Today, I told my wife to block the mail of her ex (because he was sending her romantic mails) or I would leave. She told me that I could leave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18964) - you totally deserved it (3062)
On 11/13/2009 at 11:23pm - love - by RedLust (man) - Bolivia (Cochabamba)
Why would you want to be with a woman like that anyway? Screw her. Move on.
#1 - On 11/14/2009 at 6:21am by littlegoldwoman
Déjà-vu. Get rid of the bitch before she does. Take the emails as an evidence for divorce settlement.
just leave her you'll be better off on your own than with her
#2 - On 11/14/2009 at 6:27am by katherinebby17
OK, I'm the first one to disagree. Perhaps she just didn't want a husband who would threaten to leave her for anything. She wasn't even answering to the messages, for god's sake!
You should have asked her to block the e-mail differently, WITHOUT putting your marriage at risk as if it meant nothing at all to you. BIG BIG YDI
#4 - On 11/14/2009 at 7:01am by sweetpandora
I understand your point of view,maybe the OP overreacted,but if we look at it another way,why would a married woman welcome romantic gestures from an ex-boyfriend?You would think a person serious about the marriage would shoot the ex down immediately,instead of keeping quiet which would just cause the ex to keep on sending those mails.
To the OP,I find it weird that you have access to your wife's email,unless you were snooping around,then your wife should be the one with the FML.
I love it when people give ultimatums,as if the other party is obligated to give in.Marriage is a 50/50 partnership,you don't like it,then don't get married.Feel free to make threats when you have children,but realize that your wife has as much power over you as you have over her.
#6 - On 11/14/2009 at 7:43am by alpha_beta
who said she was welcoming them? If I was getting letters I didn't want, and my boyfriend freaked out and threatened me, I'd dump his ass too.
@ 6: it could have been regular mail, not the electronic version, as it states in the original post that "I told my wife to block the mail of her ex" so the OP might not have been snooping, just getting the mail from the mailbox.
#47 - On 11/14/2009 at 2:00pm by singachic87
mmm, giving an ultimatum in any case would get that response. If it's emial and shes not answering them, who cares. If asked with out giving ultimatums one would probably get a differnt response.
#48 - On 11/14/2009 at 2:05pm by Spitfire86
Sure you can ignore it, but instead of letting it clutter your inbox up or having to delete them all the time, why not BLOCK HIM? She's welcoming them by not telling the ex to fuck off or blocking him (neither of which should be hard to do considering SHE'S MARRIED...), and certainly now we can deduce that she was welcoming them since she's willing to let her hubby leave just so she can have pathetic fan mail.
While I think it's dumb that he gave the ultimatum, at least one that ended with "or I'll leave," he still has a right to be pissed.
OP, just leave. She's chosen her road.
Oh, and we don't even know if he hadn't mentioned it to her before. If he knew about it, perhaps she said something to him, or he found out on his own, and certainly that's something to warrant at least one talk.
#54 - On 11/14/2009 at 5:24pm by DameGreyWulf
I agree with sweetpandora. maybe she just doesn't want to have a husband who orders her around. think of it that way first.
"maintaining the overall order of marriage" is part of marriage. If a woman is not prepared to brace for a marriage, why the hell is she married?
#28 - On 11/14/2009 at 10:23am by blland
Why the hell can't the man just take them as face value. I'm assuming she had a joke
with the OP about them and didn't reply but it's a two way street, he has to make some allowances as she obviously wasn't prolonging the e-mail contact with her ex. Again this is just assumptions because I could be totally wrong.
here is your chance, RUN! get out while the offer is still on the table.
#7 - On 11/14/2009 at 7:46am by MaddogTotten
Perhaps she enjoyed the romantic letters and she just wanted to read them. Her husband might not ever say anything like that :O
If she's stupid enough to want her ex back in her life she's too stupid for you. She'll find out the hard way that whatever made him her ex is still going to be an issue.
ahhh the army of "She didnt deserve you!" strikes again, go diaf.
Pro tip: ultimatums are never a good idea.
Don't issue an ultimatum if you don't have the balls to bring the hammer down.
Now you look like a weak, pathetic loser who issued an empty threat and ended up taking a hammer blow to the balls.
Game over, man.
I agree with you on that
never make an ultimatum if you dont like on what could be the outcome.
Next time figure out what you did wrong and correct it. If you cant, then simply find somebody who can live with you.
