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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I had to arrest my own boyfriend for public sex. FML

#21399557
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40472) - you deserved it (3099)

On 04/25/2015 at 4:05pm - love - by RBergman - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "God" told her to. I guess "God" didn't have any problems with me buying dinner first. FML

#21399506
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30172) - you deserved it (2650)

On 04/25/2015 at 1:55pm - love - by wil - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML

#21399378
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32614) - you deserved it (2793)

On 04/25/2015 at 6:34am - love - by a critically injured shitehawk (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she'd leave me for her ex in a heartbeat. Tomorrow is, or should I say "was", our wedding day. FML

#21399347
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36120) - you deserved it (2213)

On 04/25/2015 at 3:57am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, a cute, new guy I always run into at work hit on me. Turns out he's only 18. I'm old enough to be his mom. FML

#21399135
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28029) - you deserved it (3750)

On 04/24/2015 at 5:46pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my husband admitted that he's been spying on me for the last 5 years to see if I was cheating, out of paranoia brought on by his own cheating for all 5 of those years. FML

#21398951
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31579) - you deserved it (1836)

On 04/24/2015 at 10:12am - love - by LolaBell (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my nurse girlfriend told me she's more attracted to the veins in my arm than any other part of me. FML

#21397356
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29296) - you deserved it (3549)

On 04/21/2015 at 9:48am - love - by veiny - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I received several pairs of panties in the mail that I'd ordered online. When I opened the box, I was shocked because every pair was basically huge granny-panties. I was sure none would fit properly, but I tried them on to be sure. They fit perfectly. FML

#21396824
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28021) - you deserved it (6864)

On 04/20/2015 at 1:01pm - love - by fatass - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I pulled up to a red light. My ex was in the next car, and my car's windows are so tinted that you can't see through them, so I flipped him off. I was driving my mom's car. FML

#21396485
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14054) - you deserved it (27011)

On 04/19/2015 at 9:39pm - love - by queenbitch - United States (Michigan)

Today, my grandma told me point-blank that she despises gays, but that she'll go to my wedding for the booze and nothing more. FML

#21396211
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32838) - you deserved it (4785)

On 04/19/2015 at 12:34pm - love - by leonuniz (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend with a serenade. After I finished, she told me she'd come over to tell me she'd found someone else and wanted to break up. FML

#21395896
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31383) - you deserved it (3183)

On 04/18/2015 at 9:03pm - love - by socialix - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I went on a date with a girl I like. Afterwards, I drove her home, and we just sat there awkwardly. I thought she wanted to kiss me but was nervous, so I jokingly said "What're you waiting for? Christmas?" I guess she took that as a "Get the hell out", because she broke into tears and left. FML

#21395685
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22807) - you deserved it (30413)

On 04/18/2015 at 10:38am - love - by fuck (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my fiancé freaked when he noticed the tattoo on my wrist, and demanded to know when I got it. It was two years before we even started dating. FML

#21395494
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28244) - you deserved it (2196)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:12pm - love - by pandapantsMD (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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