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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my 7-year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of the supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML

#21321028
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29689) - you deserved it (3182)

On 12/20/2014 at 5:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML

#21318238
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31822) - you deserved it (3682)

On 12/15/2014 at 10:38pm - kids - by Lisa - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to babysit my 7-year-old niece while my brother bought Christmas presents. After he left, she walked up to me and said in a very dark voice, "I'm gonna make you hate children!" Now my apartment looks like a bomb site. FML

#21316125
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28604) - you deserved it (2570)

On 12/12/2014 at 10:15am - kids - by Che_likes_you - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at my daughter's ballet recital, after she was done dancing, grown adults booed. She's five. FML

#21315826
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41832) - you deserved it (2227)

On 12/11/2014 at 8:43pm - kids - by anon - United States (New York)

Today, my son got in trouble at school. The kids had to solve a problem by determining whether it was better for "Edna" to repair or replace her AC unit. He said Edna is an "old person's name" and she was "probably going to die soon anyway", so she shouldn't do either. FML

#21315591
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27538) - you deserved it (3224)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:10pm - kids - by MedStudent90 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my pet bunny died. My little sister is distraught and practically suicidal, because apparently she playfully pointed a wand at it a few days ago and said "avada kedavra". She's absolutely convinced that she killed it. FML

#21315060
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34965) - you deserved it (2813)

On 12/10/2014 at 2:58pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my daughter wasn't feeling well, so we allowed her to sleep in bed with us. She snuggled right up with my husband. I felt a little jealous until she turned around and cuddled with me, just long enough to throw up all over me. She then flipped back over and snuggled with her dad. FML

#21314569
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33622) - you deserved it (3616)

On 12/09/2014 at 5:39pm - kids - by SickMaMa - United States (New York)

Today, my son told me the Christmas letter he wrote to Santa was a joke and he didn't want the stuff he asked for. I already bought everything. FML

#21314459
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33633) - you deserved it (3847)

On 12/09/2014 at 2:15pm - kids - by Amore (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

#21313211
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39135) - you deserved it (4005)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm - kids - by terdberglerforlyfe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML

#21311570
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37911) - you deserved it (6026)

On 12/04/2014 at 6:46pm - kids - by aprouddaddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, while my boyfriend and I were talking with his sister-in-law about a TV show, his 6-year-old nephew walked up just in time to hear how Santa killed the protagonist's parents. I've never seen such a heartbroken face in my life, and now he won't stop asking if Santa kills people. FML

#21309908
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28120) - you deserved it (3777)

On 12/02/2014 at 2:52am - kids - by xmassmasher - United States (Louisiana)

Today, the school counselor asked me to leave the grief counseling group for the death of my sister. Apparently, I scare the others. FML

#21309843
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33964) - you deserved it (2361)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:30am - kids - by notmycircus (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my only child introduced his new girlfriend to me. He is 36 and has no children. She is 46 and has a pregnant daughter who she is very close with. I don't know if I'll ever be a grandfather, but in any case, my son is going to be one before me. FML

#21308718
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29682) - you deserved it (2562)

On 11/30/2014 at 12:29pm - kids - by Greatgrandpa (man) - Curacao



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