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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, while changing my clothes, my 3 year old daughter informed me that I looked like a zebra. Noticing my shocked face, she tried comforting me by telling me I was a pretty zebra because I was a purple zebra. She was talking about my stretch marks. FML

#14451100
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30095) - you deserved it (4052)

On 01/03/2011 at 1:56pm - kids - by jenabp - United States (Arizona)

Today, my little sister put on some black eyeliner on my eyes. About half an hour later, my eyes started to hurt. Eyeliner never hurt for me; so I went to the bathroom to check it out. My sister wasn't using eyeliner. It was a black watercolor pencil. Now I have black bits inside my eyes. FML

#14430007
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23916) - you deserved it (5578)

On 01/01/2011 at 9:48pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realized that I'll have to explain to my child that mommy and daddy met on World of Warcraft. FML

#14376347
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14905) - you deserved it (48508)

On 12/29/2010 at 12:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my little girl spoke her first word. It was ''Daddy''. Daddy left before she was born and she has never met him before. FML

#14368854
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42607) - you deserved it (4436)

On 12/28/2010 at 11:47am - kids - by Anonymous - Netherlands

Today, I took my kids to the doctor. In the waiting room, a six year old boy walked up to me, punched me in the crotch, and ran away with my glasses. When the kid's parents made him give me my glasses back, he spat on them. FML

#14354901
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30173) - you deserved it (2787)

On 12/27/2010 at 6:29am - kids - by DeadDude -

Today, I rented a copy How To Train Your Dragon for my young son to watch. I put the DVD in, hit play without paying attention, and went off to make lunch. A few minutes later, my son ran into the kitchen screaming. Apparently, there was a mix up at the rental store and I got a copy of Saw IV. FML

#14337359
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38508) - you deserved it (10400)

On 12/25/2010 at 6:21pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I helped out with makeup at my daughter's high school play. As one girl walked past, I told her that she'd smudged pink lipstick all up the side of her face. Turns out it was a birthmark. She cried in the dressing room for half an hour. FML

#14317962
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27404) - you deserved it (10682)

On 12/24/2010 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

#14295570
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35135) - you deserved it (8710)

On 12/22/2010 at 6:43am - kids - by lerouxmaster -

Today, I took my two kids to a Christmas festival with a train theme. I spent $24 on conductor hats for them. When I gave them the hats, they threw them on the ground and put the red paper bags they came in on their heads. FML

#14289494
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20714) - you deserved it (6397)

On 12/21/2010 at 8:15pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a ride in a friend's car. As I sat down, her younger brother started laughing hysterically from the backseat. In between giggles, he admitted he peed there a few minutes ago. FML

#14223629
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26288) - you deserved it (2374)

On 12/16/2010 at 12:07pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I went to pick up my daughter from preschool. When I got there, I ran to give her a hug. She screamed and ran away. FML

#14222571
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29898) - you deserved it (4030)

On 12/16/2010 at 9:35am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, as I spent my last $6 on groceries, the woman at the register gave me a dirty look because I declined to donate $1 to a children's charity. My six year old son immediately chimed in with, "Mommy, why aren't you helping the poor children?" FML

#14220107
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36813) - you deserved it (4996)

On 12/16/2010 at 12:49am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML

#14209243
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40329) - you deserved it (9557)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)



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