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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got a phone call from my 6-year-old son's school telling me they were concerned about him as he wouldn't stop barking at the radiator. After talking to my husband about it, I found out he's been teaching him so he could see the look on my face. FML

#20121395
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23235) - you deserved it (2061)

On 10/17/2012 at 7:00pm - kids - by Uproar - Iceland

Today, I got a call from my son's school saying to pick him up because he'd shat his pants. He's in high school. FML

#20119263
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28617) - you deserved it (2842)

On 10/16/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by Mike - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I spent $100 on myself, using it to set up an account so that my son can call me from jail. FML

#20117850
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24755) - you deserved it (3920)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:10am - kids - by Reihna (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I learned from my daughter's teacher that she has been wearing the same shirt for the past few weeks, ever since we had a fight about how I don't pay attention to her. FML

#20117763
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7908) - you deserved it (60541)

On 10/15/2012 at 6:28am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I told my daughter that she won't be going to her homecoming dance as punishment for her terrible grades. She's been crying and singing "If I Die Young" in her room for hours. At this point, I don't know if I need to call a therapist or a vocal coach. FML

#20117570
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29695) - you deserved it (9837)

On 10/15/2012 at 12:07am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, a clown came over for my son's 8th birthday party. There was a moment of silence then laughter as everyone realized the clown and I were wearing the same plaid shirt. FML

#20117322
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24909) - you deserved it (4700)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:24pm - kids - by Randolph (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was babysitting, and we were playing a game. Because he was little, I let him win all the games. He then turned to me and said, "You're really bad at this." I got very defensive and won the next game, and was actually proud that I beat a 3-year-old. FML

#20117136
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19782) - you deserved it (8461)

On 10/14/2012 at 8:45pm - kids - by amiliaroberts123 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked into the kitchen at 5 am, to have my 7 and 9 year olds throw a bucket of water on me. To their surprise and horror, I didn't melt. FML

#20116347
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26217) - you deserved it (3433)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:57am - kids - by Nickki - United States

Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML

#20114686
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25235) - you deserved it (2580)

On 10/13/2012 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was babysitting four kids. I turned the TV on for them, and set the youngest on my lap. She started giggling and pointing at every single pimple I have, exclaiming "Boo-boo!" This went on for half an hour. FML

#20114676
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22161) - you deserved it (3055)

On 10/13/2012 at 7:22am - kids - by Shiverice - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
520 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82571) - you deserved it (9661)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

#20111636
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26125) - you deserved it (4428)

On 10/11/2012 at 2:59am - kids - by Failed Parent - United States

Today, I found out that my daughter's "pen pal" is really a 58-year-old man in prison. FML

#20109821
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27498) - you deserved it (3003)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:59pm - kids - by ohgod. - United States (Florida)



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