Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34576) - you deserved it (3695)
On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my daughter got selected to pick music for a funeral. She only listens to Nikki Minaj. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29705) - you deserved it (3586)
On 03/26/2013 at 7:40am - kids - by bear - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I gave my son a fork, so I could try teaching him how to eat with one. So far, he's been doing all the teaching. He's taught me that if I get anywhere near him when he has a fork, I'll get shanked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27078) - you deserved it (4052)
On 03/24/2013 at 11:56am - kids - by Gixie (woman) - Ghana (Greater Accra)
Today, I spent three hours painstakingly installing and configuring some parental control software on my 11-year-old son's laptop after I caught him watching porn. Barely an hour after returning the laptop, I caught him watching yet more porn on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25418) - you deserved it (9422)
On 03/24/2013 at 6:30am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, the kids I babysit hid from me. While I was looking for them, I stepped on multiple strategically-placed Lego bricks. When I yelped from the pain, the kids jumped out and threw soccer balls in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31615) - you deserved it (3348)
On 03/23/2013 at 7:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37695) - you deserved it (2813)
On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)
Today, a pregnant friend who is due in 2 weeks posted a picture of a baby on Facebook. I commented congratulations. She's still pregnant. It was a picture of her baby who died 3 years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43053) - you deserved it (9811)
On 03/21/2013 at 5:42am - kids - by seamonkeys - United States
Today, I found myself arguing with a 6-year-old over a game of tag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10695) - you deserved it (21429)
On 03/20/2013 at 6:08pm - kids - by tspence - United States (Ohio)
Today, I advised my daughter to not drink a Coke before bed. She smiled at me and reassured me that it could be balanced out with sleeping pills. I'm raising a future drug addict. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26616) - you deserved it (4872)
On 03/17/2013 at 6:25am - kids - by hejdixjeln - United States (Illinois)
Today, I told my family I was divorcing my husband. My little sister asked if "we can keep him instead". FML
I agree, your life sucks (27069) - you deserved it (5253)
On 03/16/2013 at 11:51am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. My boyfriend is no fan of fatherhood, so it was with some hesitation that I called him and let him know I'm pregnant. He replied, "Like hell you are!" and hung up. He now refuses to answer any of my calls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32853) - you deserved it (7330)
On 03/14/2013 at 2:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28476) - you deserved it (3146)
On 03/12/2013 at 6:43pm - kids - by um... maybe (man) - United Kingdom
Today, my 4-year-old daughter couldn't sleep, crying that her teddy bear wants to eat her. My husband thought it would be funny to put the bear right in front of her face while she slept. She's now terrified to sleep anywhere but in our bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24960) - you deserved it (4028)
On 03/11/2013 at 7:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland
Monday 17 June 2013
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