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Man or woman?

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

#21260355
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41266) - you deserved it (4340)

On 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by HappilyNeverAfter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my wife named our son after her ex-lover. FML

#21260166
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38574) - you deserved it (2872)

On 09/17/2014 at 6:10pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend admitted that she "probably wasn't even sober" when I asked her out and she said yes. Our almost 2-year relationship is the longest drunken mistake ever. FML

#21260142
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33170) - you deserved it (2808)

On 09/17/2014 at 5:22pm - love - by KayEffEh (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend. He said it was because he lived 2 hours away, but I think the ultrasound photos his other girlfriend posted proudly on his Facebook wall are the real reason. FML

#21260092
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43877) - you deserved it (4098)

On 09/17/2014 at 3:48pm - love - by kitkat (woman) - United States

Today, my brother got the same cologne as the guy I've been seeing for a while. Every time I'm with my brother I think about him, and every time I'm with him I think about my brother. FML

#21259922
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39620) - you deserved it (4109)

On 09/17/2014 at 7:46am - love - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I took a shit of biblical proportions. I flushed and opened a window, but my pregnant wife went in straight after me. Her morning sickness kicked in and she quickly ran out, vomit dripping from her mouth. She's pissed and thinks I planned the whole thing as a prank. FML

#21258820
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34636) - you deserved it (3895)

On 09/15/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I took my girlfriend of a year out on a date, a nice fancy dinner and a movie. After dinner, I said that I was feeling sick and just wanted to go home. I didn't have the heart to tell her that dinner was so expensive that I didn't have money for the movie. FML

#21258006
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42644) - you deserved it (8114)

On 09/14/2014 at 11:32am - love - by jgboy - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend told me that the necklace I gave her wasn't a "unique enough gift." I spent two weeks making that necklace, link by link. FML

#21257946
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42931) - you deserved it (2755)

On 09/14/2014 at 8:53am - love - by NoConfusion (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my fiancée's been cheating on me. Her excuse? Her ADHD made her do it. FML

#21257049
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39479) - you deserved it (3083)

On 09/12/2014 at 5:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got more pleasure from itching the bed bug bites from sleeping over at my boyfriend's house than I got from actually sleeping with him. FML

#21255435
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35349) - you deserved it (4777)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:38pm - love - by Itchy Missy (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

#21255419
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42074) - you deserved it (11713)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I chatted to a nice guy and gave him my number. I told him I was going to sleep because I had a headache, and then put my phone on silent. He rang multiple times, and when I obviously didn't pick up, he sent several texts insulting me and calling me gutless for not responding. FML

#21255032
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34531) - you deserved it (3328)

On 09/09/2014 at 12:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I looked at a girl's profile on a dating website, and it told her I'd visited it. Later on, she sent me a message. It said: "Don't even think about it." FML



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