Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I took the 6 year old I'm babysitting to the mall to see Santa after weeks of her begging. We got there in time to see him get out of his Prius and dress in the parking lot. FML

#18445536
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29238) - you deserved it (2970)

On 12/06/2011 at 4:01pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I took my kids to the mall to see Santa. While waiting in line, my eldest got bored and loudly complained, "I don't know why we're here. Santa's not even real." I don't think any of the kids within a hundred feet took the news very well. FML

#18438378
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29911) - you deserved it (4371)

On 12/05/2011 at 6:32pm - kids - by santashelper - United States

Today, my parents insisted that despite the fact I've just turned sixteen, I have to save them money by ordering from the children's menu, because I "still look like a twelve year old". FML

#18419165
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30822) - you deserved it (3820)

On 12/03/2011 at 1:19pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was putting up Christmas lights, my younger brother wouldn't stop pestering me. It seems he hadn't forgotten the time I gave myself an electric shock last year, and he wanted to see if I'd do it again. FML

#18419129
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21911) - you deserved it (3267)

On 12/03/2011 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

#18418543
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58749) - you deserved it (5862) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/03/2011 at 11:24am - kids - by perenoel - France

Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML

#18410529
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37944) - you deserved it (6295)

On 12/02/2011 at 8:22am - kids - by jessi - United States

Today, I was helping first-graders do school work when one of them stabbed me in the face with a pencil, all because I told her that a three was backwards. FML

#18396492
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28088) - you deserved it (3052)

On 11/30/2011 at 6:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, it's my soon to be 12 year old daughter's birthday. On my break at work I texted her how much I loved her and happy birthday. She replied with, "K, when will you be home? Mom won't let me open presents until you're here." Good to know I'm loved. FML

#18394511
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30142) - you deserved it (4810)

On 11/30/2011 at 2:55pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the recycling bin caught fire. My little brother was "experimenting" with his magnifying glass, set an egg carton on fire and didn't realise you had to put it out before throwing it in the bin. FML

#18354691
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23383) - you deserved it (2295)

On 11/26/2011 at 6:38am - kids - by Annon - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML

#18336712
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34328) - you deserved it (3563)

On 11/24/2011 at 12:07pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my brother lost his first tooth, so I told him the tooth fairy is going to give him money. He now thinks The Rock is going to show up in his room. FML

#18327184
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32698) - you deserved it (6627)

On 11/23/2011 at 2:14pm - kids - by G. Briones -

Today, I discovered my wife and I have referred to our two-year-old as 'cutie' or 'beautiful' so many times she won't respond to her own name. FML

#18304597
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13053) - you deserved it (39743)

On 11/21/2011 at 1:23am - kids - by BadFather (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 11 year old sister deleted me off Facebook because I'm not "cool enough" to be seen on her profile. FML

#18302175
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29186) - you deserved it (5343)

On 11/20/2011 at 9:21pm - kids - by sourcandy013 - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: