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Today, I noticed a weird smell coming from my four year old daughter's room. I went to investigate and found she had been using (and hiding) her garbage can as a toilet for when she "can't make it in time." FML

#15420091
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31778) - you deserved it (3891)

On 03/21/2011 at 8:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

#15405912
489 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34729) - you deserved it (48709)

On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)

Today, my son was on Facebook while he was supposed to be studying. He called me a liar and accused me of making up excuses to chew him out. How do I know he was online? He liked and commented on a video I posted. My son is a dumbass. FML

#15398872
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46840) - you deserved it (8187)

On 03/20/2011 at 12:10pm - kids - by parenting_failure (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I dragged my son along with me to a work party because I didn't want him home by himself. Halfway through, he stood up and made an announcement about my pregnancy. I had to explain to all my coworkers and my boss that I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. FML

#15392529
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32994) - you deserved it (9509)

On 03/20/2011 at 12:26am - kids - by embarassed - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at the Mommy and Me dance class that I take my four year old daughter to, the instructor had us do a stretch, telling us to pretend we're mermaids. My daughter said to me, "But you're not a mermaid, you're a whale!" FML

#15385688
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38915) - you deserved it (7193)

On 03/19/2011 at 5:04pm - kids - by Abby_gummibear (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, we were going to Disney World all the way from North Carolina. After 12 hours of driving, my kids started fighting and complaining. My husband finally said, "If I hear you guys one more time we're turning around and going back home." They annoyed him once again, and we actually went home. FML

#15381959
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48407) - you deserved it (7858)

On 03/19/2011 at 12:00pm - kids - by jaimie - United States (Florida)

Today, I was woken up by my 5 year old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her tooth brush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML

#15364230
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31428) - you deserved it (3802)

On 03/18/2011 at 5:25am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

#15345509
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31975) - you deserved it (4777)

On 03/17/2011 at 12:04am - kids - by Username -

Today, I thought I'd take my little sister to the park. After getting bored of playing on the climbers, she thought it would be funny to throw some mud at me; too bad mud wasn’t the only chunky brown stuff on the ground. FML

#15341897
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28871) - you deserved it (3498)

On 03/16/2011 at 8:50pm - kids - by Abeille (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after my 22 year old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML

#15339337
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41827) - you deserved it (11219)

On 03/16/2011 at 6:05pm - kids - by WTF -

Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal, my son had pooped in the school yard then gave the teacher a ziploc bag and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML

#15328400
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36480) - you deserved it (5576)

On 03/15/2011 at 10:05pm - kids - by anonymous -

Today, the bus came to pick up my daughter to take her to kindergarten. When it honked, I opened the door for her to let her run out to it. Halfway there she tripped and started crying. I couldn't run out because I was still in my underwear. Now her bus thinks I'm the worst mom ever. FML

#15313960
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17350) - you deserved it (38687)

On 03/14/2011 at 10:25pm - kids - by mommylovesu (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, a frog made my hot tub his new home. I can't stand frogs and he moves lightening fast. I think the only way to get rid of him is to turn the heat on and boil him. Which I would do if my daughter didn't already adore him. FML

#15312414
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26500) - you deserved it (10061)

On 03/14/2011 at 8:57pm - kids - by BSwan (woman) - Australia



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