cleaning my parents' house for extra spending money to make sure the date went perfect, but I ended up sleeping through the alarm as well. FML

by OhNo / 01/22/2016 at 4:28pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my girlfriend read an FML by some guy about fight he had with his nutjob of a girlfriend. It was so bizarrely similar to a fight we had recently that she accused me of not having any balls and bitching about her to strangers. It wasn't even my story. FML

by believe me now?? / 01/22/2016 at 3:55pm / United Kingdom (Derbyshire) / Love

Today, my shitburglar of an ex asked me to take him back. He said dumping me was a huge mistake. He dumped me because I was bed-ridden for several weeks and was in no condition to have sex. If his social media is anything to go by, he only wants me back because he couldn't get laid elsewhere. FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2016 at 2:31pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love

Today, my eldest daughter announced she was getting divorced. She never even told me she was married. FML

by Kimel / 01/21/2016 at 7:11pm / France (Franche-Comte) / Love

Today, my sick semi-delusional boyfriend, whom I've been taking care of for days, accused me of trying to poison him so that I could play World of Warcraft. FML

by Septy / 01/21/2016 at 1:17pm / Spain (Andalucia) / Love

Today, while I was taking a shower, my boyfriend came into the bathroom to ask me a question. When I got out of the shower, I was greeted with a horrifying cutout of Michael Jackson. I fell backwards, shattering the glass shower door. I needed stitches. FML

by Shy_Shiloh / 01/21/2016 at 3:58am / United States (Ohio) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I told my boyfriend he's the only good thing left in my life. That's not a healthy relationship dynamic, he said, and ended up breaking up with me. FML

by brokenhearted / 01/19/2016 at 9:59am / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Love

Today, I found out my fiancée has been sleeping with the salesman I bought her engagement ring from. He knew. FML

by FML / 01/19/2016 at 1:41am / United States / Love