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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, these cute girls approached me and asked me to take a picture of them. One girl asked me if I could send it to her because her phone had died. I was excited to have her number, but it turns out that she deleted the message after she sent the picture to herself. FML

#21330933
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25846) - you deserved it (6329)

On 01/04/2015 at 10:10pm - love - by fml - United States

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, we were cuddling when he grabbed his penis and made it say, "That was amazing! Thank you for the sex." He's 21 years old. FML

#21330918
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27811) - you deserved it (6116)

On 01/04/2015 at 9:50pm - love - by myboyfriendisweird - United States (Arizona)

Today, in an attempt to be romantic, I kissed my husband as passionately as I could. After, he looked at me and said, "You taste like Chinese food." FML

#21330815
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25097) - you deserved it (4696)

On 01/04/2015 at 6:14pm - love - by TimJack18 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my vegetarian girlfriend put some ghost pepper hot sauce on my steak to teach me a "lesson" about eating meat. FML

#21330517
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37167) - you deserved it (5265)

On 01/04/2015 at 5:27am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML

#21330185
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35424) - you deserved it (6671)

On 01/03/2015 at 7:23pm - love - by allgassedout (man) - United States (California)

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday, so I decided to take her to a fancy restaurant and give her an expensive $400 necklace that I had bought. Being traditional, I asked the waiter to arrange it nicely on the tray when he came with our dessert. Neither he nor the necklace ever showed up. FML

#21329874
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40603) - you deserved it (8433)

On 01/03/2015 at 5:48am - love - by JJ_V3N0M - United States (California)

Today, my fiancée and I were making plans for our wedding when my soon-to-be mother-in-law chimed in with, "You know, she can still get out of this. I got the dress for her but we can save it for the next guy." I'm not sure if she's joking or not. FML

#21329587
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27460) - you deserved it (1988)

On 01/02/2015 at 8:46pm - love - by bingalingading (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend finally played the new guitar I bought to replace the one he broke. He used a $1000 guitar to play me a moving song about my butt. FML

#21328639
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24025) - you deserved it (4672)

On 01/01/2015 at 1:16pm - love - by ButtWorthSingingBout (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went on a first date, only for us to find the restaurant wasn't open on New Year's Day. My date suggested going to the mall instead. We drove in our own cars. Me: the mall, him: home. I waited for 40 minutes before realising he'd stood me up. Happy New Year to me. FML

#21328493
77 comments

Today, my proposal to my girlfriend was supposed to be exactly when the ball dropped at midnight. Unfortunately my mother called her at 11:55pm to ask her if she liked the ring. FML

#21328278
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40849) - you deserved it (3226)

On 01/01/2015 at 12:47am - love - by Proposal Fail - United States (New York)

Today, I got a letter from my long time boyfriend asking me to meet him at the place we first met for a "surprise". I can't remember where that even is. FML

#21327916
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26691) - you deserved it (10691)

On 12/31/2014 at 3:59pm - love - by lunab123 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to a club to celebrate New Year's Eve. A cute guy came up to me at the bar and asked my name. I thought my 8 year long dry spell was finally about to end. I smiled and said "Chrissy!" He said "That's a whore's name!" and wandered back off into the crowd. FML

#21327860
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31638) - you deserved it (2989)

On 12/31/2014 at 2:39pm - love - by cakestar9 (woman) - Ireland (Clare)



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