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Today, I was gushing about my love for Disney princesses when someone told me I "definitely needed to calm down." By whom? A four-year-old girl. FML

Today, my neighbor put up an electric fence to keep my five-year-old son out. FML

#20980679
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34238) - you deserved it (11010)

On 12/04/2013 at 5:29pm - kids - by Awkward - United States (Washington)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML

#20980652
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41249) - you deserved it (10651)

On 12/04/2013 at 5:08pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my 4-year-old daughter stood up to a bully in the mall. I was the one who was getting bullied. FML

#20979326
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39850) - you deserved it (7060)

On 12/03/2013 at 12:33pm - kids - by DocShadow (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I opened my heart to my father-in-law, telling him how he was a very good example for us and how his name would be great for our first born son, he interrupted, saying, "Cut the cheesy crap, now." FML

#20978596
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31705) - you deserved it (4849)

On 12/02/2013 at 7:56pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, my 5-year-old decided that it would be a great idea to try to paint her nails in secret. As a result, I now get to learn how to remove copious amounts of dark nail polish from a wide variety of materials, including my apartment's 1/2-inch thick shag rug. FML

Today, I had to explain to my daughter that just because it says non-toxic on the crayons, it doesn't mean that you should eat them. She's 16. FML

#20977509
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39979) - you deserved it (4791)

On 12/01/2013 at 9:50pm - kids - by no she wasn't high - United States (Texas)

Today, concerned about my daughter's recent behavior, I looked through her web browser history. I found web searches for information on how to make a bomb to blow up a "horse". I'm not sure if she's illiterate, but either way it seems I need to get her some help. FML

#20977212
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38774) - you deserved it (3732)

On 12/01/2013 at 4:43pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found my taser and used it on him. FML

#20971381
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44301) - you deserved it (4673)

On 11/26/2013 at 2:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to pick up my little brother from his friend's house. When I got there, he ran off screaming that he didn't know me. His friend's parents believed him. FML

#20971159
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40093) - you deserved it (2719)

On 11/26/2013 at 8:07am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store, when a little boy looked up at me and asked if I was a prostitute. FML

#20970235
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39675) - you deserved it (11507)

On 11/25/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, while driving home, I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that my three-year-old daughter had managed to get out of her seat and had crawled to the back window. I pulled over and strapped her in again. Five minutes later she was back at the window. FML

#20967131
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37202) - you deserved it (5230)

On 11/22/2013 at 6:14pm - kids - by houdinette (woman) - Sweden (Ostergotlands Lan)

Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML

#20966535
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44178) - you deserved it (3313)

On 11/22/2013 at 1:20am - kids - by spooked (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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