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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was dancing with an incredibly sexy man at a club. He was grinding on me when he leaned over and said, "If I was straight, I would make you my queen." FML

#20548252
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31885) - you deserved it (3945)

On 03/17/2013 at 8:10pm - love - by noooooooo (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me for months. It all started while I was in the hospital, he says, because we were supposed to go out that day, but then I "had to go and get sick". He blames my emergency surgery for his infidelity. FML

#20547926
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31328) - you deserved it (1854)

On 03/17/2013 at 4:12pm - love - by need an appendickectomy (woman) - Finland

Today, I found out through his Facebook update and a text message that my fiancé demoted me to girlfriend status. I was sitting in the next room. FML

#20547323
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25012) - you deserved it (1879)

On 03/17/2013 at 6:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided we are to the point in our relationship that it's considered acceptable to take a dump while I'm in there showering. FML

#20547094
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26071) - you deserved it (5141)

On 03/17/2013 at 1:05am - love - by jisaac09 (man) - United States (Kentucky)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at college, I finally talked myself into confessing my feelings to a girl I really like. Her response was to threaten to sue me. For what, exactly? I have no goddamned idea. I just don't understand people anymore. FML

#20545151
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26636) - you deserved it (1920)

On 03/15/2013 at 6:43pm - love - by forever single, I guess (man) - United States

Today, I found out why my boyfriend likes to do my hair and makeup for me. Far from it being some kind of fetish or hobby, it's because he thinks I do such a crappy job that feels he has to apply it himself so I don't "embarrass" him when we're out in public together. FML

#20543666
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24950) - you deserved it (8177)

On 03/14/2013 at 5:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)

Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML

#20542468
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32707) - you deserved it (2664)

On 03/13/2013 at 7:22pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

#20541635
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35143) - you deserved it (11257)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I said yes. This caused him to panic, excuse himself, then take it back via text message a half hour later, claiming he'd been drunk. We live together. When he comes back home, it's going to be very awkward indeed. FML

#20541052
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30660) - you deserved it (1756)

On 03/12/2013 at 6:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my mom about the rough time I'm having over my recent break-up, and how I can't help thinking about my ex every single day. Her attempt to console me involved saying, "Pft. I bet he doesn't think about you every day" and walking away. Thanks. FML

#20540840
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23228) - you deserved it (4028)

On 03/12/2013 at 2:40pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried to go to my Hotmail account on my boyfriend's computer. When I typed in "hot", a big history list came down. It was all "Hot single mom looking for a good lay" Craigslist ads. FML

#20540391
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25797) - you deserved it (2454)

On 03/12/2013 at 1:19am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guy who works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He ended up asking if my dad was single. FML

#20538966
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35591) - you deserved it (3338)

On 03/11/2013 at 12:17am - love - by lonely girl - United States

Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML

#20538482
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28277) - you deserved it (2526)

On 03/10/2013 at 6:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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