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Man or woman?

Today, I asked my lazy daughter to go make her bed. She responded by lighting our garbage bin on fire. FML

#21001381
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38752) - you deserved it (9197)

On 12/22/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel

Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML

#21001182
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46250) - you deserved it (4538)

On 12/22/2013 at 10:36am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had to basically ground my own husband, after he tricked our 6-year-old son into getting his tongue stuck to a frozen pole. FML

#21000259
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39822) - you deserved it (4222)

On 12/21/2013 at 2:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden

Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML

#20996030
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53145) - you deserved it (7009)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, I had to tell McDonald's that my 11-year-old son thought it would be funny to take a dump in the urinal. I then had to clean it up. FML

#20994572
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34987) - you deserved it (11624)

On 12/16/2013 at 11:34am - kids - by failedfather (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I used my vaporiser to make my house smell like lavender while I went to work. My brother thought it would be funny to pee inside it. My whole house now smells like pissy lavender. FML

#20993906
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35495) - you deserved it (2898)

On 12/15/2013 at 9:04pm - kids - by lavenderpiss (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, is my little sister's 16th birthday. I spent my last $20 on a gift for her, cleaned the house for her party, made an ice cream cake, and got her a rose. What did I get? "I hope you kept the receipt for this. Oh, and stay in your room during my party." FML

#20988657
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47746) - you deserved it (2819)

On 12/11/2013 at 3:25am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML

#20985898
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43489) - you deserved it (6423)

On 12/09/2013 at 12:52am - kids - by Nofoodcoloringisnotasubstituteforfood (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49931) - you deserved it (2373)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my grandkids went around my house claiming items to inherit. FML

#20984796
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46153) - you deserved it (3107)

On 12/08/2013 at 8:19am - kids - by blah! - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got to spend all of my time scrubbing poop off the walls and carpet because my 2-year-old decided he wanted to 'paint mama a picture.' FML

Today, my 6-year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML

#20983816
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44547) - you deserved it (4796)

On 12/07/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by john doe (man) - United States (Oregon)



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