Today, I told my friend how I liked this girl but was too scared to ask her out. He told me "Why? The worst she's going to do is say no." Building confidence I approached her and asked her on a date. Then she replied "Get away douchebag!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41810) - you totally deserved it (2576)
On 08/10/2009 at 5:20am - love - by Rejected (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
alot of ppl dumbfuck. shit happens. this is possible. go get an education
op- and thats when you say "ah you fucking bitch! what the hell is your problem?!"
... Fake, it was on Conan O Brien (or Jimmy Fallon?) yesterday. Except the line was that they set his crotch on fire, and the punch line was "I feel sorry for the wingman; he probably said 'go talk to her, what's the worst that can happen?'"
Okay, well before you tell me to get an education learn that "a lot" is two words...and how to capitalize the first word of a sentence.
And I have NEVER seen someone just get kicked in the balls for trying to talk to someone...if this is real she must be the biggest bitch ever.
Whoa, what a bitch. Did you do something to her...? If not, FYL!
#2 - On 08/10/2009 at 2:04pm by bananamanama
THAT'S WHEN YOU WHIP OUT THE FALCON PUNCH! Right to the forehead.
#16 - On 08/10/2009 at 2:29pm by StingMunFizzy
Or, even better, TURBO-KNEE!!!!
/more damage than falcon punch
// sorry for breaking the cliche
///slashies
That's so messed up of her (unless you've been stalking her and are a creeper in general).
#4 - On 08/10/2009 at 2:04pm by leandra12
let's not keep using this word "creeper" from the fml posted earlier. seriously, it's almost as annoying as "bromance"
#49 - On 08/10/2009 at 4:41pm by lessthanbee
:( yikes! sorry to hear that FML better luck next time! altho i can see this posted as the next drawn FML
#5 - On 08/10/2009 at 2:06pm by LoveItOrLeaveIt
she deserves a punch or swift kick there...where do women get off thinking kicking a guy there is ok. It obviously hurts a lot and isn't good for you. Only time I condone it is if it's a self defense moment.
Did she even know you well? Cause it sounds like she doesn't.
#9 - On 08/10/2009 at 2:15pm by Tchernov9
Maybe this was a good response in the end. If she had politely declined you would have just been heartbroken, but since she kicked you in the nuts, you found out she's a bitch and now know you're lucky you're not dating her.
#10 - On 08/10/2009 at 2:15pm by airplanefood
Ahh, very good point. Yeah look at it this way, you're lucky she didn't say yes, you'd be going out with a major bitch!
#64 - On 08/10/2009 at 5:29pm by Sun_Kissed18
Guess your friend was wrong. But maybe next time you should try liking a girl who's less of a bitch.
You must lead a sheltered life.
I've known many who have done worse.
#63 - On 08/10/2009 at 5:25pm by drimpossible
This is true. If the OP was indeed stalking her, then she is perfectly justified in her response.
If not, be glad she denied you — had she accepted, you will have wished she didn't.
#33 - On 08/10/2009 at 3:26pm by dannydawriter
It's better than her macing you or pulling out a knife.
#14 - On 08/10/2009 at 2:24pm by Rock_squared
eh, no its not...
i've never been maced but i got robbed once, the guy stuck a knife in my arm.
A solid kick in the nuts is worse.
#19 - On 08/10/2009 at 2:35pm by DutchWaiterGuy
I really don't believe you #19. Maybe you were just nicked by the knife, cos a proper stab is way more painful than a kick in the balls.
#34 - On 08/10/2009 at 3:30pm by divineinstrument
well it's not like he gutted me with it and i ended up in the hospital :P
it was one of those swiss multitool knife things and it only went in about an inch or so.
So its not as bad as you might think, but I truly prefer that to a full-blown nutcracker, and i bet any guy would tell you that :P
#44 - On 08/10/2009 at 4:08pm by DutchWaiterGuy
I'll beat that bitch senseless if she tried to slice me with a swiss multitool knife or lay a full-blown nutcracker on me.
