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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I found an unfamiliar ring in my purse. Thinking it was fake, I gave it to a little girl. Thanks to my mother, I later found out that the ring was my grandmother's and it was made of gold and had a real ruby. My mother added that my grandmother trusted me to keep it in our family. FML

#21433516
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19271) - you deserved it (29721)

On 06/28/2015 at 10:02pm - kids - by AddictiveAddicted - United States (Colorado)

Today, after my daughter told half her class about my retainer, I advised her to keep mummy's personal details personal. Now she responds, "I'm not supposed to tell" to any question regarding our home life. Thus far, I've received six very concerned calls. FML

#21433102
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24289) - you deserved it (2442)

On 06/28/2015 at 1:13am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my family and I were driving and we passed a strip club called DB's Golden Banana. My 5-year-old sister asked what it was, so my dad said it was a place where people dance. Now my sister keeps telling people she wants to be a dancer at DB's Golden Banana. FML

#21432491
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27115) - you deserved it (2963)

On 06/26/2015 at 7:32pm - kids - by tycrist8 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I accidentally sat on my sister's imaginary monkey. She then stabbed me with a pencil. I still can't get the piece of graphite out of my hand. FML

#21430170
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25822) - you deserved it (2381)

On 06/22/2015 at 3:10pm - kids - by vkryss13 - Guam

Today, my husband let my 8-year-old twins play with handcuffs. I thought my husband was pretending he had lost the key but after 4 hours, he walked in with his head down and said, "I've made a terrible mistake honey." FML

#21429657
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26848) - you deserved it (2388)

On 06/21/2015 at 5:37pm - kids - by hfs palm - United States

Today, I had to take my daughter to the ER. Her brother had bet she couldn't go the whole day without talking. So to win the bet, she tried to super-glue her lips together so she couldn't accidentally say anything. FML

Today, my mother got heartburn. She claimed she only gets heartburn when she is near a pregnant woman. She threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't take a pregnancy test, despite there being no way I was pregnant. Turns out, I am pregnant, and my mother's ego has never been bigger. FML

#21427606
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31957) - you deserved it (9232)

On 06/17/2015 at 2:09pm - kids - by RecentCollegeGrad (woman) -

Today, my father finally achieved his long-held goal. He has legally disowned me. FML

Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML

#21426566
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26377) - you deserved it (9176)

On 06/15/2015 at 4:02pm - kids - by HttpsHaileyy - United States

 Today, I had to explain to my little brother yet again that no, socks don't count as toilet paper. FML

#21426539
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27772) - you deserved it (2132)

On 06/15/2015 at 3:11pm - kids - by maggieyokoi -

Today, I had to take my son to the hospital for drinking sunscreen. Apparently, he saw something on the internet that said if he drank it, his body would sweat it out and continually apply it to his body. He's 16. FML

#21425682
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37581) - you deserved it (6312)

On 06/14/2015 at 9:41am - kids - by afather - United States (South Dakota)



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