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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I made out with a boy for the first time. I belched into his mouth. FML

#21420681
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25319) - you deserved it (6200)

On 06/04/2015 at 12:21pm - love - by NoMoreTacoBell - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got woken up and kicked out of bed. Apparently if I cheat in her dreams it still counts. FML

#21419795
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31193) - you deserved it (2982)

On 06/02/2015 at 5:02pm - love - by Jrex89 (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I took part in a bouquet toss. The "single ladies" consisted of myself and several girls under the age of ten. I'm 31. FML

#21419646
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27750) - you deserved it (2879)

On 06/02/2015 at 10:59am - love - by skid (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I received a beautiful, heart-felt text from my boyfriend detailing all the ways he loved me. He probably should have emphasized just how big his heart is though because he sent the text to three other women too. Thank you, group messaging. FML

#21419508
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31029) - you deserved it (2388)

On 06/02/2015 at 1:03am - love - by Anonymous -

Today, my girlfriend is angry with me. We had an argument on how to properly eat an Oreo. FML

#21418659
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25774) - you deserved it (5671)

On 05/31/2015 at 4:36pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a guy hit on me. It's such a rare occurrence that I didn't know how to react, so I panicked and said "Sorry, I have to go!" Then I remembered we were on a bus, and just turned around and awkwardly pretended he wasn't there. FML

#21418496
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26623) - you deserved it (6070)

On 05/31/2015 at 9:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend randomly confessed to basically having a "phobia" of monogamy. But don't worry, she defensively assured me she's never ever cheated on me, even though I never said she had, so I guess that's okay then. FML

#21417890
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25520) - you deserved it (2283)

On 05/30/2015 at 1:40am - love - by well then (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized out how sad my love life is when I got excited that the number a girl gave me turned out to really be hers. FML

#21417861
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28153) - you deserved it (2740)

On 05/30/2015 at 1:40am - love - by L_lives (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad met my boyfriend. It took less than 10 seconds for him to accuse my boyfriend of being a "queer" because his handshake was "too limp". FML

#21417868
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27538) - you deserved it (3425)

On 05/30/2015 at 12:23am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my girlfriend bought two tickets for a cruise to the Bahamas. Too bad the second ticket isn't for me. I guess her ex-boyfriend will have a wonderful time with her. FML

#21417626
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28721) - you deserved it (2110)

On 05/29/2015 at 2:28pm - love - by probably single (man) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I crossed the street without holding her hand. FML

#21417560
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28965) - you deserved it (3706)

On 05/29/2015 at 11:05am - love - by GlueAndCarrots - Canada (Ontario)

Today, for our anniversary, I had made a small treasure hunt for my boyfriend, tying roses with notes of poetry to lampposts across campus to lead him to where we would have a romantic dinner. He couldn't find it because people had stolen the roses, or simply ripped them to pieces and thrown them away. FML

#21417526
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30229) - you deserved it (7852)

On 05/29/2015 at 9:04am - love - by Headless (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I got engaged. When I called my father, who is out of state for a few days, to tell him, his response was, "What'd you do that for?" FML



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