Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was fined because my son pushed the alarm button in the elevator. Why? There was a spider in there. FML

#7113361
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20987) - you deserved it (2523)

On 01/02/2010 at 10:22pm - kids - by arachnidphobia (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, the 6 year old girl I was babysitting asked me, "Why are you so ugly? Are you an alien? Because aliens are about as ugly as you are." FML

#7079923
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29169) - you deserved it (3172)

On 01/01/2010 at 10:41am - kids - by silverstar189 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 4 year old daughter was looking at a magazine cover with a well endowed model showing off her clevage. She looked at me and said, "Mommy, when I grow up will I have big round boobies like her or tiny pointy ones like you?" FML

#7079219
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29189) - you deserved it (3948)

On 01/01/2010 at 9:12am - kids - by andy - United States (New York)

Today, my 7 year old looks at me and states, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML

#7050421
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23986) - you deserved it (9895)

On 12/31/2009 at 2:39am - kids - by Missyangel (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in a busy airport bathroom with my three year old son. While in the process of pulling my pants down, my son decided to open the stall door. I jumped up to yank the door closed but not before the line of waiting women saw me with my pants wrapped around my ankles. FML

#7039639
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21969) - you deserved it (3635)

On 12/30/2009 at 5:42pm - kids - by doody (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I gave my 7 year old a snowglobe. I had spent the last week deconstructing it, putting an action figure of his favorite cartoon character inside, and then putting it back together. Later, I find it smashed into pieces because he wanted to "play with the toy it came with." FML

#6998138
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22003) - you deserved it (6087)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was watching 'Caillou'. It was a Christmas special for pre-schoolers. I was quite enjoying myself, when it hit me that my kid had been in bed for an hour. I forget what adult TV is. FML

#6979481
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16249) - you deserved it (4556)

On 12/27/2009 at 8:36pm - kids - by Jen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

#6937557
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29032) - you deserved it (6670)

On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I learned just how much change a toddler can stuff in to a Nintendo Wii. I also learned that those things are put together with special screws. FML

#6919717
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19686) - you deserved it (3289)

On 12/24/2009 at 10:49am - kids - by Gameless Guy - United States

Today, I found out where my $300 worth of American Eagle and Hollister clothes had disappeared to. My 16 year old sister shredded them with scissors, took pictures of it for her Myspace and said that I deserved it for being a "conformist." All her "internet friends" said it was awesome. FML

#6901032
462 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28719) - you deserved it (9178)

On 12/23/2009 at 11:05am - kids - by meep (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I tried to rid my son of his pacifier. He still uses it to sleep. My son is 20 years old. FML

#6783679
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27587) - you deserved it (20137)

On 12/16/2009 at 8:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was at the theatre with my 4-year-old son who was situated on my lap. Halfway through the movie, he turns to face me and states loudly, "Mommy, your legs are so furry!". Everyone watching the show turned and stared at us. FML

#6747789
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19676) - you deserved it (7604)

On 12/14/2009 at 1:58am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw my four-year-old son running around outside, and copying everything our dog was doing. I thought it was cute, so I went to grab the camera. When I went back outside, I saw my dog eating a dead rabbit, and my son doing the same. FML

#6741094
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33837) - you deserved it (5212)

On 12/13/2009 at 7:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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