If the stupid bitch knows that shes going to be unhappy then why the hell did she decided to marry you? Ah well better now that this happens than later
Just had to post b/c I've never seen one from Bolivia. I was born in Achumani, lived in Chulumani for a few years. FYL. Find a real woman ;)
#12 - On 11/14/2009 at 8:40am by toomanycats
Ummm its HIS wife so its not snooping..
He has full rights to know whats shes doing!
That's called being Married!
#13 - On 11/14/2009 at 8:49am by Cristaderzi
first off, YDI for trying to be a controlling bastard, secondly did you even ask her if she told him to stop sending them? sometimes people have more than one email address you know. Also ultimatums rarely end the way you want them to, don't be a dick.
Something tells me this is not the first time the husband has chucked a tandy (temper tantrum) and issued an ultimatum.
Maybe she just thinks that her husband has no right to issue ultimatums like block the emails from her ex or he would leave. He is effectively telling her who she can and cant talk to and reinforcing that fact that he doesnt trust her. This is manipulating, controlling behaviour that will only get worse. Not a healthy thing in a relationship if one partner doubts the others ability to stay faithful to the point that ultimatums are being issued. If she does it, where do the ultimatums stop?
And then there's the issue of whether the husband is in contact with any of HIS ex-girlfriends. If he is, then he has NO right to tell her that she cant keep in contact with hers.
Maybe she welcomes the emails, maybe she doesnt but at the end of the day the husband should have some degree of trust. Whats the point in being in the marriage if they dont have that?
#15 - On 11/14/2009 at 9:02am by Reality_bites
Maybe you might need to spice up your marriage and be more romantic and your wife will pick you...
#18 - On 11/14/2009 at 9:19am by Starfire22
Viejo soy de Bolivia tambien! Nada que ver! Pense que era el unico Boliviano que conocia esta pagina. :P
Sabes que, dejala a tu mujer porque eventualmente te va poner cuernos con su ex. Hay literalmente MILLONES de mujeres en todo el mundo, si la dejas, poder tirarte a varias hembritas y tener una nueva oportunidad en la vida. Suerte flaco. VIVA BOLIVIA.
#20 - On 11/14/2009 at 9:24am by papuccino1
Don't forget to take your belongings with you. YDI for marrying a cheating bitch.
#21 - On 11/14/2009 at 9:37am by blastvortex
If my husband told that I would have told him to leave, too. You are her husband, not her parent. You don't get to order her to do anything.
#22 - On 11/14/2009 at 9:38am by rightsaidred
Neither does she have the right to force him to endure her continued "better-than-friends" relationship with her ex. I also suspect that you don't know the original arrangement(s) of this marriage any more than I do, which is to say that we don't.
By the way, he didn't order her to do anything. He offered her an option - he goes or her ex goes. She made her choice, so he exercised his right to choose as well. It wasn't the nicest deal with marital problems, but what's done is done. They're probably both better off this way anyway. It's pretty obvious that neither was content with what the other was offering (if there's any truth to this story, that is).
#23 - On 11/14/2009 at 9:52am by blastvortex
he didn't really offer her much of an option, and by the sounds of it he asked in a way that WAS ordering. the other option -- him leaving -- is game over, end of marriage, worst thing he could do besides beat her. ultimatums suck and she didn't sound like she deserved it. the FML wasn't 'my cheating wife chose her ex over me', it was 'I somehow snoopily found out she was getting love letters and blamed her for her ex's actions, made it clear I didn't trust her, and yet she had the balls to stand up to me and NOT do what I told her!" perhaps I don't know the full story but that's what it sounds like to me.
YDI 100%
While being upset about romantic notes from her ex is understandable, you do not own your wife and you can't unilaterally tell her what to do. YDI for being an ass.
leave the op alone. it's not controlling. if she didin't like her ex she wouldn't talk to him or enjoy readig his romantic emails. which means if the op went to a trip pr something she would cheat. wouldn't you say if you cheat on me I'm leaving. no one likes wives or husbands who are likely to cheat sorry if this doesn't make sense
You gave her an ultimatum. What did you expect??? If I was given an ultimatum I'd leave just on a principle. YDI
#34 - On 11/14/2009 at 11:41am by lostfaithinpppl
Maybe she's close friends with her ex? Not that he should send her emails like that.. But don't you trust her?
