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Today, I left for work. Halfway to my car, my neighbour's son jumped out and emptied a bucket of water all over me. The little pissant screamed with laughter and ran back to his house. His mum's reaction was essentially "kids will be kids" and slamming the door on me. FML

#21074103
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40112) - you deserved it (3256)

On 02/28/2014 at 3:01pm - kids - by HeMayHaveSomeIssues (man) - Denmark

Today, in public, one of my mom's friends asked me how on earth did I get so tall, my mom happily scampered to my side and shrieked: 'TWO YEARS OF BREAST MILK'. FML

#21073837
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39231) - you deserved it (3506)

On 02/28/2014 at 4:06am - kids - by Ohgodmother (man) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, I wanted to pretend to have a seizure so my baby sister could know when to call 911. When I fell down and started to pretend, she decided to drink my soda instead of helping me. FML

#21071750
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37598) - you deserved it (14743)

On 02/25/2014 at 10:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that my son set up a telescope in the attic not so he could study astronomy like he told me, but so he could spy on the girl across the street. FML

#21070645
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34703) - you deserved it (6562)

On 02/24/2014 at 7:51pm - kids - by sonwhy - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML

#21069587
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42714) - you deserved it (5434)

On 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm - kids - by hot sweet.... not (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, I'm eight months pregnant with my second child. My 18-month-old son loves to watch my belly move when his baby brother moves. And then loves to smack my belly. It's going to be a long eighteen years. FML

Today, while waiting in line at a store, a toddler behind me was throwing a major meltdown while his father yelled at him, giving me a migraine. I turned to the woman behind me and said, "Can you believe this kid? I feel sorry for his mother." Turns out the woman was his mother. FML

#21064367
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25048) - you deserved it (41845)

On 02/18/2014 at 11:31am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after 3 weeks of hard work, I finally finished painting my room. Apparently my 6-year-old brother thought I wasn't done and that he should help me out. I now have little red handprints all over my white walls. FML

#21063710
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35546) - you deserved it (4679)

On 02/17/2014 at 8:01pm - kids - by LittleArtist - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went to pick up my goddaughter while her mother went to work. She was being fussy, and I was surprised when she was quiet in the car; I just figured she'd fallen asleep. I got to my house and realized I'd never put her in my car, she was still sitting in my friend's driveway. FML

#21062639
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18961) - you deserved it (43923)

On 02/16/2014 at 5:44pm - kids - by lyss - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

#21059009
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31495) - you deserved it (47578)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I discovered that when one of my toddlers throws up, the other sympathy-pukes too, and that this continues until they're both empty. I guess my car is going to stink of vomit for a while. FML

#21057222
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40268) - you deserved it (3230)

On 02/11/2014 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I found my daughter's "sex songs" playlist. I was more disappointed by her poor taste in music than the fact that she is already sexually active. FML

#21056009
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41088) - you deserved it (7223)

On 02/10/2014 at 1:42am - kids - by aarong (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was breast feeding my son. Out of nowhere, he bit my nipple hard, causing me to scream in pain. He giggled with my nipple still between his teeth. FML



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