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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I called my mum, crying because of my low self-esteem. She interrupted my sobs by saying, "Can I hang up now? The phone's getting hot." FML

#19567483
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23374) - you deserved it (5700)

On 05/03/2012 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I was visiting my 8-year-old nephew. He told me he learned about fire safety, so I asked him what he'd do if there were a fire right now. He pushed me out of the way and I fell, then he ran over me and out the front door, leaving me on the floor in pain. FML

#19555079
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22162) - you deserved it (4116)

On 04/30/2012 at 8:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old daughter to remove the handcuffs her father had placed on her as a joke. He didn't know they were real. FML

#19551468
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24150) - you deserved it (2358)

On 04/30/2012 at 12:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up, got up, and felt something crunchy under my feet. My son thought it would be funny if he spread cat litter all around the house. Used cat litter. FML

#19536955
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25572) - you deserved it (2426)

On 04/27/2012 at 11:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that my daughter refuses to eat, but not because she's anorexic. Apparently, her health class has learned about the digestive system and now she refuses to "take part in something so gross." FML

#19530621
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27068) - you deserved it (2531)

On 04/26/2012 at 12:36am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML

#19527875
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28656) - you deserved it (8387)

On 04/25/2012 at 4:06pm - kids - by KC (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I finally found the jewelry my two-year-old son had lost when it got lodged in my foot. FML

#19526699
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19924) - you deserved it (2515)

On 04/25/2012 at 10:33am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my son told me he needed a haircut. I was thrilled that he actually requested it, since he normally throws a fit over getting them. He described the cut he wants. It's a mullet. FML

#19523693
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26579) - you deserved it (3138)

On 04/24/2012 at 7:59pm - kids - by DaveAlmighty (man) - United States

Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML

#19517989
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33613) - you deserved it (5909)

On 04/23/2012 at 6:51pm - kids - by sadmommy - United States (Texas)

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

#19511225
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24549) - you deserved it (2581)

On 04/22/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I took off the training wheels of my niece's bike. I tried to show her how to ride it, but she told me to get off because I needed a fat girl's bike. FML

#19510185
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25584) - you deserved it (6328)

On 04/22/2012 at 8:09am - kids - by Mary Kathryn (woman) - United States (California)

Today, just three days into a much-needed vacation, my 5-year-old daughter has come down with chickenpox. FML

#19506511
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25333) - you deserved it (2919)

On 04/21/2012 at 3:26pm - kids - by Lorena - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I came home from work to find my kids playing Frisbee with my collection of rare, valuable vinyl records. The term "smash hit record" took on a whole new meaning. FML

#19488464
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27646) - you deserved it (2731)

On 04/18/2012 at 2:57am - kids - by ChampionshipVinyl - Canada (Ontario)



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