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Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I jokingly said, "Remind me never to have sex with you". She replied, "Don't worry, I have standards". FML

#21353290
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26784) - you deserved it (17889)

On 02/10/2015 at 9:51am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my girlfriend was feeling a little down, so I tried to console her. She said she just needed space and I respected that. Then an hour later she was fine, so I asked how she did it. She replied that she talked to her ex for a whole hour. This is a common procedure. FML

#21353256
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36129) - you deserved it (4366)

On 02/10/2015 at 7:59am - love - by krh14 - United States (Maryland)

Today, my date bumped into her ex-husband, who decided to join us for the rest of the dinner. FML

#21352274
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33173) - you deserved it (2385)

On 02/08/2015 at 7:19pm - love - by jimmy_poison - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend made me breakfast in bed, then we went out shopping, had a picnic, watched a good romcom, had a fancy dinner, and ended the day with great sex. And when the clock struck twelve, he dumped me. FML

#21351571
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44817) - you deserved it (3114)

On 02/07/2015 at 4:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend tried to justify having a one night stand with some other guy, with the words, "I'm on my period, okay?!" She acted like I was crazy when I asked how the fuck that made any sense. FML

#21350975
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32598) - you deserved it (2105)

On 02/06/2015 at 3:10pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend told her parents that she's pregnant. We have never even come close to having sex, but she told them I'm the father. Not only is my girlfriend cheating on me, but her father now wants me dead. FML

#21350891
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37792) - you deserved it (2879)

On 02/06/2015 at 11:56am - love - by that guy - United States (California)

Today, the guy I've been seeing for a few months told me he couldn't stay overnight because his mom would yell at him for not coming home. We're both 30 and I didn't know he still lived at home. FML

#21350278
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31025) - you deserved it (3593)

On 02/05/2015 at 11:42am - love - by thenewgirl29 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got a wedgie after a workout class. As I was walking, I used my gym bag to discreetly unwedgie it, and then turned around to check that no one was there. The cute guy that I had a crush on last year was right behind me, and by the look on his face, it wasn't discreet. FML

#21349857
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27470) - you deserved it (5184)

On 02/04/2015 at 7:00pm - love - by nooo - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my fiancée told me about her new diet. Apparently, she is only going to drink water and tan in a tanning bed so she can photosynthesise. She thinks this will help her lose weight, since she doesn't have to eat anything. I'm dating a dumbass. FML

Today, my boyfriend of 5 days proposed to me at the mall. FML

#21349612
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39258) - you deserved it (3937)

On 02/04/2015 at 11:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands

Today, somebody poured a cup of coffee down the back of my shirt. When I turned around, I saw a man who said, "You looked like my ex from behind!" and ran off. FML

#21349054
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32723) - you deserved it (1677)

On 02/03/2015 at 2:03pm - love - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML

#21349028
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34534) - you deserved it (2339)

On 02/03/2015 at 1:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked massage. She straddled my back and started rubbing, then she sneezed and peed on me. FML

#21348755
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40536) - you deserved it (4191)

On 02/02/2015 at 11:36pm - love - by bootyislife - United States (Washington)



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