Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I was woken up at 3:00 am to the sound of a tape recording of a baby crying, loudly. This has been going on for 3 nights, non stop. Why? because I brought up the subject of having a baby with my wife. Clearly, you can see where she stands. FML

#12241266
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33087) - you deserved it (11355)

On 08/01/2010 at 4:45am - kids - by kfoehslfns - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realized every time I go to take a poop, my 9 month old crawls into the bathroom and sobs at my feet. I now have to let my 9 month old sit on my lap while I shit, because I can't do it any other way. The end to all privacy has now come. FML

#12146210
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31089) - you deserved it (9531)

On 07/27/2010 at 2:44pm - kids - by mr - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend came over while I was babysitting my little brother. He wouldn't stay in bed, so my boyfriend told him,"If you don't stay in bed, the monster will eat you!" I now have to wash my brother's bedsheets, because he was too afraid to get up and go pee. FML

#12108536
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26210) - you deserved it (9730)

On 07/25/2010 at 7:21pm - kids - by animelover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my sister and I drove 800 miles with her five-year-old, her two-year-old, and her two dogs. The two-year-old got carsick five times, adding an extra three hours to the trip. The kickers? My sister is sympathy spewer and neither of them chews food very well. FML

#12097515
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23776) - you deserved it (3105)

On 07/25/2010 at 2:17am - kids - by longdrive (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was cleaning a pan. I turned the water on, and it was super hot. My reaction was to slam my hand down. On a knife. So, not only do I have a burned hand, but there's also a huge cut on it from the knife. FML

#12077410
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24088) - you deserved it (9327)

On 07/24/2010 at 1:09am - kids - by HarvestMoon_gal (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out my parents are getting divorced. They're fighting over the dog instead of my sister and me. FML

#12002440
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41738) - you deserved it (3491)

On 07/20/2010 at 12:29pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my kids surprised me when I got home. One of them played the Rocky theme song on the stereo, and the other came up to me and said, "Daddy, let's go. We need you to drop about 15 pounds before you appear in front of all of our friends at our play." FML

#11980877
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28372) - you deserved it (7346)

On 07/19/2010 at 9:59am - kids - by Cody (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, at the crack of dawn, I started a 700 mile road trip with my three children. So far, I've stopped four times, settled several arguments, cleaned up spilled yogurt and melted silly putty. 130 miles down, 570 to go. FML

#11704209
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30622) - you deserved it (11597)

On 07/06/2010 at 6:21pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, after two hours, I finally got my very cranky, sick baby to fall asleep. Five minutes later, a neighbor started shooting off fireworks. FML

#11614561
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37772) - you deserved it (3388)

On 07/02/2010 at 3:29pm - kids - by yrfavweapon - United States (New York)

Today, after suggesting to my daughter for a while that she should try out for a cheerleading team to become more confident, she went to tryouts. She didn't make the team and she's spent the last six hours in her room crying. FML

#11541731
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14482) - you deserved it (40488)

On 06/29/2010 at 1:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • Cynthia's illustrated FML
  • TFIF indeed. It's time to kick off the suit and tie and forget about work. Some of us are going out for drinks with friends, others are going to enjoy some live music and some brave fools are going to keep fit…

Friday 28 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: