Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I rented a copy How To Train Your Dragon for my young son to watch. I put the DVD in, hit play without paying attention, and went off to make lunch. A few minutes later, my son ran into the kitchen screaming. Apparently, there was a mix up at the rental store and I got a copy of Saw IV. FML

#14337359
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38043) - you deserved it (10289)

On 12/25/2010 at 6:21pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I helped out with makeup at my daughter's high school play. As one girl walked past, I told her that she'd smudged pink lipstick all up the side of her face. Turns out it was a birthmark. She cried in the dressing room for half an hour. FML

#14317962
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27374) - you deserved it (10677)

On 12/24/2010 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

#14295570
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35087) - you deserved it (8700)

On 12/22/2010 at 6:43am - kids - by lerouxmaster -

Today, I took my two kids to a Christmas festival with a train theme. I spent $24 on conductor hats for them. When I gave them the hats, they threw them on the ground and put the red paper bags they came in on their heads. FML

#14289494
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20697) - you deserved it (6395)

On 12/21/2010 at 8:15pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a ride in a friend's car. As I sat down, her younger brother started laughing hysterically from the backseat. In between giggles, he admitted he peed there a few minutes ago. FML

#14223629
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26260) - you deserved it (2372)

On 12/16/2010 at 12:07pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I went to pick up my daughter from preschool. When I got there, I ran to give her a hug. She screamed and ran away. FML

#14222571
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29862) - you deserved it (4027)

On 12/16/2010 at 9:35am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, as I spent my last $6 on groceries, the woman at the register gave me a dirty look because I declined to donate $1 to a children's charity. My six year old son immediately chimed in with, "Mommy, why aren't you helping the poor children?" FML

#14220107
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36769) - you deserved it (4992)

On 12/16/2010 at 12:49am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML

#14209243
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40005) - you deserved it (9499)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112372) - you deserved it (15231)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke up to my kids shaking me, saying, "Get up, Santa was here!" I got up to find my TV, computer and MacBook Air all gone. FML

#14191427
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36402) - you deserved it (3064)

On 12/13/2010 at 2:32pm - kids - by crazycora (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I asked my mother why she didn't drink. She laughed and said, "The last time I drank was the night you were conceived. I didn't need any other disasters." FML

#14180759
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33633) - you deserved it (4043)

On 12/12/2010 at 4:55pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my thirteen month old son woke me up at 6AM on my day off, by punching me in the eye. FML

#14165047
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23411) - you deserved it (5462)

On 12/11/2010 at 11:16am - kids - by blueberry_hill (woman) - United States (Kansas)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: