Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I called the police regarding people speeding down my street because I was worried for my young kids. On the way home from my daughters ballet class I got pulled over 2 houses away from my house and got a $150 speeding ticket. FML

#3370137
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9437) - you deserved it (106288)

On 06/30/2009 at 4:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to my 7 year old son's school for a conference with his teacher. When I got there, the teacher said "she adored me for who and what I am". I was puzzled. Turns out my son told his class that I am a "lesbian American." Wrong. I'm Lebanese-American. FML

#3364803
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53495) - you deserved it (3335)

On 06/30/2009 at 12:17pm - kids - by lebanesewoman (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, I had my boss and his family over for dinner. Our kids played while waiting for dinner to be ready. Just as we were sitting to eat, our 8-year-olds ran out and my son says "Look at Baxter! I found underwear with a tail hole!" They had found my crotchless panties and put them on the dog. FML

#3329727
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38108) - you deserved it (10916)

On 06/29/2009 at 1:07am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was at the movies with my mom and dad, and the preview to my "My Sisters Keeper" came on. The trailer started out with "Most babies are accidents..." Right as that line was finished my mom elbowed me and laughed. FML

#3295379
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58095) - you deserved it (4455)

On 06/28/2009 at 2:12am - kids - by A2 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was sitting at the park with a friend when a small child approached us. Just as moved off the bridge to let the kid play, he asked if I would like to play the troll under the bridge. I laughed and said no thanks, to which the kid responded 'but there is nobody else ugly enough.' FML

#3285415
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47036) - you deserved it (3889)

On 06/27/2009 at 9:00pm - kids - by failure (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I went to announce to my son that I am pregnant again. After I told him, he looks up and yells: "fuck this shit!" and walks out of the room. My son is nine years old. FML

#3261545
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63146) - you deserved it (26308)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:05am - kids - by poormom (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I received in the mail a hockey puck autographed by recent hall of fame addition Steve Yzerman. When asked, I had to explain to my 4 year old brother that someone famous had written his name on it. Later, I discovered that my brother decided it needed his name on it too. FML

#3156844
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41232) - you deserved it (4804)

On 06/23/2009 at 9:28pm - kids - by lumi (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my little nieces and nephews were about to have a water balloon fight. I was told to take pictures. They hit me. And my $600 camera. FML

Today, my daughter used pledge to clean the wooden staircase. I found out when I tried to walk down them in socks. FML

#3137998
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42304) - you deserved it (4551)

On 06/23/2009 at 2:12am - kids - by FastFlight (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I got a call from my son's second grade teacher. He happens to write and throw with both hands, and wanted to share this during show and tell. Apparently, he didn't know the word for this is ambidextrous, because his teacher told me, "Your son just told the whole class that he's bisexual!" FML

#3120236
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50389) - you deserved it (4924)

On 06/22/2009 at 2:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my 9 year old nephew found his way onto my iTunes. I now have 401 songs titled "aidfj3P" by "ffjiel". FML

#3115220
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55398) - you deserved it (6545)

On 06/22/2009 at 9:32am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: