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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML

#5107055
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52109) - you deserved it (7478)

On 09/07/2009 at 3:19pm - kids - by Waheyyy (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my parents doing it. Luckily they didn't see me so I slipped out. I looked outside, trying to take my mind of the horrors I had just witnessed, only to realize my dad's car wasn't in the driveway. FML

#5065139
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72002) - you deserved it (2996)

On 09/05/2009 at 6:11pm - kids - by WTF (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking home from work going over a railway-bridge, when a 12 year old boy standing at the bottom asks if I could help him carry his bike up, as he couldn't lift it. I did it for him, and was greeted on the other side by his father - who thought I was stealing it and hit me. FML

#5047038
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40341) - you deserved it (2137)

On 09/04/2009 at 7:43pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was babysitting a boy who was 11 years old. He told me that he loved me and wanted to be my boyfriend. I told him that I think he is a really great kid but I'm 17 so it would never work out. He said okay. When his parents came home he told them that I hit him and started crying. FML

#5035637
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52121) - you deserved it (3364)

On 09/04/2009 at 2:23am - kids - by NotYourLady (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I awakened from my peaceful slumber in a great mood. I walked into my closet, ready to pick out an outfit for the day, to find my two year old daughter, kneeling on the floor with a pair of scissors in her hand, cutting up my wedding dress - my wedding is tomorrow. FML

#5019794
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66114) - you deserved it (13316)

On 09/03/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML

#5016488
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39730) - you deserved it (5391)

On 09/03/2009 at 6:19am - kids - by Annoymous (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I figured out that a $40 phone case does not protect your $500 phone from a five year old throwing it off a fourth story balcony. FML

#5012990
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39106) - you deserved it (8032)

On 09/03/2009 at 12:37am - kids - by eagerbeaver (man) - United States

Today, when my son woke up from his nap, he sleepily reached up. I picked him up and gave him a big hug, and he immediately pushed me away. He wasn't reaching for me, he was reaching for the bag of chips on the table next to me. FML

#4987188
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33664) - you deserved it (6155)

On 09/01/2009 at 10:17pm - kids - by pinks (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML

#4958000
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86245) - you deserved it (5153)

On 08/31/2009 at 6:05pm - kids - by beya (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I swapped seats with someone on a ferry so she could sit next to her friend. Minutes later, a child sitting behind me threw up on my head, while the girl I had swapped with and her friend laughed hysterically as I attempted to wipe the puke from my hair. FML

#4900941
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46033) - you deserved it (3467)

On 08/29/2009 at 4:48am - kids - by littlemisstiny (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML

#4874486
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47381) - you deserved it (6362)

On 08/28/2009 at 12:41am - kids - by mariokarter (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my little sister recieved a fairy costume from my aunt. She put it on and waves her wand at me. She said,"Abra cadabra bibbity poo. I wish Sydney was pretty." When I did nothing, she put her hands on her hips and says,"Cant you just act pretty?" FML

#4839139
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42320) - you deserved it (5191)

On 08/26/2009 at 4:31pm - kids - by yummolives (woman) - United States (Florida)



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