Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my blind date tried to sell me a vacuum. I bought it. FML

Today, my husband jokingly said to me, "I think you love Captain Kirk more than me." Without thinking, I said in a serious tone, "I think I do, too." FML

#21482245
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17777) - you deserved it (7493)

On 10/20/2015 at 3:45pm - love - by trekkiewife (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

#21482104
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24836) - you deserved it (10884)

On 10/20/2015 at 6:13am - love - by bubblewrap (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML

#21482098
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23233) - you deserved it (3366)

On 10/20/2015 at 5:44am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my life became a lot more depressing. A while ago, some friends and I founded a "Forever Alone" club, because all of us were single at that time. I'm now the only member left. FML

#21481449
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24627) - you deserved it (2852)

On 10/18/2015 at 1:06pm - love - by Lena (woman) - Germany

Today, I walked from my friend's wedding to my divorce. FML

#21481211
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27617) - you deserved it (2054)

On 10/17/2015 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I finally found out why my new co-worker has been shooting me dirty looks, being rude to me, and generally trying to avoid me. It's because I have blonde hair and blue eyes, and she thinks people like me are Nazis. FML

#21481034
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26278) - you deserved it (1607)

On 10/17/2015 at 8:29am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I spent two hours researching ways to fake my death, just so I can escape my crazy, overbearing stalker of a mum. FML

#21481003
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23030) - you deserved it (2716)

On 10/17/2015 at 4:17am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend of two years told me that he sees no future with me. It's alright though, because he says we can still "coast along" until he meets someone else. FML

#21480863
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25052) - you deserved it (1914)

On 10/16/2015 at 7:08pm - love - by screwyouchris - United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove)

Today, I laughed about a fold in my girlfriend's jeans that felt like she had a tiny boner. She started crying. Turns out she has a slight deformity. Oops. Explains why we've been taking it so slow. FML

#21480670
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27939) - you deserved it (7399)

On 10/16/2015 at 4:39am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my husband finally admitted that he squandered the last three months of my share of the rent on booze. He then blamed me, demanded more money, asked for a divorce, and stormed out. When he returned he asked, "How am I the bad guy?" FML

#21480543
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26756) - you deserved it (2098)

On 10/15/2015 at 8:57pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She slapped me in the face, stormed out and won't answer my calls. What the hell? FML

#21480429
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27599) - you deserved it (2384)

On 10/15/2015 at 3:30pm - love - by what did I do? (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally got the courage to leave my controlling and manipulative ex. He took it well. And by "took it well", I mean he camped out my doorstep, held some of my belongings hostage, and tried to blackmail me into staying with him. FML

#21480404
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24680) - you deserved it (1711)

On 10/15/2015 at 2:19pm - love - by badtasteinmen - United States (Oregon)



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