YDI, learn to use your right hand for the rest of your life, douche.
#15 - On 08/10/2009 at 2:27pm by joethebiden
What the fuck is wrong with her? I smell assault charges.
#17 - On 08/10/2009 at 2:31pm by DeathShad0
Seriously, that would be the best thing to do. See how she likes getting kicked in her non-existent balls in court. Maybe she won't be much of an idiot next time.
She clearly replaced the awkward silence after the rejection with the kick.....
#26 - On 08/10/2009 at 3:01pm by RichYungReverse
Fake.
This was an Adam Sandler Stand-up bit from Way back. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yC8cvTQtgdQ
That particular joke starts at 2:01 in that video.
Douche.
#27 - On 08/10/2009 at 3:02pm by 3pennyprophet
At least the OP was original enough to add "and kicked me in the balls"
#28 - On 08/10/2009 at 3:07pm by HeyitsPheddy
Yes, because this could never happen in real life. For all we know the OP is Adam Sandler himself.
#30 - On 08/10/2009 at 3:21pm by genius_man16
#19 actually i've been stabbed and kicked in the nuts at the same time (getting jumped) and the knife wound was four inches deep in the stomach, my nuts hurt the most of all just getting kicked
thats what you get for being an ugly puke fuck give me her number she prob wants someone who doesnt look like Sloth from the goonies bhahahhahahahahaha
#31 - On 08/10/2009 at 3:21pm by SimonJaxx11
what sane bitch screams at you and kicks you in the ball sack for innocently coming up to her to ask for a date?
fake as helllllllllllllllllll.
#41 - On 08/10/2009 at 3:55pm by ohhhhbriana
and you fail at life for not knowing how to spell a word as pathetically simple as insane...with a spell check.
that nice little red line under a word?...yeah that means you fucked it up. right click and it will tell you how to fix it. is it really that hard or do our public education systems really suck that much dick?
as to OP. FYL. I will agree with poster # 19 though. Getting stabbed / burned has shit on a good kick to the nuts. I have had 1st / 2nd degree burns over the entirety of my face and neck, dislocated my knee (full 90 degree), my shoulder, broken my right wrist twice, left shoulder once, split my head open (once that I can remember 3 times total, have had multiple 3rd degree burns on my arms, and several deep puncture wounds (none by knives fortunately) that have required stitches....I would willingly take any two of these (three or four depending on the combination) over a good kick to the baby makers any day of the week. Nothing compares to the raw agony or a square shot to the gonads.
OP your friend, generally speaking, is correct. and his thought on the matter is a good one by which to judge future decisions. Don't let this bitch ruin your dating life. Join your school paper, omit her name, and let the world know (don't get mad / depressed...get even) and then when the issue is released grab a huge stack of them, pass them around the cafeteria, and make sure to tell everyone the story on page 'x' is about 'so and so'...that's what i did for a friend who got stood up for prom =D
Uh.. Rabbit.
Not everybody has Firefox. Just the smart ones, like you, me, and practically everybody else.
finally. I've moderated so many and this is the first I've seen.
this girl is a bitch. FYL
#48 - On 08/10/2009 at 4:38pm by picturetaker
i fucking hate girls like that. why do they have to be such assholes about it if someone they don't like asks them out? just tell them politely no! god dammit... I'd be flattered if someone asked me out.
Oops sorry bro, happens to the best of us, walk it off, good luck
#58 - On 08/10/2009 at 5:10pm by waterynuggets
im guessing you took the elementary school approach earlier on by being mean to her and she didnt take it the right way...she did it for some reason so you maybe deserve it
#59 - On 08/10/2009 at 5:19pm by slamdnkindrummer
good thing she said no...wouldn't wanna be stuck with that bitch
#66 - On 08/10/2009 at 5:40pm by nerdfighter4life
Whoa, that's mean... did you do anything to her? Cause if not, she's a huuge bitch.
