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Man or woman?

Today, I found my mother wandering the halls of my fraternity unescorted and asked why she was here, she told me she was concerned when I didn't pick up my phone for two days. She then informed me that she had also moved to the same city I live in. My mother moved over 600 miles to stalk me. FML

#1732153
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55339) - you deserved it (4284)

On 05/07/2009 at 8:42pm - kids - by PetitPrincePerdu (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I told my students that I would be absent tomorrow because my wife was giving birth. They burst into applause... not to congratulate me on the new baby. FML

#1714959
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46336) - you deserved it (12368)

On 05/07/2009 at 10:50am - kids - by spanishteach (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized my wedding ring was missing. Turns out, my son had taken it to give to a girl he likes in the 2nd grade. FML

#1706797
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71595) - you deserved it (8075)

On 05/06/2009 at 11:47pm - kids - by fmal (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was babysitting for my neighbors. Their 5 year-old had finally fallen asleep at 11 after two hours of stories and songs. No sooner had I tip toed out of the room did I realize that my cell phone had dropped out of my pocket onto the bed. It was ringing. It was their mother checking in. FML

#1649042
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41284) - you deserved it (7033)

On 05/04/2009 at 11:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I saw my neighbor's son mowing their lawn when suddenly he started to do this crazy dance. Chuckling at his antics I waved and walked back into my house. His mom called me from a hospital later to ask if I could put the mower away; he had been attacked by bees. FML

#1643455
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18998) - you deserved it (43181)

On 05/04/2009 at 8:46pm - kids - by Jon (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, while watching TV, I danced, sang along, and helped Dora the Explorer get to her Grandmother's house. It was the most fun I've had all year. I'm 21. FML

#1619469
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56733) - you deserved it (26996)

On 05/04/2009 at 5:09am - kids - by Amey (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was babysitting this little girl. She told me she wanted to go to the park so we did. When we were walking back, I was caring her on my back. When were almost at the door, she told me she had to go pee. I told her to hold it. As we were walking in the door I felt a warm spot on my back. FML

#1589486
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41034) - you deserved it (15361)

On 05/03/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by Dumbblonde (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was taking a nap on the couch when my 2 year old daughter decided that daddy needed an ear cleaning. With all the grace of toddler-hood, she stabbed me in the eardrum with a Q-tip. Now I can't hear her coming. FML

#1584585
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16980) - you deserved it (1816)

On 05/03/2009 at 3:15am - kids - by bodhimae - Sent from mobile version

Today, my 6 year old granddaughter was sitting on my lap playing with the rings on my fingers. After a moment, she pointed to a gold ring with many jewels and said, "When you die can I have that one?" FML

#1579657
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57327) - you deserved it (3826)

On 05/03/2009 at 12:16am - kids - by itswhateverr (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me, "what would happen to me if you and daddy died?". I told her that she'd probably live with her Uncle Ant and Aunt Ilene. She looked at me and said "You guys can die. I won't cry. I get everything I want over there." FML

#1551610
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92648) - you deserved it (9069)

On 05/02/2009 at 4:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my daughter said "I love you mom", to me for the first time I can remember. She is 16 years old. She said it because I bought her first thong. FML

#1509670
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60515) - you deserved it (11173)

On 04/30/2009 at 10:50pm - kids - by mylove (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was babysitting a 4 year-old with a speech impediment. I asked her, "Do you got your bag?" And she said, "No. I have my bag. Babies say got. I'm a big girl." I am 20 years old and in the honors program in my college. I was corrected by a 4 year-old with a speech impediment. FML

#1490336
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14628) - you deserved it (93648)

On 04/30/2009 at 1:42pm - kids - by Nanny (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was babysitting a four year old. He was mad and began hitting me. I told him to use his words not his fists when he's mad. He then began telling me how much he hated me and that I should go die and never come back. FML

#1474084
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45005) - you deserved it (17386)

On 04/29/2009 at 9:34pm - kids - by GirlinGreen - United States (Washington)



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