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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

#20556205
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36175) - you deserved it (2250)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, a pregnant friend who is due in 2 weeks posted a picture of a baby on Facebook. I commented congratulations. She's still pregnant. It was a picture of her baby who died 3 years ago. FML

#20553352
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41753) - you deserved it (1452)

On 03/21/2013 at 5:42am - kids - by seamonkeys - United States

Today, I found myself arguing with a 6-year-old over a game of tag. FML

#20552543
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10593) - you deserved it (21346)

On 03/20/2013 at 6:08pm - kids - by tspence - United States (Ohio)

Today, I advised my daughter to not drink a Coke before bed. She smiled at me and reassured me that it could be balanced out with sleeping pills. I'm raising a future drug addict. FML

#20547328
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26433) - you deserved it (4860)

On 03/17/2013 at 6:25am - kids - by hejdixjeln - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my family I was divorcing my husband. My little sister asked if "we can keep him instead". FML

#20546016
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26946) - you deserved it (5247)

On 03/16/2013 at 11:51am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. My boyfriend is no fan of fatherhood, so it was with some hesitation that I called him and let him know I'm pregnant. He replied, "Like hell you are!" and hung up. He now refuses to answer any of my calls. FML

#20543527
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32634) - you deserved it (7321)

On 03/14/2013 at 2:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML

#20541069
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28283) - you deserved it (3135)

On 03/12/2013 at 6:43pm - kids - by um... maybe (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my 4-year-old daughter couldn't sleep, crying that her teddy bear wants to eat her. My husband thought it would be funny to put the bear right in front of her face while she slept. She's now terrified to sleep anywhere but in our bed. FML

#20539958
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24785) - you deserved it (4019)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, my 3 year old woke up at 2 am and refused to go back to sleep unless she could sleep with her father and me. Normally we would have said no, but both of us being so tired, we said yes. She slowly kicked me out of my side of the bed and now I have to sleep on the couch. FML

#20539225
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16503) - you deserved it (10344)

On 03/11/2013 at 4:37am - kids - by MissShei (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, when I got home, my child had three bruises. My babysitter's excuse? "She hit me first". FML

#20538066
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40670) - you deserved it (3956)

On 03/10/2013 at 12:08pm - kids - by Amanda - Canada

Today, my boyfriend's daughter asked me what would happen if she chose to stop urinating for two weeks. She wanted to know whether it would kill her or just start coming out of her mouth. She's 17-years old, and was deadly serious. FML

#20536217
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27088) - you deserved it (1849)

On 03/08/2013 at 8:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today, after my 5-year-old finally got over his grandmother's death, we went to a store and saw a lady that looked exactly like her. She came up to us asking if we saw her grandson; I can't get my son to stop freaking out. FML

#20535134
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30138) - you deserved it (1244)

On 03/07/2013 at 8:55pm - kids - by Maxie - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 20-year-old came whining to me, asking why his job interviews keep going so poorly. I had to delicately explain that the "PIMP SLAP" tattoo he had put on his right hand recently may have something to do with it. FML

#20533491
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23229) - you deserved it (2722)

On 03/06/2013 at 1:04pm - kids - by ProudMother (woman) - United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin)



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