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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my daughter got engaged. Her fiancé is not only 25 years older than her, but was her teacher in middle school. FML

#13768477
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46016) - you deserved it (4026)

On 11/08/2010 at 7:38pm - kids - by - (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

#13756412
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20541) - you deserved it (59621)

On 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my sixteen year old son told me that he's following his guidance counselor's advice: to do what his hero does for a living. The problem? His hero is SpongeBob Squarepants. His ambition in life is to become a fry cook. FML

#13753652
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24897) - you deserved it (4055)

On 11/07/2010 at 3:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was jogging, and I saw a little boy walking. Crying and all alone. Thinking that he was probably lost, I asked to him with my sweetest voice: 'Hi there, did you lose somebody?' He screamed terrified and ran away. This is the second time this has happened to me. FML

#13749497
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24602) - you deserved it (5211)

On 11/07/2010 at 6:14am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I was playing with my four month old daughter, flying her in the air like an airplane. I open my mouth saying 'Weeee', and she vomited on my face. FML

#13734047
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24551) - you deserved it (14273)

On 11/06/2010 at 1:18am - kids - by Username - France

Today, I took my four year old son to the playground. When it was time to go, he squirmed out of my arms back to the jungle gym. Not being the type of mother to put up with bad behavior, I swatted his rear and told him we had to go. That's when I realized I'd just spanked the wrong child who was wearing the same coat as my son. FML

#13726348
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14170) - you deserved it (44096)

On 11/05/2010 at 1:29pm - kids - by lilmamma - United States (California)

Today, my 5 year old son and I went out. As I was looking in the window display of a shop, I turned around to witness my son pooping in an open manhole on the street. FML

#13718140
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28391) - you deserved it (8620)

On 11/04/2010 at 7:54pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home to find my younger daughter left her silly band collection on the carpet in front of the fireplace. I now have melted unicorns and princesses stuck in my carpet. FML

#13716759
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23704) - you deserved it (3672)

On 11/04/2010 at 5:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I moved back in with my parents in order to help them with the mortgage, so they don't lose the house that has been in our family for three generations. I also found out that I now have a curfew, and so does my husband and our 3 year old son. FML

#13685830
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32706) - you deserved it (4498)

On 11/02/2010 at 8:17am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was running a marathon for my school. Two hot girls started talking to me, so I glanced at them and smiled. I turned back, just in time to knee a little boy in the face. FML

#13662632
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21775) - you deserved it (6990)

On 10/31/2010 at 11:34am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my son stuck coins in our DVD player. It would be cute if he wasn't 25. FML

#13651777
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34223) - you deserved it (5330)

On 10/30/2010 at 4:42pm - kids - by idiot - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML

#13645205
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39142) - you deserved it (10666)

On 10/30/2010 at 1:07am - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Taranaki)

Today, as a physics teacher, I was testing a class to see how high a sound frequency they could hear. One girl claimed she could hear the sound even though it was physically impossible. Without thinking, I replied "Only dogs can hear this frequency." Needless to say, she was picked on all day. FML

#13636606
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26689) - you deserved it (11624)

On 10/29/2010 at 8:17am - kids - by mrtut (man) - United Kingdom (Merseyside)



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