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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I've had chairs thrown at me, kicks have hit me in the nuts and I've heard "I'm gonna fucking kill you, bitch" several times. I work at a kindergarten. And this is a good day compared to what I'm used to. FML

#18783134
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38939) - you deserved it (3414)

On 01/12/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - Sweden

Today, my mom and siblings got into a fight. Being generally quiet and non-confrontational, I stayed out of it. Shortly thereafter, I was yelled at by my mother for being "ungrateful" and "disrespectful." I still don't know what I did wrong. FML

#18781319
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24471) - you deserved it (2161)

On 01/12/2012 at 12:00am - kids - by tiredoffamilydinners (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my 18 year old son asked me to check if there were any monsters under his bed. FML

#18775724
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27635) - you deserved it (6959)

On 01/11/2012 at 3:08pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Arab Emirates

Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML

#18766108
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44312) - you deserved it (4530)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - India

Today, I arrived home. I'd left for a business trip 5 days earlier, and trusted my husband with our young boys. As soon as I stepped in the door, I noticed my son had thinner hair than when I'd left. He then showed me an empty container of Nair. FML

#18738819
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23635) - you deserved it (2918)

On 01/07/2012 at 7:50pm - kids - by ProudMama (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I tried to discipline my two year old son. Whenever I do this, he starts pointing and imitating me, and I can't help but laugh. This explains why he never listens to me. FML

#18735409
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8569) - you deserved it (32651)

On 01/07/2012 at 12:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my daughter brought her new boyfriend over for dinner. I realize now why she said we would get along great: we graduated high school together. FML

#18689614
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43834) - you deserved it (3180)

On 01/02/2012 at 8:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML

#18659966
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22795) - you deserved it (6660)

On 12/31/2011 at 1:21am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my 9 month old son realized he is just as tired as I am. His solution is to cry loudly. My solution was to cry along with him. FML

#18631898
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31360) - you deserved it (4743)

On 12/28/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my 10-year-old brother got the bright idea to urinate in my oven to cool it off. My whole house smells like burnt piss. FML

#18624102
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32424) - you deserved it (2909)

On 12/27/2011 at 10:53am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, we found out where our daughter had been hiding her crayons. We also found out why our stereo stopped working. FML

#18619223
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22400) - you deserved it (2637)

On 12/26/2011 at 9:24pm - kids - by Peter - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML

#18614231
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28700) - you deserved it (2649)

On 12/26/2011 at 4:55am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, with the cost of craft supplies that ended in a DIY fail, then a costume and overnight shipping, I have now spent $90 to obtain a $10 hat and vest for my daughter to play a cow in the school Christmas play. She will say "Moo" three times with 5 other cows before leaving the stage. FML

#18597076
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23324) - you deserved it (7141)

On 12/24/2011 at 9:38am - kids - by Broke Mama (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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