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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I tried to rid my son of his pacifier. He still uses it to sleep. My son is 20 years old. FML

#6783679
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31488) - you deserved it (22707)

On 12/16/2009 at 8:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was at the theatre with my 4-year-old son who was situated on my lap. Halfway through the movie, he turns to face me and states loudly, "Mommy, your legs are so furry!". Everyone watching the show turned and stared at us. FML

#6747789
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22335) - you deserved it (8086)

On 12/14/2009 at 1:58am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw my four-year-old son running around outside, and copying everything our dog was doing. I thought it was cute, so I went to grab the camera. When I went back outside, I saw my dog eating a dead rabbit, and my son doing the same. FML

#6741094
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37396) - you deserved it (5615)

On 12/13/2009 at 7:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my kids how much they loved me. My seven year old responded, 'I'll love you forever mummy.' My sixteen year old responded, 'Can you wind down the window, I just farted.' FML

#6727065
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22732) - you deserved it (12198)

On 12/12/2009 at 8:29pm - kids - by ljjprchf (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

#6712384
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13837) - you deserved it (34883)

On 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my daughter's school called to inform me that I needed to bring her some sneakers. Not feeling like driving the 15 minutes to her school, I told them I was away from town. Then I realized I was on my house phone. FML

#6692525
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4987) - you deserved it (62718)

On 12/10/2009 at 9:34am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was going into an office building. There was a boy and a man ahead of me, and the boy held the door open for me. Surprised, I said "What a nice young man," and he said. "It's ok, ma'am; my dad says to always hold the doors open for old ladies." I'm 43. FML

#6681968
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24127) - you deserved it (5608)

On 12/09/2009 at 4:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I used the bathroom that the high school shares with elementary kids. As I was pulling my pants down, my phone fell out of my pocket into the other stall. As I was reaching for it, the little girl in the other stall took it and ran away. FML

#6666980
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31638) - you deserved it (4025)

On 12/08/2009 at 5:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at Target buying four coloring books. As I was in line, the woman behind me said that buying coloring books was a good idea to keep my kids occupied. I smiled and said that it would give me a few minutes to relax. I am a 26 year old guy with no kids. The coloring books were for me. FML

#6664600
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14998) - you deserved it (33001)

On 12/08/2009 at 1:06pm - kids - by 2old4thiscrap (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was visited by Child Protective Services. Seems someone on my street reported me for neglect because I cloth diaper my children. I moved in less than 6 months ago, so I guess this is how they say, "welcome to the neighborhood" about these parts. FML

#6660369
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30259) - you deserved it (3193)

On 12/08/2009 at 2:02am - kids - by ClothMom (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my 5 year old son asked me to explain how he was born. After I told him I had a C-Section, he went to school and told everyone he was born at sea. I found out when the teacher called me. FML

#6643821
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21697) - you deserved it (5992)

On 12/07/2009 at 12:07am - kids - by proudparent (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my 5 year old on my lap. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, I love your boobies. They're a good pillow." My own kid just called me fat. FML

#6635379
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23516) - you deserved it (16278)

On 12/06/2009 at 3:28pm - kids - by Bill (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my 15 year old son told me he had his first kiss. I told him how I was the same age when I had mine, and then I told him all kinds of wild stories about things I did in my childhood and college life. Truth is, I made them all up. I didn't get kissed till I was 24, and laid till I was 28. FML

#6633448
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32369) - you deserved it (11912)

On 12/06/2009 at 12:34pm - kids - by Sadface (man) - United States (Florida)



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