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Today, my little sister got mad at me because I wouldn't let her read my IM conversation. I took a nap and when I woke up, my laptop was gone. She took it on a trip to her grandparents' house, six hours away. Nude pictures of me and my paper due tomorrow are on the laptop. FML

#718784
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60083) - you deserved it (28071)

On 03/31/2009 at 1:32am - kids - by somerandomchick (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was playing with my kid cousin outside. It was warm, so I was wearing my new bikini, and felt pretty good about myself. She suddenly turns to me and asks: "How come your tits are so small when you have such a big belly?" FML

#677101
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66717) - you deserved it (10268)

On 03/29/2009 at 8:32am - kids - by Chubs (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I was at work at a preschool. I was sitting outside with the kids and was getting bored so I started singing. One of the little girls runs up and puts her hand over my mouth and tells me to stop. I'm in a select chorus at my highschool and plan to major in choral studies in college. FML

#659124
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46990) - you deserved it (9903)

On 03/28/2009 at 10:14am - kids - by justjust (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was outside searching for "treasures" with my son using small plastic shovels. All of a sudden he starts screaming. He dug up the bones of our old dog. I told him that we had sent him away to live on a farm, I even helped my son write letters to the farm owners. FML

#640480
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20331) - you deserved it (85799)

On 03/27/2009 at 9:05am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Austria (Vorarlberg)

Today, I had my girlfriend over and we we're watching a movie in my basement. I run upstairs and pop a bag of popcorn. Later I come downstairs to find my 10 year old brother sitting next to my girlfriend saying," My brother always says he wants to screw your brains out, whatever that means". FML

#620278
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25819) - you deserved it (68813)

On 03/26/2009 at 11:42am - kids - by CaoNiMa (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I babysat for two little girls, who wanted to play 'mermaids'. I smiled, and said that I would love to play with them. The older girl laughed, saying "You can't be a mermaid. Mermaids are pretty." FML

#614734
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77089) - you deserved it (4539)

On 03/25/2009 at 11:45pm - kids - by babysitter (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was eating with my boyfriend and his family at a high-end restaurant when, suddenly, I screamed, thinking a dog had just bitten my leg. I am terrified of dogs. I kicked my under-the-table assailant as hard as I could. It was my boyfriend's adorable five-year-old sister. FML

#539856
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65302) - you deserved it (31444)

On 03/22/2009 at 9:02pm - kids - by Noca (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I suggested that my mother download Skype so we could video chat while I'm studying in London over the summer. After I had explained how it worked and that it was free, she said "Well...you'll only be gone for a few months. It's not really worth it." FML

#524922
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60358) - you deserved it (4156)

On 03/22/2009 at 1:45am - kids - by unlovedd (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my little 7 year old brother asked me what horny meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML

#525590
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60995) - you deserved it (6525)

On 03/21/2009 at 11:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
869 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58162) - you deserved it (618019)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, as I was getting my mail, I received a free coupon from a baby supply store saying "congratulations on your expectancy." Thinking it was a mistake, I showed my girlfriend, who I am living with. All she had to say was "Surprise!" FML

#492457
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72571) - you deserved it (15602)

On 03/20/2009 at 5:04pm - kids - by daddy-to-be (man) - United States (New York)



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