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Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML

#18234448
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41689) - you deserved it (7211)

On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a kid came trick or treating to my house. When I told him Halloween was nearly two weeks ago, his reaction was to savagely kick me in the shin and run off screaming obscenities. This is the same kid who broke down in tears when I gave him candy on the real Halloween. FML

#18222610
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28782) - you deserved it (2580)

On 11/11/2011 at 9:04pm - kids - by Username - United States (Maryland)

Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant. FML

#18217676
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9492) - you deserved it (115005)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:17am - kids - by embarrassed - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML

#18202922
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30073) - you deserved it (22306)

On 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML

#18191670
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39228) - you deserved it (3872)

On 11/08/2011 at 9:01am - kids - by possiblyoverweight (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I spent over 20 minutes trying to convince my daughter that the word she was trying to use was "Back-pack" and not "Back-back". I never convinced her. She is 16 years old. FML

Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML

#18139418
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30831) - you deserved it (5341)

On 11/02/2011 at 4:18pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I overheard my dad telling his work buddy that he's disappointed in his kid. I assumed he meant my brother, for flunking out of school. He meant me, for quitting sports to focus on my studies. FML

#18137522
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32530) - you deserved it (2888)

On 11/02/2011 at 10:43am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, it's my first Halloween in America since moving from Russia. While handing candy to children, my roommate told me to compliment a little girl by saying "You have a face only a parent could love". I found out it isn't a compliment when I was punched by her Dad. FML

#18123413
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38808) - you deserved it (5334)

On 10/31/2011 at 8:18pm - kids - by VladyBoi (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

#18095977
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26792) - you deserved it (4932)

On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally found out where my great grandmother's antique handheld mirror disappeared to. According to the headmaster, my eleven year old son has been using it to look up his classmates' dresses at school. FML

#18095275
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26303) - you deserved it (3025)

On 10/28/2011 at 8:25am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was happily playing with my young niece and nephew. Their grandmother was watching and said, "You are so good with children! Why don't you have any?" My husband died 3 months ago. FML

#18076540
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51452) - you deserved it (2592)

On 10/25/2011 at 10:28pm - kids - by kiddoc - United States (New York)

Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML

#18072283
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33905) - you deserved it (2827)

On 10/25/2011 at 2:04pm - kids - by mew - Canada



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