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Today, I was hanging out at a friend's house. Her adorable 5 year old sister came up, gave me a hug, and said, "You're fat. When are you going home?" FML

#791194
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53642) - you deserved it (5448)

On 04/03/2009 at 10:07pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got my long hair cut in a short pixie cut. When my five year old daughter saw me she laughed and proclaimed 'You look just like a man!'. That afternoon I got a concerned call from the school. My daughter has told everyone 'mummy has gone away, I now have two daddies!' FML

#765462
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66136) - you deserved it (7431)

On 04/02/2009 at 12:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I was volunteering at a school, as I walked past the swings these two girls smiled and said "wow, you are so pretty!". I smiled back and said "awww, well thank you!." As I walked past I hear them laughing, "she actually believed us." FML

#737315
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53907) - you deserved it (4627)

On 03/31/2009 at 11:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML

#726983
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (96288) - you deserved it (9124)

On 03/31/2009 at 4:47pm - kids - by poo_shoe123 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my little sister got mad at me because I wouldn't let her read my IM conversation. I took a nap and when I woke up, my laptop was gone. She took it on a trip to her grandparents' house, six hours away. Nude pictures of me and my paper due tomorrow are on the laptop. FML

#718784
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60215) - you deserved it (28127)

On 03/31/2009 at 1:32am - kids - by somerandomchick (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was playing with my kid cousin outside. It was warm, so I was wearing my new bikini, and felt pretty good about myself. She suddenly turns to me and asks: "How come your tits are so small when you have such a big belly?" FML

#677101
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66775) - you deserved it (10277)

On 03/29/2009 at 8:32am - kids - by Chubs (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I was at work at a preschool. I was sitting outside with the kids and was getting bored so I started singing. One of the little girls runs up and puts her hand over my mouth and tells me to stop. I'm in a select chorus at my highschool and plan to major in choral studies in college. FML

#659124
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47045) - you deserved it (9913)

On 03/28/2009 at 10:14am - kids - by justjust (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was outside searching for "treasures" with my son using small plastic shovels. All of a sudden he starts screaming. He dug up the bones of our old dog. I told him that we had sent him away to live on a farm, I even helped my son write letters to the farm owners. FML

#640480
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20360) - you deserved it (85904)

On 03/27/2009 at 9:05am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Austria (Vorarlberg)

Today, I had my girlfriend over and we we're watching a movie in my basement. I run upstairs and pop a bag of popcorn. Later I come downstairs to find my 10 year old brother sitting next to my girlfriend saying," My brother always says he wants to screw your brains out, whatever that means". FML

#620278
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26024) - you deserved it (69153)

On 03/26/2009 at 11:42am - kids - by CaoNiMa (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I babysat for two little girls, who wanted to play 'mermaids'. I smiled, and said that I would love to play with them. The older girl laughed, saying "You can't be a mermaid. Mermaids are pretty." FML

#614734
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77167) - you deserved it (4546)

On 03/25/2009 at 11:45pm - kids - by babysitter (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was eating with my boyfriend and his family at a high-end restaurant when, suddenly, I screamed, thinking a dog had just bitten my leg. I am terrified of dogs. I kicked my under-the-table assailant as hard as I could. It was my boyfriend's adorable five-year-old sister. FML

#539856
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65364) - you deserved it (31463)

On 03/22/2009 at 9:02pm - kids - by Noca (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I suggested that my mother download Skype so we could video chat while I'm studying in London over the summer. After I had explained how it worked and that it was free, she said "Well...you'll only be gone for a few months. It's not really worth it." FML

#524922
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60408) - you deserved it (4159)

On 03/22/2009 at 1:45am - kids - by unlovedd (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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