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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got diarrhea while on a trip with my daughters. At our third stop, I had to sit in the stall listening to my 5 year-old informing everyone who came in that "mommy is stopping at EVERY bathroom to poop." FML

#14493785
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25234) - you deserved it (2949)

On 01/07/2011 at 3:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my 2 year-old son decided to pee on the dog for the second day in a row. I'm afraid this will turn into a routine thing. FML

#14490872
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24588) - you deserved it (4557)

On 01/06/2011 at 10:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I have been teaching my 5 year-old step-daughter how to read and write. She came bounding up to me with a piece of paper and said, "look what I did". It was a letter that said "My dad misses my real mommy, not you". FML

#14478840
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31843) - you deserved it (4520)

On 01/05/2011 at 9:19pm - kids - by yingyang2 - United States

Today, I took my daughter to the library instead of the pool. I sat her on the counter and, while I reached for my library card, she turned to the librarian and said "We didn't go to the pool today because Mum has hairy legs." FML

#14459549
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24263) - you deserved it (11917)

On 01/04/2011 at 3:05am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while changing my clothes, my 3 year old daughter informed me that I looked like a zebra. Noticing my shocked face, she tried comforting me by telling me I was a pretty zebra because I was a purple zebra. She was talking about my stretch marks. FML

#14451100
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30073) - you deserved it (4051)

On 01/03/2011 at 1:56pm - kids - by jenabp - United States (Arizona)

Today, my little sister put on some black eyeliner on my eyes. About half an hour later, my eyes started to hurt. Eyeliner never hurt for me; so I went to the bathroom to check it out. My sister wasn't using eyeliner. It was a black watercolor pencil. Now I have black bits inside my eyes. FML

#14430007
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23906) - you deserved it (5575)

On 01/01/2011 at 9:48pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realized that I'll have to explain to my child that mommy and daddy met on World of Warcraft. FML

#14376347
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14899) - you deserved it (48500)

On 12/29/2010 at 12:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my little girl spoke her first word. It was ''Daddy''. Daddy left before she was born and she has never met him before. FML

#14368854
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42589) - you deserved it (4436)

On 12/28/2010 at 11:47am - kids - by Anonymous - Netherlands

Today, I took my kids to the doctor. In the waiting room, a six year old boy walked up to me, punched me in the crotch, and ran away with my glasses. When the kid's parents made him give me my glasses back, he spat on them. FML

#14354901
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30154) - you deserved it (2787)

On 12/27/2010 at 6:29am - kids - by DeadDude -

Today, I rented a copy How To Train Your Dragon for my young son to watch. I put the DVD in, hit play without paying attention, and went off to make lunch. A few minutes later, my son ran into the kitchen screaming. Apparently, there was a mix up at the rental store and I got a copy of Saw IV. FML

#14337359
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38479) - you deserved it (10396)

On 12/25/2010 at 6:21pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I helped out with makeup at my daughter's high school play. As one girl walked past, I told her that she'd smudged pink lipstick all up the side of her face. Turns out it was a birthmark. She cried in the dressing room for half an hour. FML

#14317962
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27383) - you deserved it (10681)

On 12/24/2010 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

#14295570
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35115) - you deserved it (8705)

On 12/22/2010 at 6:43am - kids - by lerouxmaster -

Today, I took my two kids to a Christmas festival with a train theme. I spent $24 on conductor hats for them. When I gave them the hats, they threw them on the ground and put the red paper bags they came in on their heads. FML

#14289494
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20706) - you deserved it (6397)

On 12/21/2010 at 8:15pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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