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Today, I got to spend all of my time scrubbing poop off the walls and carpet because my 2-year-old decided he wanted to 'paint mama a picture.' FML

Today, my 6-year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML

#20983816
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47141) - you deserved it (5499)

On 12/07/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by john doe (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was gushing about my love for Disney princesses when someone told me I "definitely needed to calm down." By whom? A four-year-old girl. FML

Today, my neighbor put up an electric fence to keep my five-year-old son out. FML

#20980679
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36687) - you deserved it (12447)

On 12/04/2013 at 5:29pm - kids - by Awkward - United States (Washington)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML

#20980652
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42148) - you deserved it (10949)

On 12/04/2013 at 5:08pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my 4-year-old daughter stood up to a bully in the mall. I was the one who was getting bullied. FML

#20979326
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42288) - you deserved it (7964)

On 12/03/2013 at 12:33pm - kids - by DocShadow (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I opened my heart to my father-in-law, telling him how he was a very good example for us and how his name would be great for our first born son, he interrupted, saying, "Cut the cheesy crap, now." FML

#20978596
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33915) - you deserved it (5494)

On 12/02/2013 at 7:56pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, my 5-year-old decided that it would be a great idea to try to paint her nails in secret. As a result, I now get to learn how to remove copious amounts of dark nail polish from a wide variety of materials, including my apartment's 1/2-inch thick shag rug. FML

Today, I had to explain to my daughter that just because it says non-toxic on the crayons, it doesn't mean that you should eat them. She's 16. FML

#20977509
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42410) - you deserved it (5310)

On 12/01/2013 at 9:50pm - kids - by no she wasn't high - United States (Texas)

Today, concerned about my daughter's recent behavior, I looked through her web browser history. I found web searches for information on how to make a bomb to blow up a "horse". I'm not sure if she's illiterate, but either way it seems I need to get her some help. FML

#20977212
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39100) - you deserved it (3779)

On 12/01/2013 at 4:43pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found my taser and used it on him. FML

#20971381
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44742) - you deserved it (4722)

On 11/26/2013 at 2:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to pick up my little brother from his friend's house. When I got there, he ran off screaming that he didn't know me. His friend's parents believed him. FML

#20971159
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41609) - you deserved it (2858)

On 11/26/2013 at 8:07am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store, when a little boy looked up at me and asked if I was a prostitute. FML

#20970235
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41981) - you deserved it (12668)

On 11/25/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)



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