Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML

#21252521
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41202) - you deserved it (3688)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:11pm - love - by apparentlybutch (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend was about to sneeze. To avoid getting his new tablet wet, he chose to sneeze right into my face instead. FML

#21252384
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33826) - you deserved it (3149)

On 09/05/2014 at 12:17pm - love - by anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

#21250887
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43817) - you deserved it (5295)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by very punny (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42955) - you deserved it (8646)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went out with my best friend to McDonald's for a late night snack. Turns out she lied to me and just used me to pick up the boy she likes so they could go stargazing. I'm now laying beside them as they look at the stars and make out. I just want fries. FML

#21249351
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45087) - you deserved it (4740)

On 08/31/2014 at 10:55pm - love - by emilyparker - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML

#21247445
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35746) - you deserved it (4697)

On 08/28/2014 at 9:47pm - love - by ch4nny (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

#21247229
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38330) - you deserved it (2810)

On 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm - love - by wowzer (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML

#21246884
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44294) - you deserved it (5434)

On 08/28/2014 at 12:34am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a conversation about the lack of communication in our relationship. I told him that sometimes I feel like he doesn't really care about me at all. If he did, he would listen more. His response? "I know your name, don't I?" FML

#21246190
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37017) - you deserved it (4921)

On 08/27/2014 at 12:56am - love - by Iamthatgirl (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

#21245365
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34041) - you deserved it (4103)

On 08/25/2014 at 9:03pm - love - by byebyeromance (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that the reason my boyfriend hasn't texted me recently is that he'd forgotten he was dating anyone. FML

#21244761
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41636) - you deserved it (4700)

On 08/24/2014 at 11:27pm - love - by angry girlfriend - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to come over to her place. I thought she was in the mood for sex. Nope, she just wanted me to come over and hang a shelf, after which she sent me back home. FML

#21244207
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39363) - you deserved it (5874)

On 08/24/2014 at 1:51am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't really take flute lessons after all. In related news, every time my best friend supposedly drives her to flute lessons, he's actually taking her to his house for a different kind of activity. FML

#21243834
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50370) - you deserved it (6007)

On 08/23/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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