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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found the family's pet hamster under my mattress, he's been missing for six months. FML

#2862
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26924) - you deserved it (2599)

On 01/27/2009 at 2:42pm - kids - by Noname - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, while I was babysitting my nephews, the 7 year old boy walked up to me and asked if I was a lesbian. I laughed it off. An argument ensued about my sexuality for a good two hours. I lost. FML

#2591
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25069) - you deserved it (3731)

On 01/25/2009 at 9:51pm - kids - by ThatsNotRight - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was trying to be-friend a boy who was sitting alone. He had his gameboy nearly plastered to his eyes. I, cleverly, say to him, "Geeze don't put that thing so close, your eyes will fall out!" He took off his sunglasses, eyes going crooked, and said, "I'm legally blind." Insert foot here. FML

#2478
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22639) - you deserved it (7871)

On 01/24/2009 at 7:27pm - kids - by thatsjustgreat - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I told my 10 year old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML

#1565
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20674) - you deserved it (3115)

On 01/18/2009 at 9:30am - kids - by NVP - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was putting a wristband on a little boy's wrist so he could swim in the waterpark. Just before I finished, he coughed all over my hands and arms. I finished and looked up at the boy just in time for us to make eye contact and for him to cough directly into my face. FML

#1471
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18902) - you deserved it (1978)

On 01/17/2009 at 3:57pm - kids - by kallens - United States (Minnesota)

Today, a student of mine used the phrase "well, you know, like back in your day" about defining "going out". I'm only 24. FML

#1158
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19822) - you deserved it (1730)

On 01/14/2009 at 6:20pm - kids - by Old? - United States (Washington)

Today, my 5 year old daughter watched me getting dressed in the bathroom and asked "mum, when my boobs grow, will they droop like yours?". FML

#983
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25044) - you deserved it (2884)

On 01/12/2009 at 4:37am - kids - by Lax - Sent from mobile version

Today, I fell asleep on the train, totally wiped out after last night's party, which involved lots of booze and spicy Indian food. I wake up and notice a small boy staring at me, so I smiled at him. He turned to his father and said, "Daddy, the farting man has just woken up." FML

#947
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19864) - you deserved it (7942)

On 01/10/2009 at 9:11pm - kids - by mark - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was teaching a class but kids were chatting. After 3 soap box speeches about "The next person who talks gets a note to take home," one kid looked right at me and went "meow". FML

#891
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20835) - you deserved it (6533)

On 01/09/2009 at 3:54am - kids - by Liz - Sent from mobile version

Today, I tried to cuddle Simon, my five year old son. He wriggled away and said: "If you need a teddy bear, go buy one! Or find another Simon!" FML

#697
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26686) - you deserved it (3051)

On 01/03/2009 at 10:55pm - kids - by sly - Sent from mobile version

Today, at 7 in the morning, I end up outside in a night dress, with bare feet and in the rain. I've just found out that my two year old son now knows how to close the patio door, which of course, has no outside door handle. FML

#685
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18788) - you deserved it (3088)

On 01/02/2009 at 8:22pm - kids - by lilou - Sent from mobile version

Today, my wife and I both have blond hair and blue eyes, we just had a red headed son. FML

#767
364 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35875) - you deserved it (7619)

On 12/31/2008 at 10:45pm - kids - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was baby-sitting four rather noisy and rowdy kids. After a two hour struggle, I finally manage to get them into bed. I then ask them what they want before going to sleep, and the eldest replies: "Can you tell us a story where you die at the end?" FML

#624
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29305) - you deserved it (2595)

On 12/29/2008 at 5:56am - kids - by Hellau - Sent from mobile version



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