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Today, my son's homework was to write a story about what he wants to be when he grows up. He wrote that he plans on being unemployed and living at home until we throw him out, then he'll live under a bridge. He's only 12, but already planning for a future as an unemployed bum. FML

#16676970
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33628) - you deserved it (7886)

On 06/15/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by Seriously (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to be the one to break it to my daughter that WWE fighting was staged. She began crying. However, last month she didn't shed a single tear at her grandmother's funeral. FML

#16655787
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35898) - you deserved it (5109)

On 06/14/2011 at 2:08am - kids - by mk (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my tampons weren't ear plugs. FML

#16642737
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32254) - you deserved it (4122)

On 06/13/2011 at 10:24am - kids - by Evaki1 - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I fell asleep as my family drove to church. No one bothered to say anything about the drawings my siblings drew on my face until after church ended. FML

#16628523
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29511) - you deserved it (5248)

On 06/12/2011 at 2:47pm - kids - by Brandy_Dandy78 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my five year old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML

#16607799
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36286) - you deserved it (7123)

On 06/11/2011 at 7:12am - kids - by julia - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my cousin taught me how to make dinner. My cousin is in first grade and I'm in college. FML

#16598107
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11008) - you deserved it (36389)

On 06/10/2011 at 5:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML

#16591956
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31247) - you deserved it (12087)

On 06/10/2011 at 5:57am - kids - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, while driving with my three year old, I was showing her the different kinds of birds. I pointed out a bright red cardinal perched in a row of hedges. She squealed as it took flight, so happy to see such a brightly colored birdie fly. Until it hit my windshield. FML

#16520207
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29368) - you deserved it (4035)

On 06/05/2011 at 9:44pm - kids - by Whoops (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got to see my son's dream of being on television come true. Unfortunately, it was because he'd been arrested for trying to rob a bank. FML

#16468673
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38378) - you deserved it (5402)

On 06/02/2011 at 2:43pm - kids - by fuck (man) - United States

Today, my 12 year old cousin decided that "all men are pigs" and deleted every male contact in my phone. FML

#16434926
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36513) - you deserved it (4376)

On 05/31/2011 at 12:47pm - kids - by Ann - United States (Michigan)

Today, I let my son drive us home. After just 10 feet, he crashed into a parked cop car. It was my squad car. FML

#16398150
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30062) - you deserved it (14122)

On 05/29/2011 at 4:12am - kids - by adogg18 - United States (California)

Today, I asked my kids if I looked good before going to work. Smiling, they told me I looked wonderful. It wasn't until I got to work and looked into the mirror until I noticed my left eyebrow was gone. FML

#16391580
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33061) - you deserved it (7572)

On 05/28/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by tb351 - United States

Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML

#16375821
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37063) - you deserved it (5653)

On 05/27/2011 at 6:09pm - kids - by diddlebuag - United States (Ohio)



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