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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my mother-in-law thought it would be appropriate to give my five-year-old daughter some bedclothes with the Playboy logo all over them. FML

#19152626
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26572) - you deserved it (3086)

On 02/24/2012 at 8:26am - kids - by Joanne (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML

#19142654
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32176) - you deserved it (2687)

On 02/22/2012 at 10:49pm - kids - by crzyry (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while babysitting, one of the boys fell on an exposed pipe and broke it. It spewed water five feet into the air, spread water across four rooms, and completely soaked another of the boys. Their parents had only left fifteen minutes before. FML

#19112192
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22684) - you deserved it (2654)

On 02/19/2012 at 12:49am - kids - by CamoElla - United States

Today, it's been one week since my demented grandma babysat my five-year-old daughter while my husband took me to a fancy restaurant. Now she's taken to screaming and calling me a "damn commie" whenever I discipline or say no to her. FML

#19102650
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21767) - you deserved it (5313)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered that you can't always assume your little brother is kidding when he says that you have a spider on top of your head. FML

#19099040
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22625) - you deserved it (5210)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:43am - kids - by thatoneperson - United States (Virginia)

Today, the couple with three noisy toddlers in the apartment above mine finally moved out. A couple with a non-stop crying newborn moved in. FML

#19097249
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24032) - you deserved it (2650)

On 02/16/2012 at 6:30pm - kids - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, after finally getting my newborn baby to sleep, I made a sign to put on the door asking people not to knock or ring the bell, since our 3 dogs will bark loudly and wake the baby. When I went to print the sign, my dogs barked like crazy at the sound of the printer. FML

#19094403
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26755) - you deserved it (9383)

On 02/16/2012 at 4:42pm - kids - by TiredMom (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was holding my 3 year old brother, and apparently he thinks it's hilarious to pull my tank top down and scream ''BOOBS!'' in public. FML

#19093688
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32817) - you deserved it (4681)

On 02/16/2012 at 2:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I dropped my bag to run after my two year old who had bolted in the parking lot. Once he was in his seat, I got in and drove away. I felt two large thumps as I drove over my own iPad, cellphone and wallet. FML

#19093347
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29118) - you deserved it (13899)

On 02/16/2012 at 1:36pm - kids - by ray - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked out and saw four kids mercilessly keying my car. When I questioned them on it, they said "Oh, that was your car? Oh well at least we didn't pee on your door handles too." FML

#19079229
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26829) - you deserved it (1972)

On 02/14/2012 at 8:28pm - kids - by MC Turtledick - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to chase my naked brothers around my house for twenty minutes, trying to get them to take a bath, all while they were chasing my best friend around yelling, "IT'S WIENER TIME!" FML

#19076647
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26332) - you deserved it (2672)

On 02/14/2012 at 5:29pm - kids - by ShylaMarie - Canada

Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML

#19066178
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23200) - you deserved it (4450)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:31pm - kids - by Username - India

Today, I was talking to a friend about how many germs live on the average cell phone. My five year old son apparently overheard me talking, and decided to give my cell phone a bath. FML

#19066123
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25835) - you deserved it (5935)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:23pm - kids - by Katherine - United States (Oklahoma)



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