Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I came home from work to find my five year old daughter drawing unicorns on the wall. The same wall that I had to repaint last week because it had puppies on it. FML

#14093907
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24276) - you deserved it (9779)

On 12/05/2010 at 8:53am - kids - by Ed - United States (California)

Today, my son told his teacher that she "has a nice rack." He's four. FML

#14079841
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27344) - you deserved it (10215)

On 12/04/2010 at 1:50am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, I caught my daughter attempting to stick pencils up our cat's butt. FML

#14029442
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37902) - you deserved it (4763)

On 11/29/2010 at 10:03pm - kids - by Laura -

Today, a little girl pointed to the acne on my face and said to her dad, "Look at how many mosquito bites she has on her face!" FML

#14024877
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28938) - you deserved it (3444)

On 11/29/2010 at 4:17pm - kids - by nybaby - United States (New York)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I are divorcing because HE had an affair. He now wants a paternity test. FML

#14024003
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31017) - you deserved it (3111)

On 11/29/2010 at 2:20pm - kids - by preggers - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend's mother found out that I'm three months pregnant. She told my boyfriend to put it up for adoption, and now wants a paternity test. FML

#14013959
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23990) - you deserved it (4948)

On 11/28/2010 at 6:08pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 5 year old brother wanted to look through my phone. I know he can't read so I gave it to him. He was, however, able to get at my "private" photo album. FML

#14003721
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6779) - you deserved it (35859)

On 11/27/2010 at 8:57pm - kids - by lebowski - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was teaching my two year old daughter how to take a person's temperature. While I was sitting down, she came up behind me and shoved the thermometer in my ear hard. Now I can't hear out of my right ear, and I'm in excruciating pain. FML

#14003133
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25576) - you deserved it (11844)

On 11/27/2010 at 8:03pm - kids - by lovedbyallthewrongppl - United States (Michigan)

Today, while babysitting, I brought over some colouring-in sheets as an activity. I said that I should bring some Christmas-themed ones for next time. The little girl then turned to me and said "If there is a next time." I've been put on probation by an 8-year-old. FML

#13936248
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21142) - you deserved it (3577)

On 11/22/2010 at 11:33am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, instead of going to a romantic dinner with my boyfriend like I'd planned, I ended up babysitting his queasy little sister. FML

#13925206
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20220) - you deserved it (2986)

On 11/21/2010 at 1:36pm - kids - by kaileekat517 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took my two-year-old daughter swimming. While sitting in the hot tub, my daughter pointed to the elderly man sitting across from us and mumbled something. I couldn't understand her, so I asked her to repeat it. After two more attempts, she shouted, "MOM! He has big boobs!" FML

#13912441
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23034) - you deserved it (6485)

On 11/20/2010 at 2:07pm - kids - by Lexi - Canada

Today, I was putting my 2 year old to bed, and I began to sing to her. She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy." FML

#13896400
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36639) - you deserved it (12427)

On 11/19/2010 at 2:47am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, at work, a little boy shyly told his mom he thought I was cute. I smiled at him as she looked me up and down and said to him, "Eww, honey. No, you do not!" FML

#13853853
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31938) - you deserved it (2691)

On 11/15/2010 at 3:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: