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Man or woman?

Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML

#20134692
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27590) - you deserved it (6460)

On 10/26/2012 at 8:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, I realized that my five-year-old daughters are deranged psychopaths, when one of them started screaming to get my attention while the other pulled the car door shut on my fingers. FML

#20134163
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24638) - you deserved it (3179)

On 10/26/2012 at 12:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I found a notebook my 12-year-old sister had been doodling in. Turns out the "doodles" were poems full of obscenities and descriptions of how she wanted to hurt herself. When I showed it to my mom, she accused me of writing the notebook myself to frame my sister. FML

#20133698
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27583) - you deserved it (2195)

On 10/26/2012 at 12:38am - kids - by familyofpsychos - United States (Nebraska)

Today, trying to be nice, I asked my little sister how school was. She burst into a temper tantrum and screamed at me to fuck off. She's eight. FML

#20132869
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24860) - you deserved it (2388)

On 10/25/2012 at 3:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to convert to Christianity. Not because she has a strong relation with God, but because she wants to post Facebook statuses about Him and "get a lot of likes." FML

#20131695
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28397) - you deserved it (3541)

On 10/24/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my 13-year-old son discovered Axe. Axe shower gel. Axe shampoo. Axe body spray. All at once. FML

#20130811
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31471) - you deserved it (2685)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:15am - kids - by BobsBabe2 - United States

Today, I babysat a 10-year-old and we played Pokémon. It was my first time playing, so he showed me. I ended up winning and the kid started crying and told his parents he hated me. They decided not to pay me for the night, and now I'm out of a job. FML

#20130128
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25573) - you deserved it (4645)

On 10/23/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by Pokemon problems - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at breakfast, my sister labelled me a "feminist." My whole family now refuses to talk to me for more than 30 seconds, and acts as though I have an incurable, highly contagious disease. FML

#20129490
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22135) - you deserved it (5144)

On 10/23/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by hating labels - Australia

Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML

#20129296
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11437) - you deserved it (56776)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:25am - kids - by Bratty son (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34153) - you deserved it (5023)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML

#20124963
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37767) - you deserved it (3133)

On 10/20/2012 at 4:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my husband and I decided to tell our sixteen-year-old daughter that she's adopted. Her response was, "Thank God!" FML

#20123551
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28975) - you deserved it (6477)

On 10/19/2012 at 3:59am - kids - by best_mom_ever (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got a job babysitting two really sweet kids. When their parents left, they told me that their cat had died. I told them how sorry I was, to which one of them replied, "That's okay. We still have him in a box. Wanna see?" FML

#20123166
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23514) - you deserved it (2034)

On 10/18/2012 at 9:57pm - kids - by Jessica - United States



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