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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML

#15896791
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32558) - you deserved it (22903)

On 04/23/2011 at 11:20am - kids - by parentof5 (man) - United States

Today, I was listening to my son's teacher gossip about students whilst in the grocery store. I was thrilled when she described my son as "A model student". However, she then went on to say, "Which is surprising considering that his parents are trailer trash." FML

#15895508
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40561) - you deserved it (7636)

On 04/23/2011 at 5:26am - kids - by kindgartin (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, a very attractive girl moved in across the road from me. As I was leaving, I noticed she was looking out her window at me. I tried playing it cool, only to end up tripping over my own feet, hands in pocket, and faceplanting the hood of my dad's car. FML

#15890797
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27092) - you deserved it (18266)

On 04/22/2011 at 9:39pm - kids - by NathanPlays - United States (California)

Today, I told my son that his grades are dropping and his behavior is getting out of hand. To which he replied, "Yeah, so is your weight." FML

#15843459
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36905) - you deserved it (15399)

On 04/19/2011 at 2:38am - kids - by randa -

Today, I watched Free Willy with my daughter. Later on she decided to free her 6 pet mice into the house. FML

#15838713
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27443) - you deserved it (7673)

On 04/18/2011 at 8:48pm - kids - by Jukka -

Today, I thought it would be funny to tickle my daughter's foot, which she hates. One bloody nose, multiple scratches and 4 toe-shaped bruises later, she's the one laughing. FML

#15831633
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10304) - you deserved it (52143)

On 04/18/2011 at 4:09am - kids - by B (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was cutting a little boy's hair at the hairdressers where I work. While cutting his bangs, I noticed his forehead was surprisingly warm. When I asked him if he felt OK, he threw up all over my gown. I think he had some broccoli today. FML

#15830049
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36236) - you deserved it (2878)

On 04/18/2011 at 12:46am - kids - by stickyhair (woman) - United States

Today, a young boy helped me carry my groceries home. He then asked me to sign his sheet to certify that he had done half an hour of service to the elderly. I'm 46. FML

#15818561
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35917) - you deserved it (5294)

On 04/17/2011 at 5:32am - kids - by ::Tracy:: - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I made my young niece lunch. After she claimed to have eaten it all, she wanted to go out and play. I was putting my shoes on when I found part of the sandwich I made her stuffed in my shoe. FML

#15784060
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24227) - you deserved it (4426)

On 04/14/2011 at 1:35pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw my unemployed 29-year-old son, who still lives with us, reading the work section of the newspaper and prayed that he was looking for a job. He was looking for the comics. FML

#15753911
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30009) - you deserved it (11901)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:19am - kids - by JT (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the girl I was babysitting was being disrespectful to me, so I took away her stuffed animal and told her that she couldn't have it back until she apologized. She ended up sneaking onto my laptop and deleting all the pictures I'd saved from my recent vacation to Europe. FML

#15740418
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34627) - you deserved it (18508)

On 04/11/2011 at 1:23pm - kids - by Got_any_grapes1 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I bought myself a brand-new 52" flatscreen. It was only in my house for 2 hours before my toddler had a tantrum, threw a toy right into the screen and wrecked it beyond repair. I paid to have a nice TV for 2 hours. FML

#15739723
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34679) - you deserved it (8784)

On 04/11/2011 at 12:05pm - kids - by ac32 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to call AAA because not only did I lock my keys in the car, I also locked in my toddlers. FML

#15710097
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13450) - you deserved it (42514)

On 04/09/2011 at 2:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States



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