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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I had to confess to my mother that I was too hungover to take her to her AA meeting. FML

#8587939
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7463) - you deserved it (31176)

On 02/23/2010 at 1:33pm - kids - by geeb - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was sitting down in a store when a stroller stopped by me. While the parents were fixing the strap, the baby looked at me, gasped, looked at me again, gasped, and then screamed. Ten minutes later, another baby looked at me and screamed. My face scares babies. FML

#8488357
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29379) - you deserved it (3630)

On 02/20/2010 at 7:03pm - kids - by Scaryman (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I lost the beautiful necklace my boyfriend gave me for Valentine's day. I looked everywhere, and couldn't find it. My sister held the bag while I dug through the stinking trash, then after I cleaned everything up, took it out of her pocket and said she was pretending it was lost. FML

#8455836
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27356) - you deserved it (2404)

On 02/19/2010 at 8:54pm - kids - by beezybees (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that when business is slow at my family-owned store, my daughter and another employee make a habit of sneaking away to the back room. I have literally been paying this kid to screw around with my daughter. FML

#8446049
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29514) - you deserved it (4631)

On 02/19/2010 at 3:36pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was teaching a special techniques class for ballet and was focusing on pirouettes. I was teaching a group of 8 year olds, and one student could do perfect triple turns one after the other. I still can't do them, and I've been dancing for 15 years. FML

#8437368
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22706) - you deserved it (5397)

On 02/19/2010 at 6:52am - kids - by JJ101 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my little sister walked in on me and my boyfriend. I told her I would give her 10$ if she just pretended it never happened. She agreed, walked out and shut the door. Later, when my parents arrived, she yells: "Nicole and Joe were naked upstairs!" FML

#8430950
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21480) - you deserved it (18337)

On 02/19/2010 at 12:31am - kids - by ohemgee23 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad decides to tell me he's taking the whole family to disney world, even my step-brother's girlfriend. But not me, because he can't "afford" it. FML

#8232410
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37472) - you deserved it (2009)

On 02/14/2010 at 12:49am - kids - by disneyworld (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, it snowed in South Carolina for the first time in 10 years. It snowed eight whole inches! I was so excited, I yelled for my kids and ran outside to build a snowman. I ran out to the steps and slipped on ice. I woke up in the hospital with a bad concussion. The snow had all melted. FML

#8210549
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29537) - you deserved it (5269)

On 02/13/2010 at 3:11pm - kids - by owwie - United States

Today, I got back from my daughter's flat in Scotland. I got a flight there yesterday morning to surprise her on her 21st birthday. Nobody told her I was coming. When I got there, it turned out she decided to get a plane to London to surprise me. £200 on flights, and I didn't even get to see her. FML

#8207424
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24117) - you deserved it (4223)

On 02/13/2010 at 1:39pm - kids - by gordy1220 (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, while I was painting, my little nephew came in and started watching me. I left to clean my brushes. When I came back into the room, my nephew had spilled paint all over the carpet making a rainbow. It took me 5 hours to clean it up. FML

#8205251
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17981) - you deserved it (7204)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:32pm - kids - by ositsranielle - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was looking through my computer's history to find a website I had visited. I found an online forum where my son was discussing how to inject Oxycontin. FML

#8132477
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27316) - you deserved it (3270)

On 02/11/2010 at 2:58pm - kids - by Rehab (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I read my mom's Facebook status. It said, "So sick of kids, can't wait for Vegas this week!" My dad, along with 12 others, liked it. I didn't even know she was going to Vegas. FML

#8129133
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24894) - you deserved it (4241)

On 02/11/2010 at 12:09pm - kids - by kbeavv - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was babysitting. The kid said he had to use the bathroom. When I told him to go ahead, he said he just did. He was on my lap. He wasn't wearing pants. FML

#8125309
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22129) - you deserved it (7097)

On 02/11/2010 at 8:33am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)



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