___Men can be jerks. Women are stupid. I'm living proof___
#37 - On 11/14/2009 at 12:26pm by TrillianMcRed
First of all I have already left (thanks for the support people), and second of course I discussed with her that that was wrong, and she thought otherwise so I had no other option to give the ultimatum. I f you want to be with me then why do you need your past? And women if you need more romance say something don’t look for it in other places, because if we men need more BJ (Just an example) or whatever you wouldn’t like us to be getting in other place right? Some things are important for some people and other things for others.
ah, see I didn't know you had disscussed it with her. You did the right thing. Now that you clear things up about it. Sounds likke lack of communication.
#53 - On 11/14/2009 at 3:30pm by Spitfire86
OP, you should reply to top, so people stop making dumb comments.
#61 - On 11/14/2009 at 9:57pm by DameGreyWulf
Kinda sounds like these previous "discussions" consisted of you telling her that she's wrong, then proceeding to tell her how and why. But, then I wasn't there, so I could be misinterpreting.
So, that aside, during these discussions, out of curiosity, what was her side of it?
#63 - On 11/14/2009 at 11:44pm by o0ginger0o
What would be her side of it? What side is there to have? Is it so hard to block someone who keeps trying to hook up with you despite the fact you're married? What kind of person wouldn't do that initially, or at least tell them to back off?
Oh, right, a self-centered, attention-whoring bitch.
#69 - On 11/15/2009 at 9:26pm by DameGreyWulf
To all of you tht called him controling shut up. How can you call a man controling for not wanting his wife to cheat on him?
#43 - On 11/14/2009 at 1:24pm by megmegmegmeg
To all of you tht called him controling shut up. How can you call a man controling for not wanting his wife to cheat on him?
#44 - On 11/14/2009 at 1:24pm by megmegmegmeg
I'd tell you to leave too... If you don't trust your spouse to stay within the agreed upon relationship rules, you shouldn't be in that relationship. You also shouldn't be bossing anyone around (unless you're both into that...), next time if you're uncomfortable with something try explaining it like an adult rather then throwing down ultimatiums.
it's your falut. everyone who said she is cheating on him how the hell is that cheating on him it's not like she had sex with him when they were married it's just an email. if she wants someone more romantic the op could be more romantic if he knew about them obviously she wants someone like that and it's your fault ydi because u just gave her a option for you to leave and you have no right to tell her who she can't speak with you are a controling ass
#46 - On 11/14/2009 at 1:55pm by lolhahahahhahaaa
Hey you asked. If you don't like her answer, GET OVER IT!
#52 - On 11/14/2009 at 3:27pm by neverStopLaughin
YDI for not telling the whole story and having a limp dick.
#57 - On 11/14/2009 at 7:11pm by NrthrnLghts
Good riddance. Women are much more adept at cheating than men and more likely to do so as well. They're just better at hiding it. If she's accepting romantic e-mails from her ex, then you can bet she's been messing around. Get out before you get an STD.
YDI. Don't give a woman an ultimatum, it will tell her you're just some controlling fool she doesn't want to be with.
YDI. Don't give a woman an ultimatum, it will tell her you're just some controlling fool she doesn't want to be with.
Cool Bolivia. Hello! :)
Hmmm, that's awful for you. I'm sure it didn't feel good knowing she was getting mails from her ex, but you have to remember she married you :)
Also, I don't know your situation, but is it that easy to end the relationship? Perhaps both of you overreacted in the heat of the moment. Good luck on your marriage.
my brother was in the same situation. She left him and now he's got a prettier girlfriend and he's super happy.
just leave her, no one deserves crap like that.
#64 - On 11/15/2009 at 12:26am by Sweets_wtc
So you don't trust your wife with her ex because she chose you over her ex and he won't let go? So to handle this insecurity... you try to dictate how she lives her life instead of talking it over with her? And you threatened to take your ball and go home if she didn't do what you wanted? How is this a FML? It's a FHL. It wouldn't surprise me if she dumps you after seeing how untrusting and controlling you can be when you don't get your way.
I agree with the OP. U don't need your past. Your ex is your ex for a reason so why still talk to them???
#68 - On 11/15/2009 at 8:25am by bored690
There is something called "Trust".
Getting letters from an ex, even answering them or why not seeing him (and by seeing I mean seeing, not sleeping with) is not cheating.
If the OP can't trust his wife, well his wife's right, he should leave.
ydi guy for dating and then marrying a woman on the rebound. never marry the cow when you can get the milk for free retard.
#72 - On 11/16/2009 at 2:30pm by ladiesman14
