Today, I woke up in a daze after a long night drinking. I felt a subtle nudge on my shoulder. I was at my ex-girlfriends house, passed out on top of her, with no pants on. Her dad was, in so many words, informing me that I had to leave immediately. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7078) - you totally deserved it (34034)
On 07/13/2009 at 3:06pm - love - by Matt (man) - United States (Florida)
Did you sit and wait for your chance to prove you are a moron? Do you wait, with baited breath, refreshing the page every four seconds to get the first post? Or perhaps you have worked out a timetable of times that the FML's are posted from the server, and already have your comment copied to clipboard to paste with obvious ignorance to the disdain you cause. Yes, you my friend, are the classic troll, and I have to congratulate you on your quite obvious idiocy.
Damn, someone just got told XD
But yes thats sux, but in a way YDI for letting yourself get that drunk to where shit like this happens
#47 - On 07/13/2009 at 6:43pm by LordKoin772
shut up 34 everyone does it get over it. you're trying to hard
#67 - On 07/13/2009 at 9:39pm by jasmine1259
If I were daddy, I would have taken a frying pan and beat your bare-ass until your nose bled for disrespecting my daughter . As soon as your tortured red ass went flying through the closed window, guess whose ass would have been next??? Yep, my daughter's. For being so stupid to (re)connect up with sorry scum like you.
No doubt I would have gone to jail; but what was left of your torn-up ass would have gone to the coroner.
No actually, I didnt wait to get first, hence the 34th position. I just get pissed off at the morons that yell OMG FIRsT!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111111 on every new post.
Lol iKaite while it is annoying it's just stupid to react to these "First!" posts. Amazingly, people don't actually care that they're first- they just want an opportunity to annoy the easily irritable FML community. The same goes for people posting sexist/homophobic/racist/etc. posts. Honestly, if I ever do get first post, I'll be very tempted to post "OMG !!111!!! FIRST!" just to get an angry reaction out of people.
#97 - On 07/14/2009 at 6:23am by divineinstrument
lol oh yes cos being first is such an achievement.. no really, i agree with 34.. its not like we're stupid.. we CAN SEE that you're first.. if ur gonna comment on a post make it worth while.. yay im numner 3405.. who wants to touch me?? maybe im like royalty now or something..
But to Matt.. dude that sucks hey.. ha ha sorry but i couldnt help but laugh.. sounds like a scene in hangover.. nice
#99 - On 07/14/2009 at 7:52am by miss_mayhem_01
Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
second!!!! but really, FYL
#2 - On 07/13/2009 at 5:02pm by cheerloveexx3
Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
second. how cool. -.-
#13 - On 07/13/2009 at 5:16pm by dancin303
Because obviously we can't tell you're the second commenter by the number. durrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
#66 - On 07/13/2009 at 9:17pm by hotlobbies2
omg, if you're not drinking together with the right people, you better watch yourself.
#8 - On 07/13/2009 at 5:07pm by cr4ckb0n3f4n
This is EXACTLY what I was going to say. Pretty much when I read "after a heavy night of drinking" my mouse was hovering over You deserved it. I read it checking for if he was with any friends, and, not finding anything, pressed it.
Totally deserved it.
#85 - On 07/14/2009 at 2:31am by GelatinFemur
hate to say it, but thats what you get for getting wayyyy to drunk.
#15 - On 07/13/2009 at 5:17pm by soninlaw2be
Score, you got drunk and got laid. Bravo, mate. You may have had a great odeal on your hands but with how the situation went, you really screwed up.
aww, I didn't notice that, maybe getting drunk was a good idea in this one, if it gave him the courage to seek out someone he still cared about...
seems like working it out with dad is the major FHL in this one, then.
I have no sympathy or respect for people who drink to the point of blacking out and then either think its cool or who think its a valid excuse for their behavior.
#20 - On 07/13/2009 at 5:35pm by JoeBentley
#20 you are a douche. But for Matt... That is awesome HAHA that will be a story you can tell for many years to come. Dude that is NOT a FML, just pure awesomeness!
#26 - On 07/13/2009 at 5:48pm by donkey_hang_down
Make way for 'Captain Sensible' and his no-nonsense attitude towards being irresponsible once in a while. Do you have a cape? No, you're in a neighborhood watch scheme aren't you? I bet you tried out for the police but they turned you down. You vote Republican I bet. Do you also hate single moms on welfare? You think commies should be nuked, don't you?
#81 - On 07/14/2009 at 1:30am by buckfasthero
@20, gee thanks for the random comment, however irrelevent it may be.
#92 - On 07/14/2009 at 4:01am by organisedchaos
Why do you assume he's Republican? There's nothing to suggest that he's even American; there are more English-speakers outside of America than there are in America.
That you assume this site is only an American hangout paints you with a bit of that moron paint. Well done!
There is the location this fml was set for, a quite good clue he is American, seems that moron paint is used there too
#98 - On 07/14/2009 at 6:33am by KittyKatGirl
He was calling Joebentley a republican, and Joebentley does not have a location set.
In the words of the internet: "reading comphrehension fail".
Again we have morons for whom humour has to be slapstick to be understood. His attitude portrays the stereotype of a far right republican christian. I also said I 'bet' he votes Republican. He is from Florida, USA as clearly stated, which is a swing state. You aren't intelligent enough to be on FML. That's really bad. Seek help soon.
