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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML

#19320311
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10705) - you deserved it (63867)

On 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by brooke (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I quit smoking. My son came home with an ashtray he made in arts and crafts class. FML

#19319555
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22937) - you deserved it (6945)

On 03/21/2012 at 8:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML

#19318105
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6278) - you deserved it (46504)

On 03/21/2012 at 12:06am - kids - by George Saunders - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I had to tell a parent about her son kicking a boy in his class. She blamed me for not watching him. I wasn't watching him because I was turned around to care for another boy he had hit right before that. FML

#19316250
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27120) - you deserved it (1889)

On 03/20/2012 at 8:23pm - kids - by LadyJ (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was at the park with my friends. We were all having fun on the swings, when out of nowhere I heard a thud, followed by a child crying. Turns out I accidentally kicked him in the head. FML

#19308008
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24276) - you deserved it (7371)

On 03/19/2012 at 4:18pm - kids - by Evelyn - United States

Today, I told my daughter that she should put some love into her cooking. She started kissing the ingredients. FML

#19305380
7 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18486) - you deserved it (12804)

On 03/19/2012 at 12:59am - kids - by FoodyFood (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, a little girl looked at me and yelled "Mommy look, there's a real leprechaun!" FML

#19296318
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23937) - you deserved it (2416)

On 03/17/2012 at 8:48pm - kids - by Redhead4life (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I managed to staple my finger while showing my kindergartner class how to properly use one. FML

#19286997
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9481) - you deserved it (20568)

On 03/16/2012 at 2:02am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML

#19247694
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8497) - you deserved it (35893)

On 03/09/2012 at 8:56pm - kids - by mikey51 (man) - Australia

Today, my 8-year-old niece corrected my spelling via text message. FML

#19227628
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7427) - you deserved it (31655)

On 03/06/2012 at 3:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML

#19201046
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29055) - you deserved it (4058)

On 03/02/2012 at 3:30am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium

Today, the boy I tutor failed his math test. As a result, the family fired me. The boy failed because he forgot to write his name at the top. FML

#19190848
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36426) - you deserved it (2058)

On 02/29/2012 at 7:01pm - kids - by Fairy31 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I gave my little brother my iPhone so he could play a game. I soon forgot about it, and when I got it back two hours later, there was pudding and a couple of big cracks in it. FML

#19166508
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14945) - you deserved it (27642)

On 02/26/2012 at 8:53am - kids - by unknown - United States (Maryland)



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