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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, the electrician came because our kitchen light has been flickering. After examining the installation, he screws the lightbulb tighter in the socket. My parents both are PhDs. FML

#6596231
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24478) - you deserved it (7181)

On 12/04/2009 at 5:16am - kids - by PhDdaughter (woman) - Switzerland (Fribourg)

Today, I found out that me and my best friend are both pregnant. We live together, and both had one night stands with the same guy. Now we are going to be each raising his children in the same house while he has decided to "not get involved" and move to a different state. FML

#6579311
387 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18033) - you deserved it (74418)

On 12/03/2009 at 1:55am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized that you should never teach your 6 year old child how to use the microwave, unless you want to be cleaning melted pet fish for about half an hour. FML

#6554102
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35871) - you deserved it (10042)

On 12/01/2009 at 5:24pm - kids - by poopiemanlol - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I left my friend this big Facebook wall comment about how adorable his son is. Just after posting, I read the other peoples' comments and find out that it's his daughter. FML

#6544592
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8171) - you deserved it (34565)

On 11/30/2009 at 11:53pm - kids - by PntsLessWonder (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I took my girlfriend's 4-year-old son and four of his friends to the amusement park. While walking down a hill, I slipped on some water and slid down the hill, taking out multiple children. It wasn't rain. I'd slid on vomit. FML

#6532401
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35322) - you deserved it (2769)

On 11/30/2009 at 12:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while flying on American Airlines back from visiting family, a new born puked its breakfast all over my HP mini, knocked my orange juice ino my lap, and than coughed up another layer on top of it all. I couldn't change my pants because of we were about to experience turbulance. FML

#6527445
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34557) - you deserved it (2648)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:34am - kids - by coloradoman (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my grandson asked how old I am and whether I'd seen Mammoths "for real" when I was a kid. FML

#6507610
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28452) - you deserved it (4013)

On 11/29/2009 at 2:13am - kids - by Granmacathy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while at a hotel for vacation with my brother and his wife, I was watching their two-month old daughter in the waterpark when a woman came up to me and said, "Aww your kid is so adorable! Don't worry, you'll get your figure back in no time." I'm a fourteen year old girl. FML

#6501685
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39026) - you deserved it (4679)

On 11/28/2009 at 9:14pm - kids - by Shannon (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I got in a hotel elevator. There was a kid in there also. He got off on the 3rd floor. As he was stepping from the elevator, he decided to press every single button. It's a 35 floor hotel. My room is on the 32nd floor. FML

Today, I went to start my truck that I had parked in my driveway after a longhaul. The fuel gauge indicated I had a full tank. I didn't fill up. My neighbours' son decided to fill the tank with water with a hose. 150 litres worth on top of diesel. His dad's response: "Kids eh, what ya gonna do?" FML

#6449145
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34288) - you deserved it (2232)

On 11/25/2009 at 5:24pm - kids - by driver (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I was watching my 7 year old daughter and her friend jump on our trampoline. I was really impressed by all the flips they were doing, and I told her "Hey! I can't even do that." To that her friend replied " Of course you can't. You're fat!" FML

#6443254
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31183) - you deserved it (7384)

On 11/25/2009 at 9:43am - kids - by madeyoulaugh (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working at a children's play centre, and my stomach was twisting and turning. Thinking no one was around, I let out a small fart, only to turn and see a little girl running to her mom yelling, "Mommy-mommy that lady just farted and it sounded like daddy!" FML

#6441579
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11888) - you deserved it (23359)

On 11/25/2009 at 2:36am - kids - by n/a - United States

Today, I was babysitting my younger brother while my parents were away. I turned my back on my brother for one minute and then I heard a huge crash from their room. He had somehow destroyed a family heirloom and 200 year old clock. FML

#6397427
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24767) - you deserved it (6923)

On 11/21/2009 at 11:05pm - kids - by Rhianna (woman) - Australia (South Australia)



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