#107 - On 07/14/2009 at 10:01pm by buckfasthero
Of Course its a FYL; Seconds in the morning is always great, and he was dressed for the occasion... FYL dude
#56 - On 07/13/2009 at 7:16pm by andlifesuxagain
oh jeez idk if that sucks or is that awesome lol i think thats awesome not only did you have fun but you got laid... plus her dad didnt beat your ass you had a great day dude man...
#25 - On 07/13/2009 at 5:48pm by ithedarkknight
what did the dad say? also, what was the nudge cuz it sounds like you were at gunpoint
#27 - On 07/13/2009 at 5:49pm by maximumoverdrive
nice! I would've taken a picture with my phone if i was you! Thats gonna b something u remember for the rest of ur life
#28 - On 07/13/2009 at 5:54pm by icertainlysuck
rest assured, if an fml mentions alcohol, cigs, or any other drugs, there will be people saying shit like "ydi, smokers are jokers!"
#36 - On 07/13/2009 at 6:18pm by mister_moops
YDI but look on the bright side now you have an excuse not to pull that exgirlfriend shit anymore. If she's your ex and you wanted it then this was perfect b/c you got that last drunk lay in there and reason for not going back again. Well played sir...Well played!
#38 - On 07/13/2009 at 6:24pm by speak_a_da_truth
Everyone who gets drunk is an idiot. I wish we could send them all into the sun, so that decent people could live on Earth. Drunk + sex = accident babies = bad. Ever see the movie Idiocracy? You people make me sick
#40 - On 07/13/2009 at 6:26pm by blahdsflksfd
HAHA Idiocracy is a great flick! You live in a bubble though, being drunk does not = idiot. It just means we enjoy escaping the reality that you so much bitch about for however brief it is. Also Drunk + Sex = accident babies = bad. My best friend was NOT Drunk + Sex + Birth Control = accident baby = Great Father to his son. Your logic is flawed. I think you were an ACCIDENT BABY now go cry in your bubble.
#46 - On 07/13/2009 at 6:37pm by speak_a_da_truth
Hey, are you best friends with Captain Sensible from #20? You two guys should do an after-school special.
#82 - On 07/14/2009 at 1:34am by buckfasthero
and it's people like you who are so closed minded and judgemental of others and think they're better than someone because they don't drink.
get the fuck over yourself.
that sucked for like 10 minutes (assuming you had to find your pants)... then you got ur ass outa there and laughed for a good 30 minutes, and now you have a legendary story to tell for years to come!
AWESOME! :)
#43 - On 07/13/2009 at 6:32pm by sparda4355
YDI for gettin that drunk...hahaha btw did she succ ur dicc to cus if so this is soooo not a FML
#45 - On 07/13/2009 at 6:35pm by realrealitysuccs
There's nothing wrong with the way this FML is written. In fact, its subtlety is a lot better than your "improvement"
As you pointed out, "in so many words" means exactly what was said. Which was nothing. Everything is inferred from the nudge on the shoulder. If you or I were ever in that situation, and had the nudge, we'd both know it would be time to leave.
#109 - On 07/17/2009 at 2:00pm by irononreverse
I'm going to have to say YDI because I'm guessing you drove to her house and if you were that fucked up and driving your are a fucking idiot.
I'm going to have to say YDI because I'm guessing you drove to her house and if you were that fucked up and driving your are a fucking idiot.
Ha ha FYL and I mod'd this! lol sorry just wanted to say
#54 - On 07/13/2009 at 6:58pm by iowagirl1997
Hahahha
waking up with an ex is the worst. especially if youre naked and dont remember anything. i know we deserve it, but i feel for you. i really do.
#60 - On 07/13/2009 at 8:12pm by emelia
dude as long as you got some before u passed put than screw what her dad thinks, make sure you get yours
#61 - On 07/13/2009 at 8:14pm by AirforceBlu
Lol, that'd be great if it happened to me. I'd laugh considering the terms of breakup with my ex and I.
#64 - On 07/13/2009 at 8:44pm by Xerosnake90
I like the part where her dad found you passed out on his daughter.
#65 - On 07/13/2009 at 9:03pm by christopherlove
Today, i came home to see my daughter passed out with a naked boy on top of her. FML
#73 - On 07/13/2009 at 11:19pm by allthewrongkeys
You did deserve this for drinking to the point of a blackout, but you should be grateful that her father didn't do worse.
she could be living at home for schooling, or still lives at home after school because she can't afford a place of her own.
way to be judgemental
#84 - On 07/14/2009 at 1:51am by jessiebare
Hahah this is awesome. I mean, its a really bad situation, but thanks for sharing man. Good description of it too
#86 - On 07/14/2009 at 2:49am by RunZoneFive
this would be much more of an fml if it ended with 'the reason we broke up was that she was cheating on me with another guy an got herpes from him.'
#91 - On 07/14/2009 at 3:53am by abetterday
wow!! u must be thrilled! (: sorry hon, maybe next time it will be at ur place:)
#103 - On 07/14/2009 at 11:55am by lizanya
oh what fun times, wonder if this goes under "standard sofla night." here's to hoping you got your pants back on
#104 - On 07/14/2009 at 11:56am by crashessuck
Did u go o baby fuck me then say to the dad let my finish
#110 - On 09/18/2009 at 12:31pm by skatergirl21
