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Man or woman?

Today, I finally convinced my son to use the potty. Later, he saw a show on TV about a toilet monster. Now he's too scared to even step foot into the bathroom. Here's to another few months of diaper changes. FML

#10906568
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22792) - you deserved it (3901)

On 06/01/2010 at 12:43pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML

#10857993
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43139) - you deserved it (8947)

On 05/30/2010 at 4:05am - kids - by BabyDaddy (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, finally we got our toddler daughter to sleep in her own bed. The wife and I were both excited to finally have our room to ourselves. Just as our daughter was about to fall asleep, the damn cat went into her room and loudly hacked up a huge hairball. Now she's back in mommy's and daddy's bed. FML

#10725342
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26657) - you deserved it (6246)

On 05/24/2010 at 12:14am - kids - by blahblah - United States (New York)

Today, was parent appreciation day at my daughter's KG class. On the stage, each child was asked to define each parent in one word. When it was my daughter's turn, she looked at me hard, thinking. Finally, in the end she said, "My daddy is very fat." Everybody stared. FML

#10717478
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25517) - you deserved it (7136)

On 05/23/2010 at 7:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML

#10713367
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23165) - you deserved it (2970)

On 05/23/2010 at 2:02pm - kids - by rkl2010 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my family, including my 2 year old niece, went to the zoo. We were at the lion exhibit. I was holding my niece so she could get a better view of the lions. As I was holding her, the lions started to roar. She got so scared that she peed. Her diaper wasn't very absorbent, but my shirt was. FML

#10647236
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26899) - you deserved it (4129)

On 05/20/2010 at 11:20am - kids - by Soaked (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I lectured my second-grade class to be more descriptive in their writing. I gave them an assignment to describe something in the classroom. I was grading their work later, and one student wrote, "My class is taught by a fat teacher with gray hair." FML

#10541725
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25775) - you deserved it (15895)

On 05/15/2010 at 3:47am - kids - by Teaching26 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML

#9721953
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25177) - you deserved it (56129)

On 04/08/2010 at 12:27am - kids - by bleredoshia (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I bullied a kid at school, just so someone would talk to me. FML

#9154406
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15045) - you deserved it (72493)

On 03/17/2010 at 5:22am - kids - by Kid (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was at the gas station pumping gas when the lady in front of me had a little boy who asked if he could pump the gas. She said yes and then quickly answered her phone, as it was ringing. She wasn't watching him and he pulled out the pump to early, spraying gas all over me, including my face. FML

#9092499
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30562) - you deserved it (2619)

On 03/15/2010 at 12:34am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that the only reason my ex husband calls my son anymore, is to ask him to send him things on Facebook. FML

#9077229
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21943) - you deserved it (2057)

On 03/14/2010 at 4:14pm - kids - by mommy - United States

Today, I was babysitting. Being kind, I went to grab their mail, while their 4 year old ate lunch. He locked me out, wrecked the house, and let me in right when he saw their car two hours later. I didn't get paid. I paid them. FML

#8944596
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25751) - you deserved it (8467)

On 03/09/2010 at 12:19pm - kids - by lockedoutbabysitter (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my six year old daughter cut out the stomach area of four of my favorite shirts. When I asked her why she had done so she replied, "So that they fit your tummy better, Mommy." FML

#8864405
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26797) - you deserved it (5516)

On 03/06/2010 at 8:05am - kids - by Fatty (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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