Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML

#4483118
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53214) - you deserved it (19907)

On 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm - kids - by Ouch (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while teaching swim lessons, a boy was holding a noodle and claimed it was his fishing rod. Trying to be fun, I grabbed on and told him to "reel" me in. He then yells out 'YAY, I caught a whale!'. FML

Today, my 15-year-old daughter asked for a ride to her boyfriend's house. It's the same house I've been driving her to for sleepovers with her friend "Kate" for two years. FML

#4473849
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34963) - you deserved it (48424)

On 08/12/2009 at 12:14pm - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my cousin came over. I left my iPod on shuffle in the room we were in as I left to go to the bathroom. When I came back she was jamming out to "My Dick" by Mickey Avalon. She won't stop singing it and her mom is coming over to pick her up in an hour. She's 4. FML

#4463161
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14110) - you deserved it (41812)

On 08/11/2009 at 11:34pm - kids - by SomeDJ (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while working at my life guard job, I noticed a girl bouncing on one foot over to the pool. Afraid she would trip, I whistled at her and harshly yelled "NO running or messing around on the pool deck!" She removed her towel, revealing her legs. Or leg, she only had one. FML

#4406209
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47506) - you deserved it (19328)

On 08/09/2009 at 11:27am - kids - by ugh.. (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was at the mall with my little brother. I saw him touching some expensive objects, so I slapped his arm. I noticed he wasn't my brother when he started crying and his real mom slapped me in the face. FML

#4402350
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13789) - you deserved it (50194)

On 08/09/2009 at 3:28am - kids - by mochiko (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went for a hike with my new boyfriend on a fairly deserted trail my ex-husband had shown me awhile back. In all my hikes there, I've never seen another person and figured it would be okay to get intimate. Guess who came hiking past? That's right, my ex-husband. And our 8yr old son. FML

#4382906
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16344) - you deserved it (66731)

On 08/08/2009 at 10:53am - kids - by embarassed (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my cousins and I were bored so we began talking about weird dreams we've had. My little cousin turns to me and says "I had a dream you were in a beauty contest. You lost badly". FML

#4248848
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36226) - you deserved it (4574)

On 08/03/2009 at 3:37am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, my father taught my son to pee on trees outside. We went to the mall later and my son decided to practice what he'd learned on a potted plant. FML

#4199907
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38104) - you deserved it (5506)

On 08/01/2009 at 2:35am - kids - by jcesom (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my little 7 and 6 year old cousins came visit my family home. I heard the oldest one say that my sister was nice and pretty. Then the youngest replied "Yeah, but the older one has the face of a murderer." FML

#4175407
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40263) - you deserved it (3336)

On 07/31/2009 at 12:01am - kids - by BadMurderer (woman) - Mexico (Tabasco)

Today, my 8 year old little sister said "f you" to my mom. My mom thought I told her to say that and grounded me for a month. Later, my sister came up to me and said "Gotcha, bitch." FML

#4158502
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52922) - you deserved it (3592)

On 07/30/2009 at 11:11am - kids - by Toaster (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: