Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I asked my mom why she decided to be a parent. She replied, in all seriousness, "Everyone else was doing it." FML

#13321505
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23502) - you deserved it (3288)

On 10/04/2010 at 8:57pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my four year old daughter pulled her pants down in the middle of Best Buy. Apparently, you can smell the farts better when they don't have to pass through clothing. FML

#13312784
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28049) - you deserved it (4588)

On 10/04/2010 at 1:48am - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year old son answered the door and when he saw me said, 'oh great, it's YOU' and slammed the door in my face. FML

#13300010
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23963) - you deserved it (4398)

On 10/03/2010 at 3:40am - kids - by notyouagain (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

#13293107
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39115) - you deserved it (9295)

On 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm - kids - by blah blah daddy - United States (California)

Today, my four-year-old asked me when I was going to die. I replied "Not for a long time, why?" He looked at me and stated "Because I only want to live with Daddy." FML

#13284441
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38086) - you deserved it (4077)

On 10/02/2010 at 1:07am - kids - by notsoonenufdeparted - United States (California)

Today, my daughter watched a potty training video on Sesame Street. In the middle of the video, she got up and ran to her potty to practice. She then announced, "All done!", and proudly closed the lid to her potty. She then immediately stood on top of it and peed. FML

#13252455
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22824) - you deserved it (3112)

On 09/29/2010 at 6:47pm - kids - by Mommy (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, there were a few loud and annoying kids running around my store. My coworker and I started talking and I jokingly stated "Yeah, kids ruin everything." But before I could get out "God knows I'm not ready to be a dad," my phone rang. It was my one night stand. I'm going to be a daddy. FML

#13180863
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11821) - you deserved it (66008)

On 09/24/2010 at 7:25am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was in a store when a child looked at me and said to his mother "look at that tall man!" His mother replied "he's an evil giant isn't he, darling?" I then mimed being an evil giant to make the kid laugh. His mother slapped me. FML

#13140704
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32316) - you deserved it (4304)

On 09/21/2010 at 8:44am - kids - by cganon - United Kingdom

Today, whilst working as a language assistant in Germany as part of my degree, some 9 year-old German kids asked me to please speak English to them because my German was so poor. FML

#13139163
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10957) - you deserved it (14287)

On 09/21/2010 at 3:10am - kids - by themildthings (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, while tearfully telling my closest friends that I had miscarried my first pregnancy, the first thing out of their mouths was, 'So, does this mean you're going to start drinking with us again?' FML

#13071693
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33295) - you deserved it (3592)

On 09/16/2010 at 6:59am - kids - by mommymo (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I got the car of my dreams. My daughter also learned how to write her name. Now I have "LAUREN" across the side of my car. FML

#13030264
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23984) - you deserved it (4152)

On 09/13/2010 at 1:41am - kids - by llozano715 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

#13026235
418 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29016) - you deserved it (26920)

On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was moving. While packing, I found an old photo that had been laying face down in the bottom of a drawer for some time, and some of the ink transfered to the drawer lining. There is now an image of my ex-girlfriend's face permanently burned into the bottom of my nightstand drawer. FML

#12998740
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26035) - you deserved it (5095)

On 09/11/2010 at 12:53am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: