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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I took off the training wheels of my niece's bike. I tried to show her how to ride it, but she told me to get off because I needed a fat girl's bike. FML

#19510185
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25587) - you deserved it (6328)

On 04/22/2012 at 8:09am - kids - by Mary Kathryn (woman) - United States (California)

Today, just three days into a much-needed vacation, my 5-year-old daughter has come down with chickenpox. FML

#19506511
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25338) - you deserved it (2919)

On 04/21/2012 at 3:26pm - kids - by Lorena - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I came home from work to find my kids playing Frisbee with my collection of rare, valuable vinyl records. The term "smash hit record" took on a whole new meaning. FML

#19488464
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27770) - you deserved it (2740)

On 04/18/2012 at 2:57am - kids - by ChampionshipVinyl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my daughter has been watching Supernatural and The X-Files so she'll fit in better at school. I'm not even angry that she's suddenly a brain-dead conformist, it's just that she now has nightmares all the time and insists on sleeping in my bed. She's a kicker. FML

#19479496
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23118) - you deserved it (5566)

On 04/16/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by orangechicken (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my daughter told me that when she dies, she'd like her ashes spread on her laptop. FML

#19475890
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25619) - you deserved it (3419)

On 04/15/2012 at 11:10pm - kids - by sigh (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, despite the fact that I'm really sick, my mom insisted that I come home and help babysit my cousins this weekend. When I got there, everyone else took off to do "errands," leaving me with three hyperactive, howler monkey-like children to deal with. FML

#19467974
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24488) - you deserved it (2711)

On 04/14/2012 at 6:19pm - kids - by Rory - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I surprised my daughter by telling her that I'm going to treat the family to a trip to the Himalayas in a few months. She promptly threw a tantrum and listed her main reasons for not wanting us to go: "It's a freaking desert there," and, "I'll miss the new Spiderman movie." FML

#19463259
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26292) - you deserved it (4051)

On 04/13/2012 at 9:01pm - kids - by neverakid (man) - United States

Today, my son had to call me from his school's principal's office because he was disrupting his health class by laughing whenever the teacher said "sex". My son is 16. FML

#19453519
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27555) - you deserved it (4039)

On 04/12/2012 at 12:18am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my seven-year-old told me to lose weight. Her reason? There's a family fun day coming up at her school and she is embarrassed. FML

#19447542
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19921) - you deserved it (22070)

On 04/11/2012 at 1:04am - kids - by vanessax (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my daughter sat me down for a long talk. It turns out that she thinks she is the Chosen One. FML

Today, I realized the reason my 20-year-old daughter has been so moody and aggressive is because she missed the promotional My Little Pony toys at McDonald's. FML

#19430484
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25264) - you deserved it (4997)

On 04/08/2012 at 2:55pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML

#19401263
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15719) - you deserved it (25829)

On 04/03/2012 at 2:19pm - kids - by potatoebee - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML

#19393049
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27069) - you deserved it (2714)

On 04/02/2012 at 1:38am - kids - by baldspot (woman) - Australia



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