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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my little brother discovered that bears can be very territorial and will pee on things to keep others away. He took this new found information to heart and peed on various things in the house that he wanted for himself, including my laptop. FML

#14774020
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32558) - you deserved it (2956)

On 01/30/2011 at 12:21pm - kids - by Joey - United States (California)

Today, I was rudely stopped in the park by a woman screaming at me for being a slut for having a baby so young. She got so worked up that she started swearing. Not only was I just babysitting for a friend, I am unable to get the toddler to stop swearing. FML

#14772330
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40589) - you deserved it (2679)

On 01/30/2011 at 9:46am - kids - by QuicksilverMaximoff (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)

Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML

#14741730
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36910) - you deserved it (8164)

On 01/28/2011 at 9:25am - kids - by duckthehack (man) - Poland (Wielkopolskie)

Today, my 4 year old cousin is staying overnight. Every time I fall asleep he wakes me up to tell me I fell asleep. FML

#14716778
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32384) - you deserved it (3340)

On 01/26/2011 at 2:48am - kids - by Braelynn -

Today, I was grounded for not agreeing with an article on dating my mom found in a very strict magazine. The article told parents to monitor phone calls, make rumors about their children cheating on people and not allow their children anywhere but home. FML

#14694705
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39215) - you deserved it (2710)

On 01/24/2011 at 2:29am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I was at my doctor's office. I thought I had a kidney stone. Turns out I'm pregnant and I have a kidney stone. FML

#14689339
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30439) - you deserved it (4754)

On 01/23/2011 at 7:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the hospital to visit my aunt and her newborn baby. The receptionist gave me the room number, and I went and my aunt was in the bathroom so I cuddle the baby, only to find that the woman who came out of the bathroom was a complete stranger. I was holding her baby. FML

#14682600
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29493) - you deserved it (7228)

On 01/23/2011 at 2:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML

#14644616
364 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33875) - you deserved it (7627)

On 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while snow plowing I accidentally ran over my kid's basketball. I told him what had happened and he responded by spilling his ant farm into my underwear drawer. FML

#14570850
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28085) - you deserved it (7165)

On 01/13/2011 at 9:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my daughter was expelled from her school for beating another kindergartener with a Dr. Seuss book. FML

#14567167
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33089) - you deserved it (7002)

On 01/13/2011 at 3:48pm - kids - by me - United States

Today, I was in a shopping centre when a little girl was running up and down the aisles. She started to fall over so I put my hand out to catch her. Her mother then ran up to me and screamed about me 'touching her child' so loud that everyone could hear. FML

#14562835
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27736) - you deserved it (2818)

On 01/13/2011 at 3:21am - kids - by notapedobear -

Today, when I went to pick my kid up from daycare, I found out that he had run away. The rest of my afternoon consisted of me screaming his name, looking for him. I then returned to the daycare center. He thought it would be funny if he hid in the trash. FML

#14560893
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28316) - you deserved it (3285)

On 01/12/2011 at 11:42pm - kids - by tatortot7707 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my baby-crazy mother expressed her concerns that I haven't conceived after a whole two months of marriage. Her advice amounted to "get divorced while you're still hot, sleep around until you get pregnant, then marry the winner." When I complained to my father, he supported her. FML

#14545580
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32792) - you deserved it (2720)

On 01/11/2011 at 1:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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