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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, my 18 year old son asked me to check if there were any monsters under his bed. FML

#18775724
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27695) - you deserved it (6967)

On 01/11/2012 at 3:08pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Arab Emirates

Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML

#18766108
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44409) - you deserved it (4535)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - India

Today, I arrived home. I'd left for a business trip 5 days earlier, and trusted my husband with our young boys. As soon as I stepped in the door, I noticed my son had thinner hair than when I'd left. He then showed me an empty container of Nair. FML

#18738819
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23722) - you deserved it (2926)

On 01/07/2012 at 7:50pm - kids - by ProudMama (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I tried to discipline my two year old son. Whenever I do this, he starts pointing and imitating me, and I can't help but laugh. This explains why he never listens to me. FML

#18735409
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8596) - you deserved it (32729)

On 01/07/2012 at 12:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my daughter brought her new boyfriend over for dinner. I realize now why she said we would get along great: we graduated high school together. FML

#18689614
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43933) - you deserved it (3185)

On 01/02/2012 at 8:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML

#18659966
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22870) - you deserved it (6666)

On 12/31/2011 at 1:21am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my 9 month old son realized he is just as tired as I am. His solution is to cry loudly. My solution was to cry along with him. FML

#18631898
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31439) - you deserved it (4747)

On 12/28/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my 10-year-old brother got the bright idea to urinate in my oven to cool it off. My whole house smells like burnt piss. FML

#18624102
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32508) - you deserved it (2911)

On 12/27/2011 at 10:53am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, we found out where our daughter had been hiding her crayons. We also found out why our stereo stopped working. FML

#18619223
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22479) - you deserved it (2641)

On 12/26/2011 at 9:24pm - kids - by Peter - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML

#18614231
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29647) - you deserved it (2734)

On 12/26/2011 at 4:55am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, with the cost of craft supplies that ended in a DIY fail, then a costume and overnight shipping, I have now spent $90 to obtain a $10 hat and vest for my daughter to play a cow in the school Christmas play. She will say "Moo" three times with 5 other cows before leaving the stage. FML

#18597076
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23394) - you deserved it (7152)

On 12/24/2011 at 9:38am - kids - by Broke Mama (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that my estranged daughter has been married for five years. I wasn't told of or invited to their wedding, and the only reason I know now is because she needs money for a divorce lawyer. FML

#18590110
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28202) - you deserved it (4338)

On 12/23/2011 at 3:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my daughter eating a handful of styrofoam packing pellets, because she thought they were Christmas candy. She's fourteen. What's next, eating rocks? FML

#18588984
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26184) - you deserved it (4332)

On 12/23/2011 at 1:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



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