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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, while I was working at child care, I told a two year old not to hit. He threw a bucket at me that bounced off my forehead. FML

#12910984
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22011) - you deserved it (4278)

On 09/05/2010 at 12:44am - kids - by kaytay2469 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that there is literally a giant hole in my son's bedroom because my son wanted to build a "secret entrance." FML

#12879183
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31510) - you deserved it (4590)

On 09/03/2010 at 12:35am - kids - by Devon - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML

#12858268
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29045) - you deserved it (3942)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was life guarding at a community pool and noticed a toddler go under water. I quickly jumped in and suddenly got a charlie horse which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML

#12843819
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25943) - you deserved it (9076)

On 08/31/2010 at 8:35pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, it's my nephew's second birthday. He was sitting on my lap, so I started tickling him. He laughed and squirmed so much, he smashed his mouth on my desk. Two bloody hours at the hospital later, he has no two front teeth. FML

#12838070
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24686) - you deserved it (8948)

On 08/31/2010 at 12:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I heard two of my students having a conversation. One asked what state Arizona was in, and the other replied Canada. I teach sixth grade social studies and they weren't joking. FML

#12837057
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32078) - you deserved it (7739)

On 08/31/2010 at 10:50am - kids - by teacher (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I pretended like I was dead to my 4 year old brother. He cried my name for a couple of seconds, then took my iPhone out of my hands and ran away laughing. FML

#12760646
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13142) - you deserved it (38757)

On 08/26/2010 at 8:19pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I wanted to punish a student for being late. I decided to start a pop quiz before he arrived. I was positive there wasn't enough time for him to finish. He scored full marks and I couldn't say a word. FML

#12693453
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8192) - you deserved it (68175)

On 08/23/2010 at 12:18am - kids - by K_M (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I went to see my mother with my kids. Before, I had told my son to give her hugs and kisses and I would buy him candy. He did, but then he told her that I said that. FML

#12693106
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8782) - you deserved it (28635)

On 08/23/2010 at 12:03am - kids - by laughxlove - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42961) - you deserved it (12856)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my aunt asked me to babysit my cousin. She gave me a warning that he says he's allergic to foods to get out of eating them. When I brought out my homemade cooking, he told me he was allergic, so I made him eat it anyway. Turns out he WAS allergic. FML

#12582997
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34645) - you deserved it (11706)

On 08/17/2010 at 1:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to go along with my mom to meet some of her old friends from high school. When they asked her about how her life was going, she said she was married, always traveling, no kids, and introduced me as the neighbor's kid she babysits. FML

#12498978
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39710) - you deserved it (2940)

On 08/13/2010 at 12:28pm - kids - by Bullet - United States

Today, I was at the pool with two boys I baby sit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML

#12498801
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35552) - you deserved it (8833)

On 08/13/2010 at 12:14pm - kids - by qtpieo1 - United States (Ohio)



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