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Today, I told my five year old daughter that no, she could not have ice cream for breakfast. She retaliated by pooping in the living room and smearing it on the walls. My in-laws, whom I've been trying to impress for ages, are visiting today. FML

#16746008
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33386) - you deserved it (6770)

On 06/19/2011 at 2:03pm - kids - by screwedwoman27 - United States

Today, I explained to my 5 year old daughter that her older sister from my husband's first marriage lives with her mommy, and my daughter lives with us. She exclaimed, "It's not fair! I want two mommies like she has! Can we swap, I like her mommy better than you anyway!" FML

#16725685
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36222) - you deserved it (4498)

On 06/18/2011 at 5:40am - kids - by stepmom (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my son invited his girlfriend over to our house just to break up with her. Then he asked me to drive her home. So I was then stuck in a car with a bawling teenage girl who lived over twenty minutes away. FML

#16692971
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38405) - you deserved it (5454)

On 06/16/2011 at 9:20am - kids - by Username - United States

Today, my son's homework was to write a story about what he wants to be when he grows up. He wrote that he plans on being unemployed and living at home until we throw him out, then he'll live under a bridge. He's only 12, but already planning for a future as an unemployed bum. FML

#16676970
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34448) - you deserved it (7989)

On 06/15/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by Seriously (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to be the one to break it to my daughter that WWE fighting was staged. She began crying. However, last month she didn't shed a single tear at her grandmother's funeral. FML

#16655787
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35979) - you deserved it (5113)

On 06/14/2011 at 2:08am - kids - by mk (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my tampons weren't ear plugs. FML

#16642737
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32315) - you deserved it (4127)

On 06/13/2011 at 10:24am - kids - by Evaki1 - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I fell asleep as my family drove to church. No one bothered to say anything about the drawings my siblings drew on my face until after church ended. FML

#16628523
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29588) - you deserved it (5251)

On 06/12/2011 at 2:47pm - kids - by Brandy_Dandy78 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my five year old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML

#16607799
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36289) - you deserved it (7130)

On 06/11/2011 at 7:12am - kids - by julia - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my cousin taught me how to make dinner. My cousin is in first grade and I'm in college. FML

#16598107
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11442) - you deserved it (37116)

On 06/10/2011 at 5:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML

#16591956
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31330) - you deserved it (12104)

On 06/10/2011 at 5:57am - kids - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, while driving with my three year old, I was showing her the different kinds of birds. I pointed out a bright red cardinal perched in a row of hedges. She squealed as it took flight, so happy to see such a brightly colored birdie fly. Until it hit my windshield. FML

#16520207
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29438) - you deserved it (4040)

On 06/05/2011 at 9:44pm - kids - by Whoops (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got to see my son's dream of being on television come true. Unfortunately, it was because he'd been arrested for trying to rob a bank. FML

#16468673
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38447) - you deserved it (5406)

On 06/02/2011 at 2:43pm - kids - by fuck (man) - United States

Today, my 12 year old cousin decided that "all men are pigs" and deleted every male contact in my phone. FML

#16434926
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37215) - you deserved it (4460)

On 05/31/2011 at 12:47pm - kids - by Ann - United States (Michigan)



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