Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML

#18912466
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33491) - you deserved it (3581)

On 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my kids to visit their grandma. At one point while playing, my youngest said "shit", so I admonished her. My mom snorted and told me to "stop being such a little bitch", because it will make my kids into "lame prisses like their mother". FML

#18892248
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26206) - you deserved it (6947)

On 01/23/2012 at 6:26pm - kids - by gloria77 (woman) - United States

Today, my kids tried to make grilled cheese by turning the toaster sideways. When all was done, it all flew out onto the kitchen floor. Both my kids and my husband left the mess there for me to clean up when I got home. FML

#18891516
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24544) - you deserved it (2933)

On 01/23/2012 at 5:07pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was working at Staples and organizing some notebooks. All of a sudden, I jumped up because of a sharp pain in my back. A little girl had grabbed a stapler and stapled my back. FML

#18876048
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38268) - you deserved it (2286)

On 01/22/2012 at 12:09am - kids - by thosedamnkids (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while over at a friend's house, I saw a framed picture of a young African boy on her fridge. I asked, "Oh, is this one of those kids you adopt from third world countries? My grandma does that too." She responded, "What do you mean? That's my cousin." FML

#18857503
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9589) - you deserved it (36420)

On 01/19/2012 at 10:33pm - kids - by WillaminaL (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to slowly explain to my daughter why her Facebook profile isn't a valid piece of ID. FML

#18815137
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27359) - you deserved it (4576)

On 01/15/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by Ange (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I met my son for the first time since I had to put him up for adoption over two decades ago. I wanted to make amends and get to know him. Instead, all I got to know was how well he can throw a punch. FML

#18799303
345 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20985) - you deserved it (52385)

On 01/13/2012 at 8:38pm - kids - by me (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I spun a two year old upside down, in circles. She wasn't remotely dizzy. I threw up on myself. FML

#18785032
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18199) - you deserved it (9760)

On 01/12/2012 at 1:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I've had chairs thrown at me, kicks have hit me in the nuts and I've heard "I'm gonna fucking kill you, bitch" several times. I work at a kindergarten. And this is a good day compared to what I'm used to. FML

#18783134
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38969) - you deserved it (3417)

On 01/12/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - Sweden

Today, my mom and siblings got into a fight. Being generally quiet and non-confrontational, I stayed out of it. Shortly thereafter, I was yelled at by my mother for being "ungrateful" and "disrespectful." I still don't know what I did wrong. FML

#18781319
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24496) - you deserved it (2161)

On 01/12/2012 at 12:00am - kids - by tiredoffamilydinners (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my 18 year old son asked me to check if there were any monsters under his bed. FML

#18775724
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27645) - you deserved it (6961)

On 01/11/2012 at 3:08pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Arab Emirates

Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML

#18766108
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44348) - you deserved it (4532)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - India

Today, I arrived home. I'd left for a business trip 5 days earlier, and trusted my husband with our young boys. As soon as I stepped in the door, I noticed my son had thinner hair than when I'd left. He then showed me an empty container of Nair. FML

#18738819
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23678) - you deserved it (2921)

On 01/07/2012 at 7:50pm - kids - by ProudMama (woman) - United States (Nebraska)



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