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Today, after teaching my 4 year old son about the concept of "Stranger Danger," we had gone to a park full of people. When I walked up to him to tell him we had to leave, he ran, screaming "Stranger! Don't touch me!" FML

#16028300
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34303) - you deserved it (7219)

On 05/03/2011 at 1:01am - kids - by armywife980 -

Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML

#15960842
371 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28910) - you deserved it (41348)

On 04/28/2011 at 7:07am - kids - by oldmama728 -

Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML

#15947062
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12772) - you deserved it (38635)

On 04/27/2011 at 9:35am - kids - by BadgerSpirit (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I actually heard my 14 year old son muse to himself, "If I can drive drunk in Grand Theft Auto, how hard could it be in real life?" FML

#15935332
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39052) - you deserved it (12182)

On 04/26/2011 at 3:20pm - kids - by nomorexbox - United States (Georgia)

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML

#15896791
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32295) - you deserved it (22796)

On 04/23/2011 at 11:20am - kids - by parentof5 (man) - United States

Today, I was listening to my son's teacher gossip about students whilst in the grocery store. I was thrilled when she described my son as "A model student". However, she then went on to say, "Which is surprising considering that his parents are trailer trash." FML

#15895508
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40555) - you deserved it (7636)

On 04/23/2011 at 5:26am - kids - by kindgartin (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, a very attractive girl moved in across the road from me. As I was leaving, I noticed she was looking out her window at me. I tried playing it cool, only to end up tripping over my own feet, hands in pocket, and faceplanting the hood of my dad's car. FML

#15890797
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27083) - you deserved it (18264)

On 04/22/2011 at 9:39pm - kids - by NathanPlays - United States (California)

Today, I told my son that his grades are dropping and his behavior is getting out of hand. To which he replied, "Yeah, so is your weight." FML

#15843459
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36900) - you deserved it (15399)

On 04/19/2011 at 2:38am - kids - by randa -

Today, I watched Free Willy with my daughter. Later on she decided to free her 6 pet mice into the house. FML

#15838713
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27437) - you deserved it (7673)

On 04/18/2011 at 8:48pm - kids - by Jukka -

Today, I thought it would be funny to tickle my daughter's foot, which she hates. One bloody nose, multiple scratches and 4 toe-shaped bruises later, she's the one laughing. FML

#15831633
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10303) - you deserved it (52137)

On 04/18/2011 at 4:09am - kids - by B (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was cutting a little boy's hair at the hairdressers where I work. While cutting his bangs, I noticed his forehead was surprisingly warm. When I asked him if he felt OK, he threw up all over my gown. I think he had some broccoli today. FML

#15830049
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36235) - you deserved it (2878)

On 04/18/2011 at 12:46am - kids - by stickyhair (woman) - United States

Today, a young boy helped me carry my groceries home. He then asked me to sign his sheet to certify that he had done half an hour of service to the elderly. I'm 46. FML

#15818561
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35908) - you deserved it (5294)

On 04/17/2011 at 5:32am - kids - by ::Tracy:: - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I made my young niece lunch. After she claimed to have eaten it all, she wanted to go out and play. I was putting my shoes on when I found part of the sandwich I made her stuffed in my shoe. FML

#15784060
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24222) - you deserved it (4426)

On 04/14/2011 at 1:35pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)



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