Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend what she got me for my half birthday, to which she replied "A baby." She was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8539) - you deserved it (16079)
On 10/29/2012 at 2:10pm - kids - by JiggaJayZ - United States
Today, after I gave birth to our first child, my husband looked at the doctor and seriously asked, "When do you circumcise the baby?" We had a baby girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17445) - you deserved it (1501)
On 10/29/2012 at 6:32am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17134) - you deserved it (3551)
On 10/28/2012 at 12:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to tell my 10-year-old son that if he wanted to get girls, he had to do the Gangnam Style. My son has now non-stop been doing the Gangnam Style. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16271) - you deserved it (3580)
On 10/28/2012 at 10:53am - kids - by friedbutter - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML
I agree, your life sucks (6320) - you deserved it (21252)
On 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)
Today, I found out that my daughter has a hit list. There are over thirty names on there. My name is on it as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15679) - you deserved it (2240)
On 10/27/2012 at 3:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16945) - you deserved it (4118)
On 10/26/2012 at 8:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)
Today, I realized that my five-year-old daughters are deranged psychopaths, when one of them started screaming to get my attention while the other pulled the car door shut on my fingers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14745) - you deserved it (1845)
On 10/26/2012 at 12:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Philippines (Manila)
Today, I found a notebook my 12-year-old sister had been doodling in. Turns out the "doodles" were poems full of obscenities and descriptions of how she wanted to hurt herself. When I showed it to my mom, she accused me of writing the notebook myself to frame my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17292) - you deserved it (1179)
On 10/26/2012 at 12:38am - kids - by familyofpsychos - United States (Nebraska)
Today, trying to be nice, I asked my little sister how school was. She burst into a temper tantrum and screamed at me to fuck off. She's eight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15905) - you deserved it (1549)
On 10/25/2012 at 3:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to convert to a Christian. Not because she has a strong relation with God, but because she wants to post Facebook statuses about Him and "get a lot of likes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17778) - you deserved it (2031)
On 10/24/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my 13-year-old son discovered Axe. Axe shower gel. Axe shampoo. Axe body spray. All at once. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20485) - you deserved it (1557)
On 10/24/2012 at 1:15am - kids - by BobsBabe2 - United States
Today, I babysat a 10-year-old and we played Pokémon. It was my first time playing, so he showed me. I ended up winning and the kid started crying and told his parents he hated me. They decided not to pay me for the night, and now I'm out of a job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84) - you deserved it (1594)
On 10/23/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by Pokemon problems - Canada (Ontario)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
