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Man or woman?

Today, I found out that my daughter has been watching Supernatural and The X-Files so she'll fit in better at school. I'm not even angry that she's suddenly a brain-dead conformist, it's just that she now has nightmares all the time and insists on sleeping in my bed. She's a kicker. FML

#19479496
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21901) - you deserved it (5390)

On 04/16/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by orangechicken (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my daughter told me that when she dies, she'd like her ashes spread on her laptop. FML

#19475890
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24772) - you deserved it (3344)

On 04/15/2012 at 11:10pm - kids - by sigh (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, despite the fact that I'm really sick, my mom insisted that I come home and help babysit my cousins this weekend. When I got there, everyone else took off to do "errands," leaving me with three hyperactive, howler monkey-like children to deal with. FML

#19467974
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23570) - you deserved it (2633)

On 04/14/2012 at 6:19pm - kids - by Rory - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I surprised my daughter by telling her that I'm going to treat the family to a trip to the Himalayas in a few months. She promptly threw a tantrum and listed her main reasons for not wanting us to go: "It's a freaking desert there," and, "I'll miss the new Spiderman movie." FML

#19463259
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25362) - you deserved it (3966)

On 04/13/2012 at 9:01pm - kids - by neverakid (man) - United States

Today, my son had to call me from his school's principal's office because he was disrupting his health class by laughing whenever the teacher said "sex". My son is 16. FML

#19453519
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26676) - you deserved it (3952)

On 04/12/2012 at 12:18am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my seven-year-old told me to lose weight. Her reason? There's a family fun day coming up at her school and she is embarrassed. FML

#19447542
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18296) - you deserved it (20520)

On 04/11/2012 at 1:04am - kids - by vanessax (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my daughter sat me down for a long talk. It turns out that she thinks she is the Chosen One. FML

Today, I realized the reason my 20-year-old daughter has been so moody and aggressive is because she missed the promotional My Little Pony toys at McDonald's. FML

#19430484
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23227) - you deserved it (4779)

On 04/08/2012 at 2:55pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML

#19401263
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14277) - you deserved it (23720)

On 04/03/2012 at 2:19pm - kids - by potatoebee - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML

#19393049
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26254) - you deserved it (2662)

On 04/02/2012 at 1:38am - kids - by baldspot (woman) - Australia

Today, my eleven year old daughter called me a moron, after I told her she was dead wrong when she claimed that rabbits lay eggs. FML

#19376586
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24981) - you deserved it (4826)

On 03/30/2012 at 2:44pm - kids - by James (man) - United States

Today, my husband and I found out that our daughter's chronic stomach aches are due to gluten intolerance, so we need to cut all wheat out of our diet. We're bakers. FML

#19376505
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34522) - you deserved it (2854)

On 03/30/2012 at 2:28pm - kids - by MDWilde (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I had to explain to my 15-year-old son why it wouldn't be a good idea to include a picture of the red Power Ranger in his "Weapons throughout history" project. FML

#19365320
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16892) - you deserved it (2837)

On 03/28/2012 at 6:49pm - kids - by laststand11 - United States (Kentucky)



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