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Today, at the Mommy and Me dance class that I take my four year old daughter to, the instructor had us do a stretch, telling us to pretend we're mermaids. My daughter said to me, "But you're not a mermaid, you're a whale!" FML

#15385688
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38151) - you deserved it (7094)

On 03/19/2011 at 5:04pm - kids - by Abby_gummibear (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, we were going to Disney World all the way from North Carolina. After 12 hours of driving, my kids started fighting and complaining. My husband finally said, "If I hear you guys one more time we're turning around and going back home." They annoyed him once again, and we actually went home. FML

#15381959
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48274) - you deserved it (7846)

On 03/19/2011 at 12:00pm - kids - by jaimie - United States (Florida)

Today, I was woken up by my 5 year old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her tooth brush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML

#15364230
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30600) - you deserved it (3731)

On 03/18/2011 at 5:25am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

#15345509
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31360) - you deserved it (4718)

On 03/17/2011 at 12:04am - kids - by Username -

Today, I thought I'd take my little sister to the park. After getting bored of playing on the climbers, she thought it would be funny to throw some mud at me; too bad mud wasn’t the only chunky brown stuff on the ground. FML

#15341897
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28760) - you deserved it (3489)

On 03/16/2011 at 8:50pm - kids - by Abeille (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after my 22 year old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML

#15339337
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41719) - you deserved it (11201)

On 03/16/2011 at 6:05pm - kids - by WTF -

Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal, my son had pooped in the school yard then gave the teacher a ziploc bag and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML

#15328400
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36371) - you deserved it (5571)

On 03/15/2011 at 10:05pm - kids - by anonymous -

Today, the bus came to pick up my daughter to take her to kindergarten. When it honked, I opened the door for her to let her run out to it. Halfway there she tripped and started crying. I couldn't run out because I was still in my underwear. Now her bus thinks I'm the worst mom ever. FML

#15313960
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17284) - you deserved it (38584)

On 03/14/2011 at 10:25pm - kids - by mommylovesu (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, a frog made my hot tub his new home. I can't stand frogs and he moves lightening fast. I think the only way to get rid of him is to turn the heat on and boil him. Which I would do if my daughter didn't already adore him. FML

#15312414
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25980) - you deserved it (9949)

On 03/14/2011 at 8:57pm - kids - by BSwan (woman) - Australia

Today, it was the début of the high school musical I was in. When two others and I sang the word "Hell", my mother yelled at us for using that language, while the musical was still going, and dragged me off stage. FML

#15281209
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41627) - you deserved it (3347)

On 03/12/2011 at 12:14am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, a little boy called me on the phone, crying "grandma died" in a broken voice. I just didn't have the heart to say "wrong number." FML

#15250352
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45883) - you deserved it (4201)

On 03/09/2011 at 10:47am - kids - by Waffle -

Today, while stuck in a traffic jam, my son silently changed my gear to reverse. FML

#15248759
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37750) - you deserved it (6414)

On 03/09/2011 at 4:52am - kids - by Anonymous - India (Karnataka)

Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered a midget. My daughter now wants to bring me to school for show and tell. FML

#15227856
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39816) - you deserved it (3880)

On 03/07/2011 at 8:47am - kids - by fourfootnine (woman) - United States (Texas)



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