#73 - On 08/10/2009 at 7:06pm by AnnaSeptic
so0o fake. why would she reject you AND glamorize it by kicking you in the nuts? unless you are a creeper and are 12
#74 - On 08/10/2009 at 7:17pm by YouAreRidiculous
This sounds fake, something a 14 year old boy would make up after hearing someone say "What's the worst that could happen?". Seriously? Kicked you in the balls and called you douchebag for asking her out? Right.
#76 - On 08/10/2009 at 7:53pm by 8trickster8
Worst she can do is say no as long as you are wearing a cup is better advice.
#80 - On 08/10/2009 at 8:16pm by Brooklynxman
Okay either you did something to provoke this or she's a total nutcase (no pun intended, lol!)
If its the former, you've learned your lesson, whatever you did don't do it while approaching another girl. If she's the latter, thank goodness you dodged a bullet, even if she is hot. (Refer to Barney's (from HIMYM) hotness to craziness scale [blog.mrmeyer.com/?p=454]
Either way, you can sue her for assault as long as you weren't a total creeper and therefore she thought she was in danger.
p.s. Don't let that psycho freak you out, in general your friend is right, the worst a girl- a decent girl- will do is say no.
#85 - On 08/10/2009 at 8:42pm by honeyishrnkdakid
No way this actually happened. And if it somehow did, I think you're greenlit to king hit her in the face.
#89 - On 08/10/2009 at 9:48pm by turboawesome88
what did you do to her before that that isnt included in the fml?
#91 - On 08/11/2009 at 12:01am by Paige_Nicole10
Calling bullshit! Unless you came up and were acting like some perv or sex offender no one is going to call you a douche bag and kick you in the nuts for asking her on a date. It's either a lie or you grabbed her ass/boobs/crotch something causing her to reject you with violence. Either way YDI. Doesn't sound like you really had any balls to kick in the first place.
I know for a fact this is bullshit. I just watched late night with jimmy fallon and it was one of his monolog jokes except instead of kicked in the balls, it was burned or something. and the show is filmed in the morning so I don't think they were the ones that copied it.
#98 - On 08/11/2009 at 3:55am by chargerlandia
it might not be bullshit. it probably is, but that doesn't mean it's from tv. is it so hard to beleive that it's a coincidence? #98, you just watch too much TV. go fuck yourself and stop acting like you know what you're talking about.
well, once you find your balls again from somewhere up near your lungs, pat yourself on the back for being man enough to do it in the first place. Then go find another girl to do it to until you get over your fear of rejection. At that point you'll be so confident/not caring that they will flock to you.
The girl is a bitch and you sir are a man for building up the confidence to ask her out. Too bad you picked the wrong chick.Now find your balls and a nice pretty girl and ask her out.
#104 - On 08/11/2009 at 1:03pm by Your_Point
hahaha wow that sucks. but i guess its a warning to everyone that saying no is not the worst that can happen
#108 - On 08/11/2009 at 9:15pm by uuuuuuuuuug
FYL but girls will do this all the time to you, no matter how hard you try to get ready for this or avoid this. Get used.
The irony of it all makes it really hard not to laugh.
But at least you know not to buy into the "The worst that could happen is..." philosophy anymore. Hope your nads feel better soon.
Lol. The irony. Try to avoid the 'worst thing' line next time.
She's a bitch though, stab her sharply in the boobs (if she has got any)
should be equally painful.
Hope yer boys feel better.
#118 - On 08/16/2009 at 4:32pm by the_effed_life
What a bitch. Girls like that are so full of themselves. You can get better.
#119 - On 08/16/2009 at 11:08pm by JustSoLost
I would have grabbed My tight Fists Over her kneck And Throw Her off a cliff!!!. But that's what happens... Love is the biggest bitch in the whole wide world!
#120 - On 08/18/2009 at 4:47am by omgmylifegood
I hate girl that think its okay to do that. I really don't see it as a joke never have its, very painful.
You should call it the Knee Of Justice, crushing the crotches of Americans with Justice.
#123 - On 09/09/2009 at 1:43pm by Lolersauczors
