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Man or woman?

Today, my 4 year old asked to go outside and play in the sprinkler. I told him not right now because I was busy and he's too little to play outside by himself. I came out of the laundry room later to find he'd brought the sprinkler in the house and turned the water on. At least he listened. FML

#17528012
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30147) - you deserved it (7925)

On 08/20/2011 at 10:08am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that I was moving to Germany. I'm going to be put back a year in school because of the system change. I also don't speak a word of German. Why? Because my mother wants to brag about this experience to her friends. FML

#17493123
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29596) - you deserved it (2399)

On 08/16/2011 at 8:05pm - kids - by Awesome (woman) - Russian Federation

Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML

#17487267
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32984) - you deserved it (2848)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:22am - kids - by Gross... (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my 3 year old son's tricycle was stolen. I looked up the street and saw a neighbour's kid riding it. I marched up, gently lifted him off it, gave him a stern lecture about stealing and brought the tricycle back home. The cops then showed up. Apparently, the kid has an identical tricycle. FML

#17481344
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12867) - you deserved it (34229)

On 08/15/2011 at 3:14pm - kids - by ollie179 - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I walked in on my mom ranting on about what a useless bitch I am. She was talking to my cat. It's not the first time this has happened, either. FML

#17471195
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30453) - you deserved it (3568)

On 08/14/2011 at 3:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my 14-year-old son was terrified of going into the water near our house, because he was scared of having his leg bitten off by a shark. We live by a lake. I tried explaining why it couldn't happen, but he just cowered behind a beach towel. FML

#17463558
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25229) - you deserved it (4282)

On 08/13/2011 at 9:17pm - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident. One of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "asshole" afterwards. FML

#17458191
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9124) - you deserved it (35613)

On 08/13/2011 at 6:31am - kids - by Kathryn - Belgium

Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML

#17457165
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17770) - you deserved it (32128)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:51am - kids - by brittbrat4 - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad told me that after my two older siblings were born, he got a vasectomy. However, something went wrong, and the vasectomy had failed, resulting in me. FML

#17448755
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30832) - you deserved it (2677)

On 08/12/2011 at 9:14am - kids - by LuckySperm (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, my three year old sister asked me to go to the amusement park with her. Since I was late for work, I politely refused and said we'd go tomorrow. She punched me in the nuts so hard that I could barely walk. FML

#17438082
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26631) - you deserved it (4951)

On 08/11/2011 at 4:45am - kids - by IRum (man) - Russian Federation

Today, I found out that my son had sold his house key to one of his friends for half a packet of gum. Now there is someone out there who I have never met with full access to my house. My son is 16. FML

#17404140
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32417) - you deserved it (4758)

On 08/08/2011 at 2:45am - kids - by Jilly (woman) - Australia

Today, I took my kids to the circus. We were having fun, right up until the point they saw an old man dressed as a clown, at which point they screamed, grabbed onto my shorts, and managed to accidentally pull them down. FML

#17396996
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23339) - you deserved it (2910)

On 08/07/2011 at 1:14pm - kids - by SheaLili - United States (California)

Today, my niece told me to go and find my own friends. She's 2, and I'm 18. FML

#17395246
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26752) - you deserved it (5346)

On 08/07/2011 at 5:52am - kids - by myheart75 - Australia (Victoria)



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